Mother's Journey Home
Prompt6 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
A well deserved win congratulations. This was a beautiful rictameter and a lovely image to compliment this poem. It is important to be there at the end and have done the same thing. cheers Christine
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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A well deserved win congratulations. This was a beautiful rictameter and a lovely image to compliment this poem. It is important to be there at the end and have done the same thing. cheers Christine
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much! That's very kind of you to say. Truly thank you. God bless.
Comment from danpald
Gentle words do come to play
With the wish to move on this way
So many hold on when it is time to move
Your Mother knows well you speak the truth
Now the form moves to unite
Another manner to hold in life
For the reality of one who moves on
Only confirms the faith we hold beyond
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Gentle words do come to play
With the wish to move on this way
So many hold on when it is time to move
Your Mother knows well you speak the truth
Now the form moves to unite
Another manner to hold in life
For the reality of one who moves on
Only confirms the faith we hold beyond
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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I love your reviews. Thank you so much Dan
Comment from JourneyHolm
This is an emotional poem. I am sorry you had to go through this in life. The journey home is the sweetest journey of them all, though.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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This is an emotional poem. I am sorry you had to go through this in life. The journey home is the sweetest journey of them all, though.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Oh you have almost the same name as the title!
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I know! I was wondering if you'd notice.
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:)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a spot on line and syllable count. You render a hauntingly moving piece about the loss of a loved one that cancer can bring. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a spot on line and syllable count. You render a hauntingly moving piece about the loss of a loved one that cancer can bring. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you! Your words mean a lot!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Mother's Journey Home, a nice rictameter poem about a dying mother. It is very sad and the picture enhances the emotions. Good luck with the contest, you have a good chance of winning.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Mother's Journey Home, a nice rictameter poem about a dying mother. It is very sad and the picture enhances the emotions. Good luck with the contest, you have a good chance of winning.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for reading. Really.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Revised Review
Okay - syllable count issue all fixed! We are left with a moving and effective piece.
First Review
The bad news is that you have added an extra one-syllable line at the beginning and end, making this ineligible for the contest. You could just remove the word 'Mom' from either end, but that would destroy the emotion and meaning of the poem so I'm afraid you will have to come up with another way of fixing this.
Apart from that, it's a lovely piece. Anyone who has been close to an ageing relative approaching death will recognize the conflicting emotions and also the sentiment expressed in the final lines.
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Revised Review
Okay - syllable count issue all fixed! We are left with a moving and effective piece.
First Review
The bad news is that you have added an extra one-syllable line at the beginning and end, making this ineligible for the contest. You could just remove the word 'Mom' from either end, but that would destroy the emotion and meaning of the poem so I'm afraid you will have to come up with another way of fixing this.
Apart from that, it's a lovely piece. Anyone who has been close to an ageing relative approaching death will recognize the conflicting emotions and also the sentiment expressed in the final lines.
Steve
Comment Written 05-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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You're my hero Steve! I did that out of habit. I didn't even catch it. I corrected it. Mind checking to see if it's correct now by chance?