Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Silence"Dawn of Chaos
34 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
I must admit you proven you can spell the word, "Silence." LOL. In the great outdoors, silence can be deafening. This is very well written with an interesing flow of words.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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I must admit you proven you can spell the word, "Silence." LOL. In the great outdoors, silence can be deafening. This is very well written with an interesing flow of words.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed encouragement about this write. Glad you found it pleasing.
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You're welcome, TP. Charlie
Comment from nancyrabbrose
You have written a very profound poem. I have heard that "God" is in the silence between the breaths. Since then I have been intrigued with the essence of silence. Good for you. Your spiritual poem has enlightened my morning.
A few corrections:
hyphenate walking time companion
perhaps an apostrophe on silence before "silence's stern eye"
Wow!! I love the line "silence sleeping without a snore on existing awe"
This is an excellent poem.
either "aloud or out loud", not "out aloud"
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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You have written a very profound poem. I have heard that "God" is in the silence between the breaths. Since then I have been intrigued with the essence of silence. Good for you. Your spiritual poem has enlightened my morning.
A few corrections:
hyphenate walking time companion
perhaps an apostrophe on silence before "silence's stern eye"
Wow!! I love the line "silence sleeping without a snore on existing awe"
This is an excellent poem.
either "aloud or out loud", not "out aloud"
Comment Written 13-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Thanking you for over generous rate and I will look into those pits mentioned best of the day to you. Appreciate your welcomed comments.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
WOW! "Silence" had lots to say. I thought your observations eloquently penned and quite provocative. Many fear silence as to be alone with one's own thoughts requires courage - you express this beautifully throughout. Well done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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WOW! "Silence" had lots to say. I thought your observations eloquently penned and quite provocative. Many fear silence as to be alone with one's own thoughts requires courage - you express this beautifully throughout. Well done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Glad these thoughts about silence found some appeal. Thanking you for generous rate and charming thoughts.
Comment from Ricky1024
Little long for my taste but well-written know this piece called silence by the writer audible jacket content and object to content we're appropriately viewed as long as good as well as the grammar of abilities of the writer nice piece Thank You Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Little long for my taste but well-written know this piece called silence by the writer audible jacket content and object to content we're appropriately viewed as long as good as well as the grammar of abilities of the writer nice piece Thank You Ricky 1024
Comment Written 31-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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I like your fast thought conveyances and glad you found some interest in this write although long. Thanking you for generous rate and inspiring thoughts.
Comment from TallySally
Tpac, the guts of this are remarkable. Profound even. All of it makes sense to me, but some of the verses did make my eyes and brain stumble - and that pains me because your point was eventually understood, I think, and soul-deep clear. Reading a poem is so subjective - I still feel weird offering suggestions, but the parts that sing make me soar. Those stumbles were mostly over word order or numbers of words in a line. Felt the thought, if I understood your intent correctly, could be pared down or words reordered to do justice to your distilled point.
A few of those soaring verses:
'Silence leaping above rooftops' verse
'Silence loving damp basements' verse
'All alone silence quietly breathing' verse
'Silently silent strings tingling' verse
And others.
How can I give this a four? I'm really conflicted. Selfish I guess. Probably not reasonable for me to want modified/more.
Take with a grain of salt, friend. I'd share this with my closest friends - only them as they can understand this.
Really good work.
Relda
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Tpac, the guts of this are remarkable. Profound even. All of it makes sense to me, but some of the verses did make my eyes and brain stumble - and that pains me because your point was eventually understood, I think, and soul-deep clear. Reading a poem is so subjective - I still feel weird offering suggestions, but the parts that sing make me soar. Those stumbles were mostly over word order or numbers of words in a line. Felt the thought, if I understood your intent correctly, could be pared down or words reordered to do justice to your distilled point.
A few of those soaring verses:
'Silence leaping above rooftops' verse
'Silence loving damp basements' verse
'All alone silence quietly breathing' verse
'Silently silent strings tingling' verse
And others.
How can I give this a four? I'm really conflicted. Selfish I guess. Probably not reasonable for me to want modified/more.
Take with a grain of salt, friend. I'd share this with my closest friends - only them as they can understand this.
