Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Close Season"Poems about the coastline
26 total reviews
Comment from pipersfancy
Beautiful - I'm so glad the audio player worked out and allowed you to post this. There is such sadness in this piece, abandonment, loneliness... yes, the off-season seaside resort is perhaps the saddest place to be. Your voice captures and conveys the emotions beautifully! It actually takes me back to my childhood... winter nights spent with my dad in his woodworking shop... the smell of sawdust, the sound of the Rovers, or Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem playing on his small radio/tape player. My dad was fond of Celtic music, and I'm glad to have learned that love through him.
Now, I know to watch for more recordings from you...
Christina
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Beautiful - I'm so glad the audio player worked out and allowed you to post this. There is such sadness in this piece, abandonment, loneliness... yes, the off-season seaside resort is perhaps the saddest place to be. Your voice captures and conveys the emotions beautifully! It actually takes me back to my childhood... winter nights spent with my dad in his woodworking shop... the smell of sawdust, the sound of the Rovers, or Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem playing on his small radio/tape player. My dad was fond of Celtic music, and I'm glad to have learned that love through him.
Now, I know to watch for more recordings from you...
Christina
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Thank you so much for this. YOu already did me a great favout by leading me through the chirbit maze. This was so unexpected. Thank you again
Comment from watergirl
Beautiful and descriptive poem. It reaches further into us though than being purely superficial. It is easy to feel the nature of the place and the mood of the people. Great. We can imagine the past activity and tone of this place. Like a good painting. Lovely.
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Beautiful and descriptive poem. It reaches further into us though than being purely superficial. It is easy to feel the nature of the place and the mood of the people. Great. We can imagine the past activity and tone of this place. Like a good painting. Lovely.
Comment Written 22-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Thank you so much for these lovely comment and for reviewing this, which has earned you very little money at this stage.
Comment from jlsavell
Pantygynt, I read this twice to get the feel and the flow of this marvelous work. Each stanza so perfectly place, not competing for attention but working in harmony of its message.. well done.. jlsavell
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Pantygynt, I read this twice to get the feel and the flow of this marvelous work. Each stanza so perfectly place, not competing for attention but working in harmony of its message.. well done.. jlsavell
Comment Written 18-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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You have the most compelling way of expressing yourself in this review and I am most grateful for it.
Comment from alf collier
Hi Pantygynt. I could hear this as a song!! As I read it the first time, I had a sense of the natural lilt in the words, but after reading the author notes, I realize why I felt that. great write, great read, alf
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Hi Pantygynt. I could hear this as a song!! As I read it the first time, I had a sense of the natural lilt in the words, but after reading the author notes, I realize why I felt that. great write, great read, alf
Comment Written 18-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Thanks fot this sympathetic review. Glad it resonated with you.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. You are an outstanding and very creative poet. This is another wonderfully penned piece about the seasonal changes and the lives on the seaside towns. The rhyming and rhythm were spot on as they always are. So you write music also, crikey, how good is that. I wish I could. cheers Fez
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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G'day mate. You are an outstanding and very creative poet. This is another wonderfully penned piece about the seasonal changes and the lives on the seaside towns. The rhyming and rhythm were spot on as they always are. So you write music also, crikey, how good is that. I wish I could. cheers Fez
Comment Written 18-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Thanks Fex for another great review. I had a chance when reviewing a friends of yours' (collaborative poetry We could call it) to try and take off your style. I did it very badly. I did however manage to apologize in your usual way for the absence of meter - ask her aabout it.
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Hahaha! Yes I had a look at it, you are a classic mate.
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I just hoped you weren't offended by my gentle piss take!
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LOL. I've been running around with this ugly head on my shoulders for over half a century and it takes a lot to offend me mate. I love your humor, bring it on, no offense taken whatsoever.
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Thank god for that. You don't look like the sort of bloke I'd want to run into on a dark night - unless I happened to be lost in the outback!
Comment from benoenose
Seasonal changes of the work force is underneath the sound of the poem. Expressing this unique style promotes the work of nature and the strive to live with challenges of seasonal changes. Recommended for all those love nature and for encouraging the work force to go beyond challenges.
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Seasonal changes of the work force is underneath the sound of the poem. Expressing this unique style promotes the work of nature and the strive to live with challenges of seasonal changes. Recommended for all those love nature and for encouraging the work force to go beyond challenges.
Comment Written 17-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Thank you once again for a review showing a sound appreciation for what I am trying to achieve. And also for the six stars.
