Tiny Tales of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Cuckoo, cuckoo."Multi-authored book of flash/micro horror fiction
10 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Pearl,
Another great addition to the anthology.
I find cuckoo clocks a bit creepy at the best of times. Big Daddy wouldn't get me within 100 yards of it!
Obsession can be real downfall.
Nice work
GMG
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
Hi Pearl,
Another great addition to the anthology.
I find cuckoo clocks a bit creepy at the best of times. Big Daddy wouldn't get me within 100 yards of it!
Obsession can be real downfall.
Nice work
GMG
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Many thanks giraffmang for reading and for your comments. I'm surprised how many reviewers have said they find cuckoo clocks creepy. Glad yu enjoyed being creeped out, many thanks once again.
Comment from Mr. Dark
Hi Pearl! Wow! This was really good! You painted the scene beautifully in so few words, creating a sense of dread and foreboding. And cuckoo clocks! I think cuckoo clocks are creepy as it is, so you already had that on your side in my case, but you took them a step further with 'Big Daddy" (Brilliant name! It anthropomorphized the clock into something... alive).
I don't like to comment on grammar because, for me, this site is a sounding board. If I ever decide to take a story further, I'll give it a proper edit. What I care about, what MATTERS, is the meat, not the bones, so that's what I comment on (Incidentally, I didn't notice any spags).
Great set up. Fantastic imagery (the axeman as the cuckoo... brilliant!) What I especially liked was the fact that instead of using the axeman (something like him coming to life and chopping you to bits, which is what I would have expected), you used the clock itself. I loved this. And the ending left it open to the imagination, which was the best part. I don't like stories that explain everything. That's how we keep our imaginations exercised. Mine certainly got a work out here.
Loved this, girlfriend!
:)
--Sara
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
Hi Pearl! Wow! This was really good! You painted the scene beautifully in so few words, creating a sense of dread and foreboding. And cuckoo clocks! I think cuckoo clocks are creepy as it is, so you already had that on your side in my case, but you took them a step further with 'Big Daddy" (Brilliant name! It anthropomorphized the clock into something... alive).
I don't like to comment on grammar because, for me, this site is a sounding board. If I ever decide to take a story further, I'll give it a proper edit. What I care about, what MATTERS, is the meat, not the bones, so that's what I comment on (Incidentally, I didn't notice any spags).
Great set up. Fantastic imagery (the axeman as the cuckoo... brilliant!) What I especially liked was the fact that instead of using the axeman (something like him coming to life and chopping you to bits, which is what I would have expected), you used the clock itself. I loved this. And the ending left it open to the imagination, which was the best part. I don't like stories that explain everything. That's how we keep our imaginations exercised. Mine certainly got a work out here.
Loved this, girlfriend!
:)
--Sara
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
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Thankyou so much Sara for this very comprehensive review and lovely comments. I'm thrilled you enjoyed my story and that your imagination got a work out. Keeps the balls rolling. Thanks again, much appreciated.
Comment from tfawcus
Spooky! Time gets us all in the end! I shall never visit that wonderful shop in Hahndorf again without thinking about this one! I quite often drive through Hahndorf on my way from Adelaide down to the farm at Port Elliot, but generally only stop at the bakery!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
Spooky! Time gets us all in the end! I shall never visit that wonderful shop in Hahndorf again without thinking about this one! I quite often drive through Hahndorf on my way from Adelaide down to the farm at Port Elliot, but generally only stop at the bakery!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Sorry for spoiling your stopover in Hahndorf, (ha ha) but pleased you got to read my little tiny tale of terror. And yes, what great bakeries there are up their, with the Beesting cakes etc. Back to the present, many thanks for reading and for your comments, much appreciated.
Comment from evilynne
That just fittingly scary. It is well written and holds one's attention from beginning to eerie end. I had a great time reading this. Evi
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
That just fittingly scary. It is well written and holds one's attention from beginning to eerie end. I had a great time reading this. Evi
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Many thanks Evi for reading and enjoying my tiny tale. Much appreciated your comments.
