Comment from Muffins

Excellent

What type of Police Officer slithers around a house without announcing himself or scanning the place with a flashlight. This guy must have been sleeping in police class 101 on the first day.

The first paragraph sets the scene with enough suspense to generate a taste of fear. The ending was a result of a bad mistake on both parts, but he's a police officer so it will only go bad for Dena. Good story. It stands up well against the other stories in this book.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015

Not a very smart one! He's lucky I didn't have the hammer!
Thank you so very much, my friend~Debbie

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Beware the nervous sleeper! This reminds me that years ago, when I was a navigator in the RAF, I used to return home at all sorts of hours of the day and night. While I was away my wife used to sleep with a poker beside the bed 'for protection'! I always lived in fear and trepidation of a similar event occurring!

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015

Yeah, lucky man that the claw hammer was by my chair, LOL. Thank you, my friend~Debbie

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I bet you were scared beyond words, Debbie. To think this story could have been totally true! Thank goodness that this time you didn't have a claw hammer handy! But, it's not a bad idea to have one for the possible...next time! :) Sandra. xsx

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015

Yeah, lucky man that the claw hammer was by my chair, LOL. Thank you, my friend~Debbie

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Great true story, Debbie. I can imagine how frightened you must have been.
I have thought about getting one of those lifeline pendents. I wonder if what happened to you happens often.
Well, at least you know that they ARE watching out for you.
Aren't the police supposed to announce who they are? Why would he be wandering outside before he rang the doorbell? Really dumb officer.

:) e

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2015

I finally quit wearing mine and tied it to my wheelchair since it's always close to me. I'm sure others do to. The first thing they say is 'do you need help?'. As for the police officer, he is lucky I didn't have a hammer. Have a good day, my friend~Debbie

reply by barkingdog on 08-Jul-2015

If an ambulatory person wearing one were to lay down, like you did while sleeping, the alarm could go off a lot.
Does the pendant itself ask 'do you need help?' If so, what are you supposed to do then?
I still think the officer was stupid, looking for you outside. Why the heck would he think you were outside?

reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015

The pendent is a remote for a the lifeline unit which attaches to the phone line. I set mine off accidentally quite a few times. I think they are a good idea for us 'loners'. Take care, my friend~Debbie

Comment from Jumbo J

Excellent

Hi Debbie,
what a classic!... from your true notes, right down to the great little horror you so vividly captured... the imagery was outstanding... well he should have identified himself... claw hammers happen?

Well written my most scariest of friends... enjoyed reading your creative flare.

With our thoughts we create,
fight or flight,
James vx's.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, dear friend. My claw hammer isn't by the bed, it is beside my chair. Really. He-he-he... This was fun. Glad you enjoyed it, my friend. There may be more to come... There was the time I was nearly eaten by a bear~Debbie xx

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

You scared me, I don't normally read Horror and Thriller postings, I am worried about getting nightmares-but it wasn't so scary, then I read your notes! You must have been terrified. Well written with lots of suspense and some humour! Faye

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend. Yes, it was terrifying. I hope you have sweet dreams~Debbie

Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

GOSH! Debbie

You scared the living daylights out of me. Even worse when I knew it was 'almost' true. What a scare for you and I guess the poor cope when you discovered each other. I'm so pleased you don't keep a claw-hammer by your bedside ... much better idea, the mobile phone. lol I'm sure dean loved it. You've done a fine job of building to your climax, you do write horror well my gal. Well done ... creepy. I knew I shouldn't have read this in the middle of the night, way past my bed-time. :) Hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

The claw hammer is by my chair, really. Dean liked it. I should write more if these. Between my nightmares and real life events, I am sure there are more. Sweet dreams, my friend~Debbie

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

Very nicely done here.
Good tension built up quickly in this short piece.
Great flow to the piece to the shocking ending.
Without the author's notes one would wonder what he was doing there.

Nice one
GMG

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend~Debbie

Comment from Loyd C. Taylor, Sr

Excellent

Oh my! That was some story Deb.
It does happen, but very seldom. This is one of those stories you tell over and over. Fascinating!
Loyd

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend~Debbie

reply by Loyd C. Taylor, Sr on 08-Jul-2015

My pleasure, Loyd

Comment from Louise Michelle

Excellent

I had to smile when you said to read the notes last. It's usually the other way around.

What an extraordinary experience you had! You did such a good job turning it into a creepy flash of fiction. Good work, Debbie. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015

Thank you, my friend~Debbie