Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Christine. Beautiful work mate and I don't have a six, bugger it. The flow and rhyming are perfect and the story is a beauty. Well done mate...

One slight suggestion...

"They gathered round to take a look, my lifeless body still
But I'm not going anywhere, deaths just not in my will." (I would take "just" out, it flows better I think.)

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2015

Thank Fez for your great review and comments and yes I wondered about the just so thanks I'll take it out a bit of fun. It was supposed to be entered onto a contest 'I woke up dead ' but somehow it ended up on the general site so I wrote another one for the contest instead. Always good to hear from you Cheers Chris😀

Comment from pharp

Excellent

Christine
I really enjoyed this great poem about the fun time you have with you beautiful grand daughters. I also like how you ended it by not allowing death to cheat you of your time with your family. Excellent rhyming and rhythm and very smooth flow allowing for an easy and enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing. LOL Portia

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2015

Thanks Portia for your review and comments for this effort, and yes I did have a fun day with my sweet granddaughters. This was supposed to be an entry for the' I woke up Dead ' contest hence the theme, but somehow it managed to not get onto the entry site and instead on the general site. My other one Another Go I then wrote to enter the contest so they are a bit of a matching set. Appreciate your support and lovely comments Cheers Christine😃

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your poem about being too busy to die. Good rhythm and even flow with excellent word choices and attractive format with a lovely picture of your grandkids.
Nicely done!

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2015

thanks Gypsy Blue Rose for your lovely review and rating for this poem. It was an entry into the contest but somehow got lost my fault but I'm glad you like it and yes the grandkids are very special we have lots of fun Cheers Christine😀

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Too bad you did not enter this in the contest. I have reviewed others that were and this would add the most positive perspective of what I have read of them. This well written poem indeed clearly illustrates that life has much more to offer than the chasing of money and fame. This would have been a very good contest entry. It makes an even better poem with the very positive message that nothing is more important than family. More like this one need to be written. Very well done.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Hi Brett my friend thank you for your great review and lovely comments. I thought I had indeed enter the contest but somehow it didn't get onto the contest site so here it is on general poetry. So I did then write another one for the contest so I'll wait and see. And yes family is very important and I'm not ready to leave yet. Glad you found it worthy of the contest though thanks a lot as always Cheers Christine😀

Comment from dmt1967

Exceptional

I am glad you will be around for a long time my friend. We have lost too many talented people this year already and I would miss you and your poetry. Stay safe and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Wow dmt1967,what a beautiful review you have given me I thank you from the bottom my heart. Being quite new to this site and the first time sharing my poetry in a public forum you humble me with you lovely words. I am having so much fun and learning heaps and meeting the nicest people, fellow poets and writers all liked minded that I will hopefully be around for quite some time. A big hug to you Cheers Christine😀😀

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Chrissy, this is a truly wonderful poem, I can't understand why you didn't enter it for a particular competition called 'Waking up Dead' which is running on here at the moment, it is a brilliant poem and would have been in the running my friend.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks Eric for you great review,. I actually thought I had entered it into a contest called I woke up dead but misplaced it into the general poetry section instead so I wrote a new one for that and hopefully it made the contest lol. A bit of fun anyway but thanks for your time and review appreciate your feedback Cheers Christine

reply by Eric1 on 02-Jul-2015

You have to actually go onto the contest to enter it Chrissy, it normally costs $5.5 to enter my friend.

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2015

I thought I did I entered this in the I woke up dead contest but it got 'lost' I did pay the $5,00 so I wrote another one instead, and entered that instead. cheers Christine

Comment from Linda Kay

Excellent

Great contrast as the happy little poem goes on filled with a fun day with the grandchildren then you woke up dead! Glad there was a happy ending and those beautiful girls saved you!

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015

Thanks Linda, glad you liked this I thought I had actually entered this into a contest called I woke up dead and hence this is why I wrote this, still not sure if I actually put in in the right place. But thank you for reading and reviewing this anyway I'm glad you like it Cheers Christine😀

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Christine..

_ This is so cleverly composed--especially when you wake up dead!
_ This was such a fun read.
_ Your granddaughters are so beautiful.
_ It sounds as if they keep Grandma quite busy as well.
_ Enjoy---and stick around awhile. (*<*)

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015

Hi Jax thanks for your review and lovely comments for this piece. I think I may have woke up dead this am as I wrote this for the contest called I woke up dead and thought I had submitted this in that but not sure if I have done that. But never mind if it hasn't made the contest I will keep on site anyway and may just write another one for the contest. As always appreciate your great support Cheers Christine😀 Ps yes I do have another life ha ha