2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "haiku ( happy hummingbird )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
34 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku for flowers, Happy humming bird, h, with its seventeen syllables, has a humorous element that relates the hummingbirds voracious appetite and activity to a heavy drinker. Funny.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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This haiku for flowers, Happy humming bird, h, with its seventeen syllables, has a humorous element that relates the hummingbirds voracious appetite and activity to a heavy drinker. Funny.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you Bill :)
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Poet
We seem to meet once again. I find true haiku spirit in your poems. I've enjoyed the concrete imagery in your first lines and excellent juxtaposition in your satori. You poem is beautifully garnished with that lovely image, though your poem stands alone. I've enjoyed the touch of Alliteration in "happy hummingbird". So much information in your second line which arouses sight, taste and smell ... I feel I could reach out and touch that frozen snapshot. Clever word usage in "happy/no bar tab required" ... I love your use of innuendo here. An excellent entry for the contest, I expect your poem to be a contender for high placement. What I particularly admire is that you've have no excess word usage ... well done. Best of luck in the contest. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Hi Mystery Poet
We seem to meet once again. I find true haiku spirit in your poems. I've enjoyed the concrete imagery in your first lines and excellent juxtaposition in your satori. You poem is beautifully garnished with that lovely image, though your poem stands alone. I've enjoyed the touch of Alliteration in "happy hummingbird". So much information in your second line which arouses sight, taste and smell ... I feel I could reach out and touch that frozen snapshot. Clever word usage in "happy/no bar tab required" ... I love your use of innuendo here. An excellent entry for the contest, I expect your poem to be a contender for high placement. What I particularly admire is that you've have no excess word usage ... well done. Best of luck in the contest. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you Lovinia, you are very kind.
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I'm not sure if I have it right. I think you may be the author of haiku (conch shell)? I guess I will soon know. Congratulations on the success of your poem, you have done well. Good luck. Warmest regards - Lovinia xoxo
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Yes. :) good guess
Comment from mvbrooks
Poem fits the syllable requirement of a haiku.
Originally and traditionally, haikus are about nature. Using a rose stays true to this tradition.
A thought--don't we usually see our own breath when it's cold? The poem seems to take place in a "hothouse" (I pictured a green house) so the contradiction of hot place and cold enough to see a breath confused me.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Poem fits the syllable requirement of a haiku.
Originally and traditionally, haikus are about nature. Using a rose stays true to this tradition.
A thought--don't we usually see our own breath when it's cold? The poem seems to take place in a "hothouse" (I pictured a green house) so the contradiction of hot place and cold enough to see a breath confused me.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you :) the hothouse is warm but it is cold outside.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
What awesome artwork, my friend. I enjoyed you tanka about flowers. The first 2 lines are interconnected and your satori is strong. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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What awesome artwork, my friend. I enjoyed you tanka about flowers. The first 2 lines are interconnected and your satori is strong. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you Debbie :)
Comment from danpald
How free the birds do taste
The nectar of life
No bill to pay along the way
Just singing songs to delight
Well the count of the poem
The flow very good
Good luck with the contest
The voting will be tight
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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How free the birds do taste
The nectar of life
No bill to pay along the way
Just singing songs to delight
Well the count of the poem
The flow very good
Good luck with the contest
The voting will be tight
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thank you Danpald :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your haiku. The presentation is super. I like the color scheme. Good job with the syllable count and touches of alliteration.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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I enjoyed your haiku. The presentation is super. I like the color scheme. Good job with the syllable count and touches of alliteration.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you Jan :)
Comment from JanPerry
I love the imagery, you have mastered it in the Haiku.
You have satisfied the Haiku requirments.
This bird is lucky not to have to pay for his juice like we pay for.
I enjoyed your work, Thanks.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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I love the imagery, you have mastered it in the Haiku.
You have satisfied the Haiku requirments.
This bird is lucky not to have to pay for his juice like we pay for.
I enjoyed your work, Thanks.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you
Comment from Rubylou
Beautiful presentation of your haiku. The blue and slightly purple of the flower give the hinting illusion of dusk. Great description.
I like your ending. The best things in life are free! (sometimes)
Rubylou
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Beautiful presentation of your haiku. The blue and slightly purple of the flower give the hinting illusion of dusk. Great description.
I like your ending. The best things in life are free! (sometimes)
Rubylou
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Hahahaha - okee dokee, I could guess who this is just by that intro, but the haiku is great in any event. Happy hummingbird better not fly if it sips too much of that nectar, bar tab or not! Hahahaha - WELL DONE! A wonderful satori and even better imagery, IMO.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Hahahaha - okee dokee, I could guess who this is just by that intro, but the haiku is great in any event. Happy hummingbird better not fly if it sips too much of that nectar, bar tab or not! Hahahaha - WELL DONE! A wonderful satori and even better imagery, IMO.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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thank you Dawn
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My pleasure.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Mystery writer: I like the photo, blue and white colors and the punch line. No carding, ID's or bouncers to bother with! The painted rose is beautiful. I had these designed for my daughter for valentine's day once. Blue and white are our school colors for the Huskies. Annie is a cheerleader - blue and white - go Huskies! Ok, got carried away. Moms do that. Beautiful entry! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Mystery writer: I like the photo, blue and white colors and the punch line. No carding, ID's or bouncers to bother with! The painted rose is beautiful. I had these designed for my daughter for valentine's day once. Blue and white are our school colors for the Huskies. Annie is a cheerleader - blue and white - go Huskies! Ok, got carried away. Moms do that. Beautiful entry! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 12-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thank you flylikeaneagle, I appreciate your review.