Not What I Created You to be.
The Lord sets me straight on what He created me to be.35 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Yes how true, we should appreciate what we can do rather that what we can't. A nice poem that has a lovely message for us all. We all have some special talent to use and yours is to write. Words are very powerful and can say a lot. Plus it is fun too Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Yes how true, we should appreciate what we can do rather that what we can't. A nice poem that has a lovely message for us all. We all have some special talent to use and yours is to write. Words are very powerful and can say a lot. Plus it is fun too Cheers Christine
Comment Written 08-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, Christine. I appreciate your sweet review,
Rhonda
Comment from mfowler
Congratulations, Rhonda. This is a fine poem and Fez sounds like he's a proud man now that he's seen you fly solo. This requires no trademark Fez styled humour as it is a wonderful expression of faith and a philosophical gem in the humble way it explores the purpose of each of our lives and puts into perspective those silly feelings of inadequacy that we feel when we can't match someone else's prowess or talent. For three verses you compare yourself to an artist, a musician and a builder, and each time you ask why you can't be that way. The final two verses explore what God might say in return and they give the wisdom of recognising what you already are and how that is the purpose of your being and the way in which you honour him.
Your construction of this is inventive. Your meter and rhyme seem to be spot on and the reading is easy. That always helps a viewer to appreciate the depth and quality of the message which in this case is wonderful.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Congratulations, Rhonda. This is a fine poem and Fez sounds like he's a proud man now that he's seen you fly solo. This requires no trademark Fez styled humour as it is a wonderful expression of faith and a philosophical gem in the humble way it explores the purpose of each of our lives and puts into perspective those silly feelings of inadequacy that we feel when we can't match someone else's prowess or talent. For three verses you compare yourself to an artist, a musician and a builder, and each time you ask why you can't be that way. The final two verses explore what God might say in return and they give the wisdom of recognising what you already are and how that is the purpose of your being and the way in which you honour him.
Your construction of this is inventive. Your meter and rhyme seem to be spot on and the reading is easy. That always helps a viewer to appreciate the depth and quality of the message which in this case is wonderful.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much! You honor me with the stars and your words. Those of you who write poetry often have probably experienced this before, but the poem was on my heart all day, and when evening came and I had time, it just close out.
Thank you (and Fez) again,
Rhonda
Comment from gypsymoth
Not only does this deserve six stars for form, but even more for content. Very meaningful and enjoyable read.
Gypsymoth
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Not only does this deserve six stars for form, but even more for content. Very meaningful and enjoyable read.
Gypsymoth
Comment Written 08-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much for the six stars and the precious review, Gypsymoth!
Rhonda
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Beautifully said, my friend. We all have a unique purpose and talents, and should be thankful for them rather than wanting something that is not ours. We can't be everything. A wonderfully penned poem, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Beautifully said, my friend. We all have a unique purpose and talents, and should be thankful for them rather than wanting something that is not ours. We can't be everything. A wonderfully penned poem, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, Debbie. I so appreciate your feedback!
Rhonda
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Rhonda. Well it looks like I'm redundant! You don't need me any more because you have graduated with honours. It is a proud moment for a teacher, as you know, when a student not only passes the course but shines like a star in a world filled with darkness. I bow to you. In Australia the form that I (we) write is called "bush poetry.".....
A couple of suggestions that I learned the hard way...
The less fill in words the better the poem reads, give it a try and see what you think. If it doesn't sound right without"and" or "but" find another word. Let me know if that doesn't make sense.
"Lord, I listened to an orchestra playing tunes to honor you
they caught me up and spun my heart and they did it all in tune,"...Try not to put too many "and" in one line, I would take the 2nd "and out and replace it with a comma.
"Lord, I watched a man build a house as I know I never could
with boards(,) and(-and +some) nails and wonder, he made masterpiece of wood."
"My child, I made you to grow plants in the garden outside your house
and(-and) to gather up the treasures produced within their boughs."
Cheers (retired) Fez LOL.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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G'day Rhonda. Well it looks like I'm redundant! You don't need me any more because you have graduated with honours. It is a proud moment for a teacher, as you know, when a student not only passes the course but shines like a star in a world filled with darkness. I bow to you. In Australia the form that I (we) write is called "bush poetry.".....
A couple of suggestions that I learned the hard way...
The less fill in words the better the poem reads, give it a try and see what you think. If it doesn't sound right without"and" or "but" find another word. Let me know if that doesn't make sense.
"Lord, I listened to an orchestra playing tunes to honor you
they caught me up and spun my heart and they did it all in tune,"...Try not to put too many "and" in one line, I would take the 2nd "and out and replace it with a comma.
"Lord, I watched a man build a house as I know I never could
with boards(,) and(-and +some) nails and wonder, he made masterpiece of wood."
"My child, I made you to grow plants in the garden outside your house
and(-and) to gather up the treasures produced within their boughs."
Cheers (retired) Fez LOL.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Oh, no, you can't retire now, Master, this was just a practice shot!!!!
You leave me humble and emotional with your sweet and kind review. I will go back and make the changes. See, I still need you!
Your humble acolyte,
Rhonda
Oh, and thank you for the stars, my friend!
Comment from seaglass
This is a beautiful poem with smooth rhyme and meter. We often need to be reminded a one gift is not better than another and all together we bless the world.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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This is a beautiful poem with smooth rhyme and meter. We often need to be reminded a one gift is not better than another and all together we bless the world.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, and you are spot on with the meaning. I think sometimes we forget what we really have while looking at the talents of other people!
Rhonda
Comment from angel123
Your poem is beautifully and spiritually written. I enjoyed reading it and it's a beautiful message. I agree that we should enjoy and celebrate who we are instead of worrying who we were meant to be. Your poem flows and rhymes well and your artwork choice is wonderful.
Angel123
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Your poem is beautifully and spiritually written. I enjoyed reading it and it's a beautiful message. I agree that we should enjoy and celebrate who we are instead of worrying who we were meant to be. Your poem flows and rhymes well and your artwork choice is wonderful.
Angel123
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Angel, for the sweet and generous review, my friend! You are encouraging!
Rhonda
Comment from cbat
A beautiful poem and artwork.
I would dedicate this to my mom.
You make me wish I still believed.
I hope you keep writing.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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A beautiful poem and artwork.
I would dedicate this to my mom.
You make me wish I still believed.
I hope you keep writing.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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You can still believe in who you are. No one can take that from you. Thanks for the review!
Rhonda
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I think this is a beautiful spiritual poem about God, the loving creator of Heaven and Earth and all people and animals. You feel that love and express it as a writer.
I would change this line if I was you=
......because I made you who you are....
......because I made who you are....
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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I think this is a beautiful spiritual poem about God, the loving creator of Heaven and Earth and all people and animals. You feel that love and express it as a writer.
I would change this line if I was you=
......because I made you who you are....
......because I made who you are....
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much for the great review, and helpful input,
Rhonda
Comment from rjuselius
this piece of poetic art is sheer brilliance! it is genius if i might say. i love the message and the execution! i've never actually read such a poem with such an impact.
thank you for sharing! i only wish i had six stars left to give.
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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this piece of poetic art is sheer brilliance! it is genius if i might say. i love the message and the execution! i've never actually read such a poem with such an impact.
thank you for sharing! i only wish i had six stars left to give.
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Rebekka, you are so sweet!!! I think your review has an impact! I will take it over 6 stars anytime!
Rhonda
