Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This water themed haiku, farmer's plea for help, uses its seventeen syllables as a timely message about the drought that is changing the shape of the future economy of the US.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thank you Bill Schott for reading and reviewing my water haiku . Drought effects farmers everywhere as in America, Australia has many a farmer in dia straights with the never ending dry years it makes me sad when I read about their plight Much appreciate you comments Cheers Christine😀

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, chrissy, I enjoyed reading this haiku poem about the answered prayer that brought forth rain. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thank you sweetwoodjax for reading my entry and giving me a review with lovely comments. Drought is a terrible plight for the farmer everywhere ( my Dad was a dairy farmer and I know what drought can do he prayed for rain on many occasion) Cheers Christine😊

Comment from Janet7053

Good

It appears that no artwork was to accompany this haiku.

farmer is possessive so it needs to be farmer's plea or farmers' plea. A single farmer or farmers collectively.

Your choice of words in 'heaven opens up' is simplistic and could be looked at again for more powerful words or imagery.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

thank you Janet7053 I did have a lovely image to accompany this but took to off to meet the requirements, but also thank you for your comments and I will attend to the farmers appreciate your critique Cheers Christine😀

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a spot on line and syllable count. Your first two lines of imagery paint a somber picture of despair while the satori inspires new hope. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you for sharing it.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

Thank you so much Mystic Angel . I tried to meet the requirements and hope my reader like the words. Really appreciate you lovely comments Cheers Christine😊

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Christine...

_ Excellent haiku depicting the prompt perfectly.
_ A most realistic plea form a farmer as well.
_ Well illustrated with your artwork too.
_ Good luck in the contest.

>> plee should be spelled: plea

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

Thank you Jax I will change the plea . I was watching a program on T V and it highlighted the farmers plight on drought. We have lots of drought in Australia heartbreaking. Again thank you Cheers Christine😀

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-You have a good topic and message.
-I listed some of the requirements that need addressing to comply with the contest, as stated in the prompt:
1. no artwork
2. title must be the first line of poem (don't forget to change that)
3. 17 syllables or less +two lines of grammatically interconnected concrete imagery
4 minimal punctuation and capitalization

**You can correct this by revising as follows:
farmers plea for help
send water from above
Heavens open up

**When you make the adjustments and you follow the directions in the prompt, you will have a lovely poem. Make the changes as you see fit. When you do, you can edit before the contest is over, and save your work. Good luck!

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

Thank you respa1. As always appreciate your comments. And will see what I can do Cheers Christine😄

reply by Pam (respa) on 05-Jun-2015

You are very welcome for the comments.

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

First time I have seen the first line of a haiku be the title

When I read you good post I thought of California who need the heavens to open up.

Gert

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

Thank you Gert sherwood for reading and giving this a review. Yes I know Calafornia is a dry state and also bushfire prone . I Australia we have many areas of drought too it is heartbreaking. Fortunately wher I live is quite wet at the moment cheers Christine😃

reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Jun-2015

You are welcome
The same in Vermont where I live a moist state filled with growth

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Your message is read loud and clear. But I wonder if this truly qualifies as a haiku. Your last line (satori) offers no observation or reflection, but is a continuation of the thoughts from the previous lines.
I hope this is helpful.

Peace, Lee

I think you've improved your poem quite a bit.
But check the spelling of plea.
I'm glad you made some changes. L

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

Thank you hump whistle for you review of my haiku, I appreciate your helpful comments and I have revised this and changed some words. Being new to this style of writing I am still learning the rules and a little unsure if I meet the brief could you have another look and see if this revised version is ok Cheers and thank you Christine😊

reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks again for you help have also changed the plea Cheers Christine