Reviews from

The Ending Emote

For my Dad, who passed recently

78 total reviews 
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

For my Dad, who passed recently. The Ending Emote.' It is the most difficult feeling in the world to lose a loved one. Yet we are forever aware of that fact. But when it finally happens, it seems so unjust. My condolences. Well done in remembering your Dad.

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike
reply by chasennov on 01-Jun-2015
    You are most welcome.
Comment from livelylinda
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Mike: I am sorry to hear about the passing of your father. Your poem is simple but leaves us with many things of which to think and your father will be so very proud of you.

I'm your father's age and have a really bad heart. I've been told I would die within three months, six months, etc., but I am still here. However, what I do most is look at my children/grandchildren/great-grandson. I want them to be happy and on a good path through life. And, I spend many an hour reviewing my entire life. And, it seems that you understand all of this. You are a good son. God bless you! livelylinda

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike

    PS: May you stay lively, Linda ;-)
Comment from JourneyHolm
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very touching poem. There are many iotas of truth scattered throughout as loving memories and reflections of a great man. I found the insightfulness of the poem to be really resonating, especially those notions that dealt with the end of a life. If you want constructive criticism, I thought that the end lines broke away from the meter of the poem. Perhaps, "chaotic and calm" could be changed to something like, "of silly rhymes and funny faces, / chaotic and so calm" or "chaotic and of calm." As I write my suggestions, I know they aren't the answer. However, I think if you read it aloud you will understand what I mean. Regardless, this poem was excellent. It captured the love for this man as was intended. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike

    PS: Those are my only concern lines too. They arise because the missing syllable of the second line is the second syllable of 'faces' - reading aloud eliminates the issue, but I'm still not happy with it. I will be fiddling. Thank you!
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My condolences, Mike. To lose a parent is difficult--no matter the circumstances. But to be put on stage at such an emotional time is more than I could accomplish.
I find your poem, your tribute, exactly as accessible as I would expect. This is a simple tribute from a son to father. Within the family, we speak simply. No codes. Their is nothing to hide, or to obfuscate.

Speak from the heart, Mike.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike
reply by humpwhistle on 01-Jun-2015
    Understood, Mike. Do what you need to do.
    In a small way, I'm with you. L
Comment from TomyKan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A simple heartfelt tribute to your Dad, with good rhythm, rhyme and flow. It brings out some wonderful "nuggets" about your Dad. Thanks for sharing. Well done.

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike
Comment from sgalletti
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, so young Mike! I'm 68, so I could feel special empathy for you and your family. Cancer is wicked stuff! This is a lovely, simple, heartfelt poem for your father that appropriately calls on everyone to remember his humor and the special things about the man, and to encourage the show of emotions that is inevitable. You are right that this is very different for your writing, and it is also very appropriate for the occasion. My heartfelt sympathy to you and yours. Sue

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike

    PS: Thanks so much especially, Sue. I'm torn between being glad it was sudden rather than dragged out and feeling robbed of my remaining time with him. He was a gentle, very funny man. There don't seem to be many like him around :-)
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

These are the poems that make an old man tear up. When I think of things I'd like to share with him, but can't. The times I took him for granted, and now wish I'd hugged him to pieces.

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so sorry for your loss. Your father died very recently. You wrote this rhyming poem and your mother asked you to read it at the funeral. He was very young but a fight against cancer most of us loose.

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike
Comment from Ekim777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wisdom simply penned down and nobly put until they too drift into memory. How often do we challenge life and death and the blending of them together? How often do we ask the impossible question. There should be no answers because the present moment is our only reality.
-Ekim777

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike
Comment from Chris Tee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

First of all I offer my sincere condolences. This is an absolutely fitting poem to bring homage to your dad at his funeral. Great flow and also good rhyming. Just stay strong my friend. I say this with tears in my eyes.

 Comment Written 30-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
    All, apologies for the copy-and-paste reply. It's only because I've had so many beautiful, wonderful, touching replies to my poem and I have so very much to get done in the wake of my Dad's passing.

    You've helped me more than you can know and I'll be thinking about your encouraging comments when I read my poem aloud on Wednesday.

    Your words mean more than I can say, and I thank you deeply.

    Mike