Comment from olliebuster

Excellent

This story is a journey. A sad, pitiful one. It is slavery all over again. It is about human beings owning other human beings. What has always surprised me is why can't adults who are fed up and disillusioned get up and walk away. There is talk of leaving the children behind, but the longer you remain there will be more children to leave behind. It is bewildering, but I think that not only are the bodies of cult members stolen, but their minds are as well. When some else does your thinking for you, then it is the end. A good account. A bewildering tale. Olliebuster.

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you.
As many of my family awake from the mist, they including myself ask "How was I so blind," but our individual desire to believe covers things we do not want to see.

Many people having lived blind to many worldly things are almost incapable of becoming independent.

I think it is called "Stockholm symptom".

The good thing is that the practice has been exposed, the man I talk of is in prison and will die there.

Many of these people live what they believe without hurting others and giving choices to others.

Always there are "Bad Apples".

reply by olliebuster on 15-May-2015

Thank you for your added explanations. At least there was some justice. I enjoyed your writing. Olliebuster.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent story, I married a Mormon and I joined the religion for a while but my in-tuition made me realize how wrong was the religion for me. I left and I believe in God, I just could not believe the religion.

Very well expressed, nice job!

-action flows smoothly
-descriptive language used
-excellent format (I saw a little mistake > Comma instead of period on the line.... (,) This I have experienced....)
-excellent character development
-held my interest all the way to the end

Write on!

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 12-May-2015

you are welcome

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Coral. I hope you are well mate. I am very far behind in my reviewing as you can see and I am sorry about that. A belated happy mothers day my friend. This is a very powerful and emotional story/chapter. Your story needs to be told and when I get my book published I will recomend you to and editor from the publisher and we'll try and get it out there for you, it needs to be told and you are a brave girl for doing it and I am proud of you.

A few little suggestions for you to consider....

"Only then can you judge me". (contain the period within the comas (.")"

"he re wrote(re-wrote) their reading assignments,"

""Do not look at your naked bodies When(when) you are bathing".(.")"

"Celestial Marriage", meaning a man was supposed to take at least three wives to reach(the "Celestial Kingdom") it(-it) after death."

"I could endure not seeing them if I know(knew) they are(were) safe and happy."

"This happens many(in) ways, sometimes the husband is disowned because he had bad thoughts or The(the) woman is rejected because she had a mis-carriage(miscarriage), "

"many women suffer violent abuse both physical and emotional,(. Period) This I have experienced first hand."

" In many ways the children struggled as well(,) three of my children married by appointment."

"Mortgages, taxes, health care(,) all(these things) I had learned not to ask questions about."

" showing my children how I wish I had treated them, My(my) grand-children"

" I was not good enough to have a man all(-all) (+of) my own."

Cheers and peace my dear friend, Fez

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

I always look for your replies first, Really I should pay you for the things you have TRIED to teach me.

My life has been much better than so many. I tell of things that I watched, most I did not experience personally.
Also I skirt around the now, because I have seven children plus seven children from my sister's that once called me mom.
It is important to avoid telling truths they do not want to hear. Sometimes even when violence is used to control, it can stop and an angry mean man becomes a sad little old man trying to make up for some things. I do not want to deny my children of this.

I helped with the children, family and a husband whom was motivated; to create an extremely successful business, it is world wide and my x is at least a millionaire times over. I divorced him long ago and let him take advantage of my un-education, by leaving me with less than some feel I earned. But I have plenty and seeing how you provide for so many and your struggles, I am ashamed.

In my family we have doctors, nurses, dentist's even vice presidents of the company. My children and grand children are becoming educated and all have children that we spend more providing fun and snacks-for them while they think they are living without, than your entire family (I assume.)

I hope you are close to publishing, It should be before now. I wish I could do something to help.
Is it possible for you to give me a mailing address where on occasion I could mail you something?

I feel I am invading your privacy to ask, so will understand if not.

I have exposed my information more to you than anyone on Fan-Story. Sorry!

Comment from Fridayauthor

Excellent

This is an interesting piece showing a life situation where few of us posses any direct knowledge.

While it's only a personal opinion, it seems the problem with a number of religions rests with its "employees" more than the religion itself.

The writing could use some tightening and editing.
There was a number of instances of words capitalized in the middle of sentences. I'm not sure why...

Thank you.

 Comment Written 10-May-2015

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reply by the author on 10-May-2015

I have finished the story but have many mistakes to fix, I am so sorry to waste your time.
I released this accidentally, so it was really bad.