Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "The Journey"Dawn of Chaos
26 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A tour it is of the shadow hits stools,
What am I missing here? Some of the words don't fir, making the verse meaningless. I think you're trying too hard.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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A tour it is of the shadow hits stools,
What am I missing here? Some of the words don't fir, making the verse meaningless. I think you're trying too hard.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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A point well made, my writes does suffer its pits, due to reviews like your, as others, perhaps a better expressed thought. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
Comment from royowen
An excellent poem written in reflection of the others, sort of like a "spider in reflection on a mirror" well done, superbly written, I love the triplets, with the odd one rhyming. I found it articulate free flowing imaginative and creatively good, most enjoyable, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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An excellent poem written in reflection of the others, sort of like a "spider in reflection on a mirror" well done, superbly written, I love the triplets, with the odd one rhyming. I found it articulate free flowing imaginative and creatively good, most enjoyable, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Glad aspects of this write was captivating, flaws in my writes flourishing, reviews encouragement is a plus. Not all bad. Thanking you for your generous rate and comforting thought.
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Most welcome
Comment from kiwisteveh
I'm sorry, but large chunks of this do not make any sense at all. For example:
God's barn
moors praying in put maze
being us friendly a seam as brothers
peaking his wisdom
fact held a claim on heaven's reigns
My best suggestion to you is to find someone with a stronger command of English expression to proofread your poems before posting. There is obviously some sort of message here, but the garbled phrasing makes it impossible to know what. The reversal of the poem is also innovative, but again, any point is lost.
Steve
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I'm sorry, but large chunks of this do not make any sense at all. For example:
God's barn
moors praying in put maze
being us friendly a seam as brothers
peaking his wisdom
fact held a claim on heaven's reigns
My best suggestion to you is to find someone with a stronger command of English expression to proofread your poems before posting. There is obviously some sort of message here, but the garbled phrasing makes it impossible to know what. The reversal of the poem is also innovative, but again, any point is lost.
Steve
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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The truth about my writes,pleasing notes to my heart, more work for me to apply myself. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
Comment from Ella Gott
Wow this is awesome! I wish more people wrote like this. You are awesome and I can't wait to hear more from you! 5 stars for sure! Keep posting and I will definitely keep reading my friend!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Wow this is awesome! I wish more people wrote like this. You are awesome and I can't wait to hear more from you! 5 stars for sure! Keep posting and I will definitely keep reading my friend!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Good to hear there is a split view about this work, as stated, very interesting. Glad you found the positive side. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching thoughts.
Comment from R56Ma3
Your description of the world's chaos and man's uncertainty tells me what is going on today and why there is so much confusion and hate among us. We must learn to trust God. Well done! R56ma3
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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Your description of the world's chaos and man's uncertainty tells me what is going on today and why there is so much confusion and hate among us. We must learn to trust God. Well done! R56ma3
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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Glad aspects of this write touched you, flaws in my works are still under study. I'm happy their size wasn't enough to detour my intents. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
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Your welcome
Comment from Jean Lutz
Wow. What depth these words go in pouring out God's love never ending. Do you know about one third of the Hebrew Scripture (Old Testament) is written in poetic form? Hebrew parallelism and chiasmus are two forms you might like to explore.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
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Wow. What depth these words go in pouring out God's love never ending. Do you know about one third of the Hebrew Scripture (Old Testament) is written in poetic form? Hebrew parallelism and chiasmus are two forms you might like to explore.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
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Great heads up. I will check your suggestion out. Glad you for this work pleasing, seemingly igniting beliefs in you. Thanking you for your generous rate and comforting comments
Comment from Debbie Pope
I am learning so much from the poems on FanStory. This poem is no exception. I have never heard of TPAC. Thanks for the explanation. I am currently reading Dan Brown's ORIGINS and TPAC is an interesting tidbit to hear of today. As to your poem, I really like it. I must admit that there are many lines that I don't understand, but I deem it the mark of good poetry. I will continue to peruse. I understood it better reading it backwards. That is a novel technique for me. If done right, as you have done, it works. That is cool. Good job.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
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I am learning so much from the poems on FanStory. This poem is no exception. I have never heard of TPAC. Thanks for the explanation. I am currently reading Dan Brown's ORIGINS and TPAC is an interesting tidbit to hear of today. As to your poem, I really like it. I must admit that there are many lines that I don't understand, but I deem it the mark of good poetry. I will continue to peruse. I understood it better reading it backwards. That is a novel technique for me. If done right, as you have done, it works. That is cool. Good job.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
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Surrounded by pits is the best defining of my writes. Yet comments like your encourage me to continue making revision of those works. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching thoughts.
Comment from Henry King
This poem requires the reader to think about which definition one, two, three, archaic or obsolete to use. I like the rhythm. It is a provocative piece. I would not read this for pleasure, but for discourse while sipping sherry or brandy; philosophic if you will.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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This poem requires the reader to think about which definition one, two, three, archaic or obsolete to use. I like the rhythm. It is a provocative piece. I would not read this for pleasure, but for discourse while sipping sherry or brandy; philosophic if you will.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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I will consider these views, at least try to see your proception of this write. Thanking you for your appreciated response and generous rate.
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Your welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Journey, written forward and backward, is a series of thoughts, not totally connecting for me, but seems to represent the struggle one faces each day with commitment, integrity, faith, and life's many uncertainties. Good stuff.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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This poem, The Journey, written forward and backward, is a series of thoughts, not totally connecting for me, but seems to represent the struggle one faces each day with commitment, integrity, faith, and life's many uncertainties. Good stuff.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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Your view of thus right was on point, revisions might be considered to bring out more clarity. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks we go to the destination by doing the right at right time, faith in God does not allow us to go opposite; thank you for sharing this with us. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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This speaks we go to the destination by doing the right at right time, faith in God does not allow us to go opposite; thank you for sharing this with us. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 26-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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Glad aspects of this write was found pleasing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and comforting comments,