Comment from Mastery
Bravo, Pearl. Very nicely done from start to finish. I am having problems with my pc and cannot copy and paste ther imagery I like a lot, so suffice to say I think this is number one in my book. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
Bravo, Pearl. Very nicely done from start to finish. I am having problems with my pc and cannot copy and paste ther imagery I like a lot, so suffice to say I think this is number one in my book. Bob
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Many thanks for reading and for your generous comments. I had fun with this one, wasn't sure if it was spooky enough, but it seems to have past the test. Once again Bob, thanks for stopping by.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Pearl this is a great story very well told. So unusual - very clever write. This Tiny Tales story thing is really catching on. Your story is really descriptive and there is that element of suspense - the measure of a good story - when you describe Big Daddy. The reader senses something weird is going to happen - but what?? Really very good. Interesting author notes - did the clocks in that shop inspire you to write this great little story? Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
Pearl this is a great story very well told. So unusual - very clever write. This Tiny Tales story thing is really catching on. Your story is really descriptive and there is that element of suspense - the measure of a good story - when you describe Big Daddy. The reader senses something weird is going to happen - but what?? Really very good. Interesting author notes - did the clocks in that shop inspire you to write this great little story? Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Yes they did. We were talking about Handorf as my granddaughter was going to Adelaide on holidays to see family, and for some reason the cuckoo clock shop stayed in my head for a few days, and this story was the result. Many thanks Dorothy for reading and I'm pleased you enjoyed. I had fun writing but wasn't sure if it was spooky enough for the tales. Many thanks.
valda.
Comment from JaseDR85
Excellently written and shown. You paint some good visuals here and everything flows very nicely. An entertaining read, thank you for sharing and keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
Excellently written and shown. You paint some good visuals here and everything flows very nicely. An entertaining read, thank you for sharing and keep up the great work.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Thankyou Jase for reading and for your comments. Much appreciated. and pleased you enjoyed. Thanks again.
Comment from mfowler
'He'd become the conductor of a corrupted orchestra.' With lines like that, you had to be original. And, this great little horror flash is original in every sense. Who would have thought of clocks starting a revolution led by a monster by the name of Big Daddy? But, lead he did and the voice (the owner and collector)is sucked into a vortex of sound just as she tries to find out the source of the chronology cacophony. You paint a wonderfully horrific scene with excellent descriptions and action. Loved lines like:
With each peal, the axeman came out brandishing a blood-spattered, axe. Each chime was a blood-curdling scream reverberating around the room and throughout my upstairs apartment.
I know your shop in Hahndorf as I stop by for coffee often. I see you're from QLD, my old home state. Nice to read your work.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
'He'd become the conductor of a corrupted orchestra.' With lines like that, you had to be original. And, this great little horror flash is original in every sense. Who would have thought of clocks starting a revolution led by a monster by the name of Big Daddy? But, lead he did and the voice (the owner and collector)is sucked into a vortex of sound just as she tries to find out the source of the chronology cacophony. You paint a wonderfully horrific scene with excellent descriptions and action. Loved lines like:
With each peal, the axeman came out brandishing a blood-spattered, axe. Each chime was a blood-curdling scream reverberating around the room and throughout my upstairs apartment.
I know your shop in Hahndorf as I stop by for coffee often. I see you're from QLD, my old home state. Nice to read your work.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Thankyou so much for this comprehensive review. You are from Queensland and live in S.A I am originally from Adelaide (first 47 years) and now live in Townsville. Funny. My granddaughter was going to Adelaide on holidays and we were talking about Handorf (great place) and the cuckoo clock shop just stayed in my head. Really pleased you enjoyed. Many thanks for reading.
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I worked out that we were here for roughly ten years at the same time. I've lived most of my forty years here at Magill. I found an Aussie on FS who has lived in Hawaii for years. We went to the same school in Brisbane, only different years. Another grew up two suburbs away. Small world.
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We lived at Paradise for 25 years. small world.
Comment from Jackarrie
A very interesting read, and is certainly a tale of terror. I can just visualise all the cuckoo clocks and big Daddy looking frightening and ferocious. You have written it well, I see no errors. I love the image with your name on it.
Well done
Mary
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
A very interesting read, and is certainly a tale of terror. I can just visualise all the cuckoo clocks and big Daddy looking frightening and ferocious. You have written it well, I see no errors. I love the image with your name on it.
Well done
Mary
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Many thanks Mary for reading and for your comments. So glad you could see the tale of terror in Big Daddy. Much appreciated.
Comment from Michaelk
Well I was thinking that a clock like Big Daddy would be a cool clock to have around, but not now. Good job of setting the scene. I can easily picture the walls covered with clocks and the axeman peering down at you. My question is, who was screaming in the clock before you got sucked in?
Great job. Another classic Tiny Tale of Terror.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
Well I was thinking that a clock like Big Daddy would be a cool clock to have around, but not now. Good job of setting the scene. I can easily picture the walls covered with clocks and the axeman peering down at you. My question is, who was screaming in the clock before you got sucked in?
Great job. Another classic Tiny Tale of Terror.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Who ever had bought Big Daddy before was the one already screaming, or that is what I think, but I guess each reader can put their own spin on that. Thanks Michaelk for reading and for your comments. Had fun with this one, and so love Dean's artwork.
Thanks again.