Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Fat Ass"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
18 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
good job, but I did find it offensive.
poem:
-good rhythm
-action flows smoothly
-descriptive language used
-goodformat and picture
-good character development
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
  |
good job, but I did find it offensive.
poem:
-good rhythm
-action flows smoothly
-descriptive language used
-goodformat and picture
-good character development
Comment Written 13-May-2015
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
-
Thanks for your comments, but if you found it offensive you read too much into it.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Far be it from me to shoot arrows at anyone writing pretty much anything, but you should be protected by the fact that a piece is not supposed to be judged on content anyway.
I'll say this about content - personally, I find it rather sad that someone with a weight problem is so often the brunt of jokes.
Now on to the writing itself - I thought the prose before the poem was excellent.
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
|
Far be it from me to shoot arrows at anyone writing pretty much anything, but you should be protected by the fact that a piece is not supposed to be judged on content anyway.
I'll say this about content - personally, I find it rather sad that someone with a weight problem is so often the brunt of jokes.
Now on to the writing itself - I thought the prose before the poem was excellent.
Comment Written 13-May-2015
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
-
You took this piece way too seriously then.
Comment from amahra
The rhyming was good, not forced. I'm not sure if it fits the requirements of the contest, since an eating disorder is no laughing matter. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm. But people actually die from their addiction to food. I didn't find it funny since I lost my mom to obesity. Sorry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
 |
The rhyming was good, not forced. I'm not sure if it fits the requirements of the contest, since an eating disorder is no laughing matter. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm. But people actually die from their addiction to food. I didn't find it funny since I lost my mom to obesity. Sorry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
-
You took it way too seriously then.
Comment from Curly Girly
It is shocking how some people let themselves go. I've put on weight as I've aged, it's not easy to get off. But some really do over-eat, and they make poor food choices. The best part:
Feeding your fat face.
Once had a lover but she needed space
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
|
It is shocking how some people let themselves go. I've put on weight as I've aged, it's not easy to get off. But some really do over-eat, and they make poor food choices. The best part:
Feeding your fat face.
Once had a lover but she needed space
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
-
As long as we can laugh at this and not take it too seriously I guess we are doing okay. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from royowen
I rather liked your easy reading, hilarious work, I can see where people might be offended by this, but I don't think you meant it personally, or it was aimed at anyone in particular! Well done, well written, the narrative was well told, but brave, well done, good luck in the contest, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
|
I rather liked your easy reading, hilarious work, I can see where people might be offended by this, but I don't think you meant it personally, or it was aimed at anyone in particular! Well done, well written, the narrative was well told, but brave, well done, good luck in the contest, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
-
Thank you very much. Always good to hear from you Roy. Your comments are so welcome here.
-
My pleasure.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I see the dark humor in this. Sure, it's a bit sophomoric, a little biting and sarcastic. But it's meant to be, and you did warn your potential readers. So, what could anyone expect? Yet anyone who can help it and still eats their way to an early grave is no better than the two pack-a-day smoker, or an alcoholic. Many times, they also need help but forgo the offers of others to help them lose weight. They'd much rather binge on Doritos, twinkies, chips and soda pop.
I hope people see this for what it is and don't start blasting away at you for it.
They have been warned, sure. But the allure to earn that funny money from highly promoted works is often too tempting for them to pass on, and they'll let you have it regardless.
Best of luck to you in the contest. ~Dean
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
|
I see the dark humor in this. Sure, it's a bit sophomoric, a little biting and sarcastic. But it's meant to be, and you did warn your potential readers. So, what could anyone expect? Yet anyone who can help it and still eats their way to an early grave is no better than the two pack-a-day smoker, or an alcoholic. Many times, they also need help but forgo the offers of others to help them lose weight. They'd much rather binge on Doritos, twinkies, chips and soda pop.
I hope people see this for what it is and don't start blasting away at you for it.
They have been warned, sure. But the allure to earn that funny money from highly promoted works is often too tempting for them to pass on, and they'll let you have it regardless.
Best of luck to you in the contest. ~Dean
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
-
Dean, I always enjoy hearing from you, and if people want to blast away I am a Country music Songwriter. Can't get much more criticized for your efforts than that. I wrote this solely for the humor of it, and if people can't laugh a little bit that is their problem, my friend, not mine. Appreciate your comments.
-
Well, I write horror stories for a living, so I'm kinda used to it myself, heh-heh... Your very welcome, BMW... ;)
Comment from Lesley Collier
A very witty and numerous poem about overweight people who cannot control their gluttony and make it hard for other people to live with.
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
|
A very witty and numerous poem about overweight people who cannot control their gluttony and make it hard for other people to live with.
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
-
As long as it makes people laugh. That is my only intention with it. Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is funny. Yes, it can be read as being mean but I don't think that was your intention. I don't know if this fits the prompt so much - rather the opposite - but overall very funny.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
|
This is funny. Yes, it can be read as being mean but I don't think that was your intention. I don't know if this fits the prompt so much - rather the opposite - but overall very funny.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
-
I hope it fits the prompt. They said make people laugh and that is it's only intention. Thanks for your comments and support.
