Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hi chrissyxxx
A great way to describe the sun as light and

how the moon shows its light when dark.

thank you for reminding me the beauty of day and evening.

Gert

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015

Hi Gert thanks for having a look at this little poem I was hoping it would reflect the passing of the day and yes the transition can be beautiful. Cheers Christine😀

reply by Gert sherwood on 27-Jun-2015

You are welcome chrissy
Gert

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

I like the picture and the golden background. I think this poem is really very good and I enjoyed reading it very much. I like the idea of the moon and sun being like two ships passing in the night. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

Thank you dmt1967 for stopping by to read and review my poem and for your good luck wishes. Yes they are like 2 ships passing I like that comment .glad you liked this .Cheers c😃

reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

Thank your dmt1967 for stopping by to read my poem and for your great rating and comments I like the ships in the night suggestion. Also thanks for your good luck message .Cheers c😀

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Very nicely written and presented. Image is perfect to accompany your words. Three short lines that make sense and fun to read. Marilyn/BeasPeas

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

Thanks Marilyn for your review and lovely words. Yes I liked the image too and this was a fun poem to write. I appreciate your time to read my poem entry .Cheers C😄

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Average

Nice haiku. I don't like the imagery and the flow of each line. Has the 5/3/5 syllables count. Kigo focus on- day and night. Missing two juxtaposed ideas. You can't repeat lines in a haiku.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015

thank you Gypsy Blue Rose for your comments I appreciate you reading my poem

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent lune, write, mystery writer, it can mean so many things on different levels. it could mean our world has lost its Light and is going toward the darkness. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015

Thank you sweetwoodjax for you lovely review rating and best wishes Cheers

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Sounds really good read aloud. Shows the cycle of life, all in the sun and moon changing our 24 hours where time never ages as we do. Well crafted. Good luck with the contest. Les

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015

thank you Glasstruth for having a read and I'm glad you thought it read well and sounded ok. I appreciate you comments and best wishes Cheers Christine😀

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I like the opposites that you used. You lune is in perfect form and syllable count. good luck to you in the contest.
teresa

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015

Thank you Teresa for having a read and your reflective review, that is the type of response I was hoping for so thanks with appreciation of you time Cheers Christine😀

Comment from Julia.

Good

This little poem meets the form requirements, and I like the contrast between sun and moon. However, this poem seems rather...banal. It states something obvious and doesn't attempt to dig into the topic at all. I think the poem would be stronger if it attempted something more.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015

Thank you Julia for your review and comments, it was just a bit of fun having a go at this style. I appreciate all feedback and will consider this next time Cheers Christine😊

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This is an interesting entry in the 5-3-5 Lune Contest. The form and syllable counts are right on, and the presentation is striking. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015

Thank you Jeanie thought I would try this style when I saw the time frame to enter I had 16 minutes to think up something and so here it is . Enjoying the challenges of FanStory and appreciating everyone's reviews as well so thank you again for reading my work Cheers Christine😄

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi...

_ This is a great Lune, with just as super artwork depicting night/day.
_ Nicely presented entry.
_ Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015

Thanks Jax a little rushed job saw the time and only had 16 minutes to create so had a quick think and that is what I came up with. Enjoy your reviews and yes still smiling Cheers Christine 😀

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 24-Jun-2015

16 minutes! Wow, you're a whiz. (*<*)