my body
a senryu temple10 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is very clever - the body is often referred to as our temple. Tradition has us take off our shoes in those foreign places, the temples. and an amusing last line - something I insist on if I have just polished the floor. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2015
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This is very clever - the body is often referred to as our temple. Tradition has us take off our shoes in those foreign places, the temples. and an amusing last line - something I insist on if I have just polished the floor. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 22-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the review Dorothy, I thought the wax reference was funny, cheers j
Comment from Jackarrie
A different take on the prompt, yet it did ask to write something about your body, and the Budda at the door is belonging to you so I guess it is your body.
Good luck in the contest, Mary
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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A different take on the prompt, yet it did ask to write something about your body, and the Budda at the door is belonging to you so I guess it is your body.
Good luck in the contest, Mary
Comment Written 17-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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I was going with the body is a temple and the waxed is a double entendre. Thanks for the review, I appreciate your thoughts, cheers
Comment from gypsymoth
Obviously this guy is not from the U.S.A. He wouldn't be so happy.
They frown on fat and jolly here in this low pay and high carbs.
Gypsymoth
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Obviously this guy is not from the U.S.A. He wouldn't be so happy.
They frown on fat and jolly here in this low pay and high carbs.
Gypsymoth
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for the review gypsymoth
Comment from Mary H-W
Well done.
Funny, descriptive
makes me smile
follows rules of prompt
perfect accompanying picture
good luck with contest
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Well done.
Funny, descriptive
makes me smile
follows rules of prompt
perfect accompanying picture
good luck with contest
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for the concise review and good luck, Mary. Glad to make you smile,cheers
Comment from Nan Beeson
You wrote, "my temple. ..Shoes off at the door. . ." i just waxed.
This hilarious senryu tickled my funny bone. I laughed so hard I had to stop and catch my breath before continuing. You see, I am known to be very slow in catching on to jokes and the like, so when this one I UNDERSTOO IMMEDIATELY made me so proud, I just had to respond to it. Thank you for making the almost end of this day a most happy one.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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You wrote, "my temple. ..Shoes off at the door. . ." i just waxed.
This hilarious senryu tickled my funny bone. I laughed so hard I had to stop and catch my breath before continuing. You see, I am known to be very slow in catching on to jokes and the like, so when this one I UNDERSTOO IMMEDIATELY made me so proud, I just had to respond to it. Thank you for making the almost end of this day a most happy one.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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What a wonderful response Nan. I am so happy it made you laugh. Thanks for the encouraging review, cheers
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I do not know how to reply to this. It is a copy of my review. Please clarify.
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oooops, did I press the wrong button? I wrote back that I was glad that you found the senryu funny and thanks for the encouraging review. I hope that the other reviews went out. sorry about that,
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Ha! Join the club! LOL!
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I do not know how to reply to this. It is a copy of my review. Please clarify.
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Ha! Join the club! LOL!
Comment from Tatarka2
I thought this wwas so unique. It's funny, and it catches the reader's attention. I can't think of a thing I would suggest you change. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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I thought this wwas so unique. It's funny, and it catches the reader's attention. I can't think of a thing I would suggest you change. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for the encouraging review Tatarka.I appreciate your thoughts on this, cheers
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Picture shows Budda statue. Author makes a very valid point of not having to wear shoes is a blessing whether floor just waxed or not.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Picture shows Budda statue. Author makes a very valid point of not having to wear shoes is a blessing whether floor just waxed or not.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for the review Brett, the waxing has a double entendre, cheers
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent 3-5-3 senyru (11 syllables)
First two lines appear connected
Third line is great human reaction comment
Excellent picture to poem match, even the budda is laughing
well done
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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This is an excellent 3-5-3 senyru (11 syllables)
First two lines appear connected
Third line is great human reaction comment
Excellent picture to poem match, even the budda is laughing
well done
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for the concise and encouraging review rspoet. It was a fun write, cheers j
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ha-ha!
Well, this could certainly be interpreted a couple of different ways, Anonymous Author. The first line is concrete, set in stone. Our bodies are indeed the temples of our souls. Whatever we take into them either defiles that temple, or enhances its potential.
The next interconnecting line brings to mind the custom in Japan, and a few other countries, of removing one's shoes prior to entering a dwelling.
The last line...now there's the kicker. An excellent satori, which could refer to the waxing of the temple building, or, the waxing of the temple-body.
Whichever meaning was intended, it all comes together to make for a spectacular, well written senryu.
Good luck in the contest. :)
~Dean
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Ha-ha!
Well, this could certainly be interpreted a couple of different ways, Anonymous Author. The first line is concrete, set in stone. Our bodies are indeed the temples of our souls. Whatever we take into them either defiles that temple, or enhances its potential.
The next interconnecting line brings to mind the custom in Japan, and a few other countries, of removing one's shoes prior to entering a dwelling.
The last line...now there's the kicker. An excellent satori, which could refer to the waxing of the temple building, or, the waxing of the temple-body.
Whichever meaning was intended, it all comes together to make for a spectacular, well written senryu.
Good luck in the contest. :)
~Dean
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Ahhh Dean, I love your reviews and your take on them. I thought I was pretty clever with that one. Thanks, I appreciate you, cheers
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It was entirely my pleasure. Anytime... :)
Comment from Sis Cat
What can I say? Your senryu made me smile and reminded me of the time I had to take my shoes off because I entered a house with waxed wooden floors, but I was embarrassed because I had holes in my socks. Your poem shows humor and fastidiousness of a person who does not want marked up floors. Thank you for sharing and I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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What can I say? Your senryu made me smile and reminded me of the time I had to take my shoes off because I entered a house with waxed wooden floors, but I was embarrassed because I had holes in my socks. Your poem shows humor and fastidiousness of a person who does not want marked up floors. Thank you for sharing and I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks for your review. It is actually funny because I am not that kind of girl to wax, floors or otherwise. I live pretty rough in a log cabin but I could see the humour in that double entendre, cheers j