Comment from Chrissy710
I loved this as I am a child of many summers and look forward to the warm Rays of Sun ( I am also an avid sun baker and spend many an hour lying in the sun on my deck in the back yard the browner I get the better I feel ) so this poem makes want to stay in bed under the warm covers. I loved the grey scale and really added the impact to a really well written verse and straight away new it deserved exceptional . Than you for that
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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I loved this as I am a child of many summers and look forward to the warm Rays of Sun ( I am also an avid sun baker and spend many an hour lying in the sun on my deck in the back yard the browner I get the better I feel ) so this poem makes want to stay in bed under the warm covers. I loved the grey scale and really added the impact to a really well written verse and straight away new it deserved exceptional . Than you for that
Comment Written 17-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Thank so much for the six pack and a review showing your appreciation for this.
Comment from kiwijenny
The sky is grey, and dirty are the puddles 'neath my feet;
The pavement wet, and muddy is the gutter of the street;
The morning chill is dismal and the wind howls mournfully,
And out beyond the breakwater, the crashing of the sea.
The Ferris wheel stands idle, for the year has now outgrown
The fairground's lusty pleasure for a grey world all its own.
It's grey in the winter..it's going to brighten only in the summer
God bless
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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The sky is grey, and dirty are the puddles 'neath my feet;
The pavement wet, and muddy is the gutter of the street;
The morning chill is dismal and the wind howls mournfully,
And out beyond the breakwater, the crashing of the sea.
The Ferris wheel stands idle, for the year has now outgrown
The fairground's lusty pleasure for a grey world all its own.
It's grey in the winter..it's going to brighten only in the summer
God bless
Comment Written 17-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Well we all hope so. Many thanks for your review, Jenny
Comment from Brett Matthew West
I like this as a poem. It paints a very clear message that there is a silver lining behind every cloud. Something many people would do well to remember. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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I like this as a poem. It paints a very clear message that there is a silver lining behind every cloud. Something many people would do well to remember. Well done.
Comment Written 17-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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thank you for pick ing that out in you generous review.
Comment from I am Cat
Oh... I have waited for how many days to review this poem. (i've not waited for any poem on this site, but this one, to do this... to bestow the SIX... had I the ability to bestow a grander prize, i would.
and NOT, my dear gynt because of who you are...
but in spite of it...
I feel compelled, the more i read it... the more i love it.
The more I love it, the more i am sure of it's place in history..
I know that you may poo-poo my review, because we have become friends...
sadly, I believe that... But please, I beg you not to.
I, of all people, on this site, or anywhere else, know you.
Inside you... and know the depth of your poetry.
I've read EVERYTHING you have posted on here.. .and then some.
and i know this. THIS poem, lyric, whatever you wish to call it.
Has a melancholy all its own... has a life, all its own...
The depth of true feelings in this poem... though written about winter, also speaks of youth, of love, of feast or famine... and i see that...
I'm here to tell you... this poem will be the one with its head above water...
and so, my thoughts of it are:
'The seaside town lies sleeping in a restless, troubled sleep,
Clutching at its covers, as the skies above it weep. '
(how lovely, this image of the city as a whole... sleeping contently
in its bed... covers around its chin as it rains outside)
'The faces of the people they seem empty, lifeless, grey;
Bending to the weather, each makes his private way,'
(a resemblance is seen with each and every person huddling close
to their own private thoughts... inside themselves, their lives dismal, grey...
the weather outside, where they walk... mirroring their existence... brilliant!)
'Twelve months aged in six months living; they spend half the year alone; '
(this one punched me right in the gut. as my life is this. This is the culmination of my married life... Him away, for at least 60% of the time... me, waiting, wasting so much of it... when I should be touching brilliance, creating a legacy... instead...alone)
'They are children in the summer, in the winter months, old age;'
ah... so true as the summer sun heats their bodies... warming them to a youthful glow... then the winter descends... bringing cold arthritic bones... stiffening them to age right before their own eyes... )
'The winter is the backstage in the theatre of their lives,
The pasteboard and the greasepaint, where the showman's spirit thrives.
