Ten Children Singing in the Choir
A story about ten little children2 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written story in a poem you have penned for the prompt about the ten little children singing in the choir. You used great descriptive words and very lovely picture from the art work you chose. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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This is a very well written story in a poem you have penned for the prompt about the ten little children singing in the choir. You used great descriptive words and very lovely picture from the art work you chose. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Thank you kindly...
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is a very sweet poem, as the writer goes through each little child in the choir, in appreciate of his or her uniqueness.
I found a few places where the meter could be improved, and I can offer suggestions for doing so (with other very minor corrections):
The little boy who is holding his head a unique way -
-->
One little boy holds his head a tilted way;
The fifth child is a little girl,
-->
The fifth child's a little girl,
Her mom is thankful to God,
for her being in His care
-->
Her mom is thankful to the Lord,
that she is in His care
In the phrase "for her being in his care," you have an extra space between "being" and "in"
There's also an extra space between "lifting" and "hands"
And between "tallest" and "of"
(there may also be extra spaces elsewhere, you might want to look)
With all their voices singing praises
God in Heaven says well done!!!
-->
With all their voices singing praises,
God in Heaven says, well done!!!
***
And I also say about your poem, well done.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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This is a very sweet poem, as the writer goes through each little child in the choir, in appreciate of his or her uniqueness.
I found a few places where the meter could be improved, and I can offer suggestions for doing so (with other very minor corrections):
The little boy who is holding his head a unique way -
-->
One little boy holds his head a tilted way;
The fifth child is a little girl,
-->
The fifth child's a little girl,
Her mom is thankful to God,
for her being in His care
-->
Her mom is thankful to the Lord,
that she is in His care
In the phrase "for her being in his care," you have an extra space between "being" and "in"
There's also an extra space between "lifting" and "hands"
And between "tallest" and "of"
(there may also be extra spaces elsewhere, you might want to look)
With all their voices singing praises
God in Heaven says well done!!!
-->
With all their voices singing praises,
God in Heaven says, well done!!!
***
And I also say about your poem, well done.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Mary Kay,
Thanks so much for your review, suggestions and for bringing the needed corrections to my attention. I am so grateful for your help.
Blessings...
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You're very welcome and so gracious. God bless you. - Mary Kay