Really good work.
Relda
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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No problem my works before FS merited two stars, never feel you have offended when in heart you know you are right. I will see. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed insights.
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Just stay in YOUR voice .. no matter what I or anyone else says.
Relda
Comment from AnnaLinda
TPAC,
I consider myself in the right place to have had the opportunity to read your
"Silence"...No sound. It surely gave me a lot to think about and I think
I could spend an entire day or many days going over your lines and the
thoughts within them. There's a lot to digest here. It appears you are a brilliant person with great insight and depth.
Thank you for sharing it. I think you have one typo: "having they no voice to speck." I think you mean speak. Anyway, this is really a special piece you have written.
Thank you,
Linda
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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TPAC,
I consider myself in the right place to have had the opportunity to read your
"Silence"...No sound. It surely gave me a lot to think about and I think
I could spend an entire day or many days going over your lines and the
thoughts within them. There's a lot to digest here. It appears you are a brilliant person with great insight and depth.
Thank you for sharing it. I think you have one typo: "having they no voice to speck." I think you mean speak. Anyway, this is really a special piece you have written.
Thank you,
Linda
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Thanking you for your thoughts and welcomed encouragement with generous rate. Glad your basket was filled. As for me dumb and old or vise versa. Have a good day.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording to talk about silence. You used very good imagery as well. Great job you have done. hugs,Teri
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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This is a very interesting poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording to talk about silence. You used very good imagery as well. Great job you have done. hugs,Teri
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Glad some points in this work pleased. Thanking you for thoughtful encouragement and too generous rate.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
You have an interesting and unique style. You did a pretty good job but the sentence's structure needs some help. For example, in the sentence your wrote....
"....Nothing else for me to say
knowing it is not right
to pass to others
our to do responsibilities."
[There is nothing else to say, I know it is not right to pass on our responsibilities to others.]
I stand there in waits
never to hear
something outside my breathing
a respond back to me.
[I stand there waiting and I can't hear anything else besides my breathing, I don't hear a response.]
"There is no sign
given by silence
I heard no hush
I know no sound. [Silence doesn't respond, I can't hear a hush or a sound.]
In your author notes, you have being quite, it should be-being quiet.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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Hello :)
You have an interesting and unique style. You did a pretty good job but the sentence's structure needs some help. For example, in the sentence your wrote....
"....Nothing else for me to say
knowing it is not right
to pass to others
our to do responsibilities."
[There is nothing else to say, I know it is not right to pass on our responsibilities to others.]
I stand there in waits
never to hear
something outside my breathing
a respond back to me.
[I stand there waiting and I can't hear anything else besides my breathing, I don't hear a response.]
"There is no sign
given by silence
I heard no hush
I know no sound. [Silence doesn't respond, I can't hear a hush or a sound.]
In your author notes, you have being quite, it should be-being quiet.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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You're right and probable other flaws. Thanking you for generous rate and suggestive appreciated inputs, will consider sound shout out.
Comment from anabellapongasi
I love silence! I have written a few poems about it too. And I really love what you have written here about silence in free verse form. I like your approach to the topic. Great use of personification and metaphor. I like the idea that silence is omnipresent, watching, waiting, listening and it speaks too. Wonderful piece. I would have given this a six but I have none left. Great write.
Blessings,
Anabella
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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I love silence! I have written a few poems about it too. And I really love what you have written here about silence in free verse form. I like your approach to the topic. Great use of personification and metaphor. I like the idea that silence is omnipresent, watching, waiting, listening and it speaks too. Wonderful piece. I would have given this a six but I have none left. Great write.
Blessings,
Anabella
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Its the thought which counts. Glad you enjoyed this work. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating thoughts.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is excellent. I like how you wrote it. Usually I prefer poems in stanza but this had a stream of conscious feel that I really enjoyed. The descriptions are powerful and the poem powerful. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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This is excellent. I like how you wrote it. Usually I prefer poems in stanza but this had a stream of conscious feel that I really enjoyed. The descriptions are powerful and the poem powerful. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Coming from you well appreciated still struggling but words of encouragement greatly felt. Thanking you for generous rate and opinion.