As the bright lights of the foyer need the stage door's duller tone,
So behind each summer's glory lies a grey world all their own. '
(the depth of these lines is so prophetic, so profound... darkness needing light,
good needing evil, up needing down, in needing out, rich needing poor, young needing old... i could go on and on... but what it is is that polar opposites attract... and how could we, or anyone know or feel or appreciate how life is amazing, were it not for the complete opposites which attract and hit us full in the face?
white and black... dull and bright... spectacular)
the only thing i had a question about...:
'The sky is grey, and dirty are the puddles 'neath my feet;
The pavement wet, and muddy is the gutter of the street;'
(I wondered at the use of puddles, yet not gutters... and so upon re-reading, i wondered at the change of: "...and muddy are the gutters of the streets")
or, are we on ONE particular street?
also... please consider:
(you must know you had me at hello)
Caat
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Oh... I have waited for how many days to review this poem. (i've not waited for any poem on this site, but this one, to do this... to bestow the SIX... had I the ability to bestow a grander prize, i would.
and NOT, my dear gynt because of who you are...
but in spite of it...
I feel compelled, the more i read it... the more i love it.
The more I love it, the more i am sure of it's place in history..
I know that you may poo-poo my review, because we have become friends...
sadly, I believe that... But please, I beg you not to.
I, of all people, on this site, or anywhere else, know you.
Inside you... and know the depth of your poetry.
I've read EVERYTHING you have posted on here.. .and then some.
and i know this. THIS poem, lyric, whatever you wish to call it.
Has a melancholy all its own... has a life, all its own...
The depth of true feelings in this poem... though written about winter, also speaks of youth, of love, of feast or famine... and i see that...
I'm here to tell you... this poem will be the one with its head above water...
and so, my thoughts of it are:
'The seaside town lies sleeping in a restless, troubled sleep,
Clutching at its covers, as the skies above it weep. '
(how lovely, this image of the city as a whole... sleeping contently
in its bed... covers around its chin as it rains outside)
'The faces of the people they seem empty, lifeless, grey;
Bending to the weather, each makes his private way,'
(a resemblance is seen with each and every person huddling close
to their own private thoughts... inside themselves, their lives dismal, grey...
the weather outside, where they walk... mirroring their existence... brilliant!)
'Twelve months aged in six months living; they spend half the year alone; '
(this one punched me right in the gut. as my life is this. This is the culmination of my married life... Him away, for at least 60% of the time... me, waiting, wasting so much of it... when I should be touching brilliance, creating a legacy... instead...alone)
'They are children in the summer, in the winter months, old age;'
ah... so true as the summer sun heats their bodies... warming them to a youthful glow... then the winter descends... bringing cold arthritic bones... stiffening them to age right before their own eyes... )
'The winter is the backstage in the theatre of their lives,
The pasteboard and the greasepaint, where the showman's spirit thrives.
As the bright lights of the foyer need the stage door's duller tone,
So behind each summer's glory lies a grey world all their own. '
(the depth of these lines is so prophetic, so profound... darkness needing light,
good needing evil, up needing down, in needing out, rich needing poor, young needing old... i could go on and on... but what it is is that polar opposites attract... and how could we, or anyone know or feel or appreciate how life is amazing, were it not for the complete opposites which attract and hit us full in the face?
white and black... dull and bright... spectacular)
the only thing i had a question about...:
'The sky is grey, and dirty are the puddles 'neath my feet;
The pavement wet, and muddy is the gutter of the street;'
(I wondered at the use of puddles, yet not gutters... and so upon re-reading, i wondered at the change of: "...and muddy are the gutters of the streets")
or, are we on ONE particular street?
also... please consider:
(you must know you had me at hello)
Caat
Comment Written 17-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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This is almost certainly the finest review I have received of any poem I have i ave written. I don't just mean it is complimentary, which it is, but it offers positive in depth criticism that relates comments to particular passages. As for the puddles and gutter bit you had me wondering why I hadn't pluralised the gutter. There are I think two reasons and I have to say they are both post rationalisations of a subconscious action taken nearly 50 years ago when the poem was written. I did have Portsmouth in mind. It was where I was stationed in the RM at the time and Billy Manning's funfare with its ferris wheel could be seen from the Eastny Barracks. So there was a particular street in mind but consider this. As you walk down a street there are puddles all over the place and although the street has a gutter on either side you are actually only aware of the one gutter on the side on which you are walking.
Very many thanks for this review, which deserves a nomination which it will get if I have one available. I'm not sure when their month runs from/to.
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Thank you dear gynt, you are more than kind to say so...
I understand the singularity of the gutter...
it's a brilliant piece of work.
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Quite right to point this out though.