Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "The PLots Thicken"All chapters
3 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good job! I like the story, it was easy to follow the plot. I really like this line: "They were polar opposites, like Laverne and Shirley, Bert and Ernie, innies and outies."
I didn't see anything to change, it is perfect the way it is.
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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Good job! I like the story, it was easy to follow the plot. I really like this line: "They were polar opposites, like Laverne and Shirley, Bert and Ernie, innies and outies."
I didn't see anything to change, it is perfect the way it is.
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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Rose
Thanks for reviewing chapter 11 of The Magic Title. It was very kind and generous of you to go back to a previous chapter.
I'm so glad you liked the examples of opposites. That was one of the things I wasn't sure about.
Your review was encouraging and complimentary.
Marv
Comment from Jay Squires
Very edgy and funny--smart fiction. I like it, Marvin.
The only feeling that I was sure of [I don't know why I spot these, but try to get rid of all unnecessary 'thats', like the one above. I don't know why they are so easy to fall into the habit of using, but I'm so bad at it, I put 'that' in my find/replace feature on Word and check out every one in my post. I usually get rid of about 20 percent of them.]
sorting through today's mail__mostly bills [I think you mean a double dash, not an underscore.]
I'm new to your posts, but if y ou don't mind I want to fan you so I can read more of your stuff.
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Very edgy and funny--smart fiction. I like it, Marvin.
The only feeling that I was sure of [I don't know why I spot these, but try to get rid of all unnecessary 'thats', like the one above. I don't know why they are so easy to fall into the habit of using, but I'm so bad at it, I put 'that' in my find/replace feature on Word and check out every one in my post. I usually get rid of about 20 percent of them.]
sorting through today's mail__mostly bills [I think you mean a double dash, not an underscore.]
I'm new to your posts, but if y ou don't mind I want to fan you so I can read more of your stuff.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Jay
Thanks for your great review.
I agree with you about the word, ?that.? I think many times ?that? and ?which? are interchangeable plus ?that? could often be eliminated, but I was too lazy to seek help. I replaced the double underscore with a coma. Is that correct?
I welcome you to read all my stuff, particularly the novel. Chapter 10 would help you catch up, if you don't have time to read them all.
Any suggestions or corrections are gratefully accepted. Welcome aboard. I appreciate your interest.
Marv
Comment from lancellot
I like the smooth conversation tone and the analogies seem to flow like water in a stream. Sorry, couldn't resist. What mean is that is perfect writing. well done.
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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I like the smooth conversation tone and the analogies seem to flow like water in a stream. Sorry, couldn't resist. What mean is that is perfect writing. well done.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Thank you for reviewing chapter 11. I'm glad you couldn't resist adding an analogy. Feel free to suggest an ?opposite? example.
I appreciate your kind words.
While I work on Chapter 12, please check out chapter 10.
Thanks again.
Marv
