Miscellaneous Poems - vol 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Story of Lot"Yet more poems
19 total reviews
Comment from Serendipity!
Technically the poem is okay, rhythm not too forced, that sort of thing, . I didn't have too much trouble reading it, but you conclusion leaves a bit to be desired. Those that question Bible stories seem to be missing the point, which is that they are provided to teach important lessons; warnings of serious consequences, the love or power of God and so on. Just a thought.
"I have two daughters, they are virgins - "I have two daughters, virgins -
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
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Technically the poem is okay, rhythm not too forced, that sort of thing, . I didn't have too much trouble reading it, but you conclusion leaves a bit to be desired. Those that question Bible stories seem to be missing the point, which is that they are provided to teach important lessons; warnings of serious consequences, the love or power of God and so on. Just a thought.
"I have two daughters, they are virgins - "I have two daughters, virgins -
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
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It's your prerogative to down-rate my story because it doesn't agree with your particular life view. Hope you had fun with that.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellently done and I love the style yo chose to use.
Rhythm and rhyme are spot on and flow makes it easy to read.
Excellently told.
Good luck
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
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Excellently done and I love the style yo chose to use.
Rhythm and rhyme are spot on and flow makes it easy to read.
Excellently told.
Good luck
Comment Written 21-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Barb, for your generous comments. Much appreciated! Craig.
Comment from Pantygynt
Oh you have lightened our darkness CD. This is beyond brilliant. Laugh I nearly drank my own beer! And the funniest part is that it is straight out of that piece of pornography they keep in the churches. It is on a par with the deaf Australian taxi driver who didnt quite hear his client the bishop's story correctly and got a little muddled when retelling it later. You know the one about this bloke Simpson and his beautiful wife Delightful, who wentg down to the cornfield for a grind, when over the hill came forty thousand prostitutes. This bloke Simpsone slew twenty thousand of these with the arse bone of a Jew and the reainder he rooted!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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Oh you have lightened our darkness CD. This is beyond brilliant. Laugh I nearly drank my own beer! And the funniest part is that it is straight out of that piece of pornography they keep in the churches. It is on a par with the deaf Australian taxi driver who didnt quite hear his client the bishop's story correctly and got a little muddled when retelling it later. You know the one about this bloke Simpson and his beautiful wife Delightful, who wentg down to the cornfield for a grind, when over the hill came forty thousand prostitutes. This bloke Simpsone slew twenty thousand of these with the arse bone of a Jew and the reainder he rooted!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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Haha! sounds like the incompetent telegraph operator who nearly single handedly ruined the D-Day invasion by relaying the message "send three and fourpence, we're going to a dance!"
Thanks for the humorous review, and the super generous rating! Make a priest elated.
Craig
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It was well deserved.
Comment from Curly Girly
Ouch! This was scorching hot. I have never heard a Bible story told with such frightful candour in true Aussie style. Humorous and fairly accurate, I am left speechless. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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Ouch! This was scorching hot. I have never heard a Bible story told with such frightful candour in true Aussie style. Humorous and fairly accurate, I am left speechless. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the great review. I do have a fault with tending to say things the way I see them! All the best - Craig.
Comment from --Turtle.
When I feel I've lost my way
..... as an arrow.
(Oh my, the story of Lot is one of my favorite bible stories. And for some reason, in my head, this poem is sung in the voice of Monty Python's Eric Idle, which makes me kind of happy. No I think it makes me really happy.)
about a godly man called(named?) Lot
"I have two daughters, they are virgins -
if in doubt consult their surgeons;
(Yeah, the flow of this is really good. And I think I even hear the music of the Galaxy Song. This fits with an upbeat sort of ditty as that song. I got here and just giggled for a bit. I don't know if you've ever watched Monty Python, but that's where my mind was reading this.)
This was really entertaining. It's too late at night for me to think of the more serious aspects of the story and its representations... school wise, as the sustenance of curriculum, but well done on this poem. Some real great rhymes that are witty and memorable.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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When I feel I've lost my way
..... as an arrow.
(Oh my, the story of Lot is one of my favorite bible stories. And for some reason, in my head, this poem is sung in the voice of Monty Python's Eric Idle, which makes me kind of happy. No I think it makes me really happy.)
about a godly man called(named?) Lot
"I have two daughters, they are virgins -
if in doubt consult their surgeons;
(Yeah, the flow of this is really good. And I think I even hear the music of the Galaxy Song. This fits with an upbeat sort of ditty as that song. I got here and just giggled for a bit. I don't know if you've ever watched Monty Python, but that's where my mind was reading this.)
This was really entertaining. It's too late at night for me to think of the more serious aspects of the story and its representations... school wise, as the sustenance of curriculum, but well done on this poem. Some real great rhymes that are witty and memorable.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much Turtlestage5 - I'm really glad you liked it. And I am a MASSIVE fan of Monty Python - The Galaxy Song being one of my very very favorites! - I have the complete DVD collection of all their movies, plus the TV serieseses.
