Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Silence"Dawn of Chaos
34 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Dear TPac. Hello. I see that you are learning English, so what is your first language? You've actually done an amazing job with this lovely poem. I remember when I undertook to learn Mandarin that didn't turn out very well. LOL. So good on you. I admire your spirit and courage.
My first observation is your prosody and your layout. The text is very small and difficult to read for those of us with older eyes. So perhaps next post, change the line lengths and use a size 20 Helvetica font or something like that.
The size of the poem is a little long too, for the FanStory group so I can be presented in four different posts.
You have an excellent observations and thoughts
raw silence's ear captures changing evolution, great thought,
silence grips emotions --
surge insights dreams to us
probabilities. Love it.
Wonderful to read your ideas. Silence is like the God particle that holds matter together. Silence gives shape and form to music, speech and sounds.
Thank you for sharing. I really quite enjoyed this.
Gloria
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Dear TPac. Hello. I see that you are learning English, so what is your first language? You've actually done an amazing job with this lovely poem. I remember when I undertook to learn Mandarin that didn't turn out very well. LOL. So good on you. I admire your spirit and courage.
My first observation is your prosody and your layout. The text is very small and difficult to read for those of us with older eyes. So perhaps next post, change the line lengths and use a size 20 Helvetica font or something like that.
The size of the poem is a little long too, for the FanStory group so I can be presented in four different posts.
You have an excellent observations and thoughts
raw silence's ear captures changing evolution, great thought,
silence grips emotions --
surge insights dreams to us
probabilities. Love it.
Wonderful to read your ideas. Silence is like the God particle that holds matter together. Silence gives shape and form to music, speech and sounds.
Thank you for sharing. I really quite enjoyed this.
Gloria
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Many wonderful comments expressed all welcomed. First language is Spirit and then English: plus three years Spanish. I will consider your views and seek revisions. Personally I feel a loss by properly expressing things this way: perhaps none is able to understand the Bible. Even in English. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
Comment from brownies
I applaud your depth of knowledge and emotional intelligence to go so deep with this piece. "Silence strings played are classic stillness, it tings in our minds when we think, finger pluck message to join to us in belief touring our inner soul, I do contest its act of not telling to us, its tight lips is abuse to others we know; thoughts not said: they to cause suckers to bleed." This is truly beyond my ability and I am curious how you developed such abilities. Well done!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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I applaud your depth of knowledge and emotional intelligence to go so deep with this piece. "Silence strings played are classic stillness, it tings in our minds when we think, finger pluck message to join to us in belief touring our inner soul, I do contest its act of not telling to us, its tight lips is abuse to others we know; thoughts not said: they to cause suckers to bleed." This is truly beyond my ability and I am curious how you developed such abilities. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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I.have many pits in my write, don't tell no one: proper English. Glad at least its thoughts touched. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating statement.
Comment from victor 66
An interesting, in depth and curious take on "silence". I'm not a fan of the so called, "all seeing eye". I think that there are things and actions that take place for which no one, no entity has knowledge. Just my opinion. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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An interesting, in depth and curious take on "silence". I'm not a fan of the so called, "all seeing eye". I think that there are things and actions that take place for which no one, no entity has knowledge. Just my opinion. Best wishes.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Perfection has a steady hand, not just a roll of dice, all have beliefs: not many certainties. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating statement.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from RGstar
This was a formidable write in conjunctiopn with silence. I can't ever remember reading such in conjunction with that single entity. You have put a lot of thought and work into this, which I commend you for. Many different aspects used in relaying your thesis. Bravo.
Some of the lines may need a bit of punctuation to better understand, but it may be the way the author wants it to be read as it adds a certain character.
Well done.
My best wishes,
RGstar
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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This was a formidable write in conjunctiopn with silence. I can't ever remember reading such in conjunction with that single entity. You have put a lot of thought and work into this, which I commend you for. Many different aspects used in relaying your thesis. Bravo.
Some of the lines may need a bit of punctuation to better understand, but it may be the way the author wants it to be read as it adds a certain character.
Well done.
My best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Glad this write was pleasing in certain aspects. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Silence, seems drenched with wisdom delivered like a riddle that has to be solved to completely comprehend the hidden message.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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This poem, Silence, seems drenched with wisdom delivered like a riddle that has to be solved to completely comprehend the hidden message.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Yeah but grammatic errors reflect in work and must be revised for more comprehensive read. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed views.
Comment from P1
the sound of silence...nothing nicer
i really like this piece i guess it must have
taken ages to write as it is so detailed and
quite long. well worth reading and a pleasure
to review
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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the sound of silence...nothing nicer
i really like this piece i guess it must have
taken ages to write as it is so detailed and
quite long. well worth reading and a pleasure
to review
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Glad this write found interests, love your response about write not norm. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating comments.
Comment from Ulla
Hi There. This was a poem about the encompassing silence. It had really strong imagery in places. In other places I encountered difficult in reading and understanding what you wanted to say, Your language and grammar still needs a lot of working on. But I can see an improvement since your last poem. Keep up the good work. All the best. Ulla
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Hi There. This was a poem about the encompassing silence. It had really strong imagery in places. In other places I encountered difficult in reading and understanding what you wanted to say, Your language and grammar still needs a lot of working on. But I can see an improvement since your last poem. Keep up the good work. All the best. Ulla
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the hopeful intents up, will consider remarks and seek revisions. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
Comment from Paul Sienicki
Sorry to say but time is money, and you have too many words in describing your sentimental moods about silence. It feels like an essay rather than a poetry, I must say. Remember these days, less is more. Try to say something succinctly and to the point using picturesque language. Thanks for sharing it. Good job.
Paul
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Sorry to say but time is money, and you have too many words in describing your sentimental moods about silence. It feels like an essay rather than a poetry, I must say. Remember these days, less is more. Try to say something succinctly and to the point using picturesque language. Thanks for sharing it. Good job.
Paul
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Your right and I will consider these statements about write. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed views.
Comment from Liberty Justice
NICE! SILENCE main theme here is how silence is in our dreams and it stalks US everywhere. Silence is personified like a person who controls US. GREAT! Review mine also. liberty justice
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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NICE! SILENCE main theme here is how silence is in our dreams and it stalks US everywhere. Silence is personified like a person who controls US. GREAT! Review mine also. liberty justice
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I will. Glad.you found interests. Enjoyed your written enthusiastic presensentation: delightful. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating comments.
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Comment from Lynn27
I like idea behind the poem. In some areas this piece rumbled on and repeating the word silence got old from me.
I did noticed the grammar was better.
Happy Writing,
Lynn
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I like idea behind the poem. In some areas this piece rumbled on and repeating the word silence got old from me.
I did noticed the grammar was better.
Happy Writing,
Lynn
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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As stated my write have pits but I'm here to learn, I do revisions constantly. Thanking you for your welcomed suggestion: I will revise. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
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May I Suggested:
That you stop putting yourself down. We all struggled in writing with something. You are like me that we both struggle with grammar that affects our writing.
Keep writing.
Lynn