"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cuz there's bugger all down here on Earth"
I even made that as a ring tone on my phone :)
Thanks again,
Craig
Comment from I am Cat
yeah... well, you know I've been lurking around this poem for a couple of days until I had the appropriate amount of stars to award it what it deserves.... But.... since they still won't let me give it 100 stars, you're stuck with this measly peasly six stars. ;)
I think you're a brave (read: bull-headed) soul, who knows his bible stories forward and backward, obviously to pick THIS particular story.
*claps*
(no, not those kind)
for this particular story definitely would 'teach one a lesson or two'
1. never trust dad a Lot
2. don't save yourself for marriage.
wait... do you think that was the actual intent of the story?
either way, works for me.
From the first moment i read this poem (which, I'm proud to say, was *ahem* several before general audiences) I knew it was a winner.
I'll be first to the voting polls to vote for it.
I, for one, enjoy a story told without fluff and stuff, and just enough of the tough, gruff sort of muff which needs to be handled without kid gluffs.
Well done, well told
you were tough, you were bold
I will vote, hope you win
If you don't
enter again
yeah... I got nuttin'
but... you got this six,
and ..... after all, that's all that matters,
>^^<
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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yeah... well, you know I've been lurking around this poem for a couple of days until I had the appropriate amount of stars to award it what it deserves.... But.... since they still won't let me give it 100 stars, you're stuck with this measly peasly six stars. ;)
I think you're a brave (read: bull-headed) soul, who knows his bible stories forward and backward, obviously to pick THIS particular story.
*claps*
(no, not those kind)
for this particular story definitely would 'teach one a lesson or two'
1. never trust dad a Lot
2. don't save yourself for marriage.
wait... do you think that was the actual intent of the story?
either way, works for me.
From the first moment i read this poem (which, I'm proud to say, was *ahem* several before general audiences) I knew it was a winner.
I'll be first to the voting polls to vote for it.
I, for one, enjoy a story told without fluff and stuff, and just enough of the tough, gruff sort of muff which needs to be handled without kid gluffs.
Well done, well told
you were tough, you were bold
I will vote, hope you win
If you don't
enter again
yeah... I got nuttin'
but... you got this six,
and ..... after all, that's all that matters,
>^^<
Comment Written 21-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015
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Haha - I only write anything here so I can ROFL reading your reviews ;-)
My gratitude I can't express
Without your words I'd be a mess
is it allowed to pay in p o t ?
Your comments would be worth a "Lot"
Thanks so much Cat :)
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*chuckles*
you crack me up lol
Comment from Gloria ....
Your Bible story poem is very well written, Craig. Excellent prosody, imagery and rhyme.
The story of Lot takes quite the go around eh? I guess the moral level is open for interpretation. I find it interesting that NSW is sacking psychologists and social workers in favour of religious teachers. I guess the success of that will all depend on how the stories are interpreted.
Excellent write. I love bible stories myself. They are filled with drama.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015
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Your Bible story poem is very well written, Craig. Excellent prosody, imagery and rhyme.
The story of Lot takes quite the go around eh? I guess the moral level is open for interpretation. I find it interesting that NSW is sacking psychologists and social workers in favour of religious teachers. I guess the success of that will all depend on how the stories are interpreted.
Excellent write. I love bible stories myself. They are filled with drama.
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015
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I'm almost speechless. Thank you, Gloria, for your wonderful review. I presume you didn't miss the fact that I'm not in favor of these actions, so I'm even more thankful for your very kind rating. All the best, Craig.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I enjoyed reading your poem. Good rhythm and even flow with excellent word choice to enhance the theme. I also like the picture and the colors you chose. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015
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I enjoyed reading your poem. Good rhythm and even flow with excellent word choice to enhance the theme. I also like the picture and the colors you chose. Nicely done!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Gypsy Blue Rose, for your kind words of encouragement. Glad you like my poem. All the best - Craig.
Comment from Muffins
The rhythm rolls smoothly from one verse into another. As I read it, a sort of a sing song beat played behind the words. I'm familiar with the lot story regarding his wife turning to salt. However, I wasn't familiar with the homosexual, almost rape and incest. The bible has plenty of chapters( the one mentioning Jesus) that are full of unpleasant things. Nevertheless, nothing is perfect including the bible and every one of its story has a lesson to teach, either good of bad.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
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The rhythm rolls smoothly from one verse into another. As I read it, a sort of a sing song beat played behind the words. I'm familiar with the lot story regarding his wife turning to salt. However, I wasn't familiar with the homosexual, almost rape and incest. The bible has plenty of chapters( the one mentioning Jesus) that are full of unpleasant things. Nevertheless, nothing is perfect including the bible and every one of its story has a lesson to teach, either good of bad.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
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It certainly is full of "unpleasant" things! Thanks for checking out my poem, and thank you for the generous rating :-) Craig.
Comment from dmt1967
The bible is full of incest my friend. Cain killed able and violated the do not kill policy. There are too many to list. This poem I found both funny and sad. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
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The bible is full of incest my friend. Cain killed able and violated the do not kill policy. There are too many to list. This poem I found both funny and sad. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
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Thank you dmt1967, for reviewing my poem. Incest, and a lot more besides. Thanks for your kind wishes, Craig.
