Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "A Bill"Dawn of Chaos
45 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoy the writing style of this verse.
The stanzas read like a free verse, as one stream of consciousness.
The colorful vocabulary paints the "halls of Congress," as the calamity it is.
The topic is relatable to all, but "a bill," is enjoyed by no one.
Thank you for this offering.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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I enjoy the writing style of this verse.
The stanzas read like a free verse, as one stream of consciousness.
The colorful vocabulary paints the "halls of Congress," as the calamity it is.
The topic is relatable to all, but "a bill," is enjoyed by no one.
Thank you for this offering.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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Your statement makes me feel, I'm getting closer to a better clarity in this write read, feeling also an impact that touched you, pausing you to consider what's being actually stated by words. Very glad of this awakenings for us both. Thanking you for your generous rare and welcomed comments.
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My pleasure!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I am not sure that I understand this poem-story, but I guess you are trying to bring to the attention of the reader the fact that one dollar bill doesn't exist anymore, as a paper denomination and that inflation killed the value.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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I am not sure that I understand this poem-story, but I guess you are trying to bring to the attention of the reader the fact that one dollar bill doesn't exist anymore, as a paper denomination and that inflation killed the value.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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Not quite the direction I was intending, interesting viewpoint, giving votes by people that influence acts of crime, not justified by Liberty: who seems blind to these assaults. Glad, dispute faults, certain aspects in this write were found appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and profound viewpoint.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, A Bill, is trackable to the point that the word BILL has many meanings within the piece. After a third reding it is still rather an enigma as to what the point might be.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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This poem, A Bill, is trackable to the point that the word BILL has many meanings within the piece. After a third reding it is still rather an enigma as to what the point might be.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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Bottomline. The system sucks. Its fact taking from the poor to profit those whom are rich. All actions given permission by votes. You get what you ask for, a royal belittlement, cloaked in ignorance.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I like all the internal rhyme, TPAC, but I didn't understand much of what the poem is saying. I know it has something to do with the dollar. We have the pound. Yours says a lot more than ours does. Well done, I still enjoyed the rhythm as I read it aloud. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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I like all the internal rhyme, TPAC, but I didn't understand much of what the poem is saying. I know it has something to do with the dollar. We have the pound. Yours says a lot more than ours does. Well done, I still enjoyed the rhythm as I read it aloud. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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I'm glad some aspects in this write were appealing to your interests. The law system was my sought target. The legislation of matters for the people. Thanking you dispute short comings for your generous rate.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I am not quite sure what this is about as I don't know about this tax and what is for, but you are certainly unhappy about it here.
One suggestion for this line for the sake of grammar.
(Their concern(s) were handwritten),
Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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I am not quite sure what this is about as I don't know about this tax and what is for, but you are certainly unhappy about it here.
One suggestion for this line for the sake of grammar.
(Their concern(s) were handwritten),
Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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You got part of the message. It's the abuse of the system by Royals to deprive pleasants. The story remains the same. Thanking you for your honest comment: and generous rate.
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You are most welcome and thank you for explaining x x x
Comment from royowen
Jesus knew the corrupting affect that money would have on people, yet, although He was God, was born in a stable, even the clothes that He stood up in, were borrowed, He never owned a home, or had a bed to lay His Head. But it's wiser to be poor I think, everybody's after our money, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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Jesus knew the corrupting affect that money would have on people, yet, although He was God, was born in a stable, even the clothes that He stood up in, were borrowed, He never owned a home, or had a bed to lay His Head. But it's wiser to be poor I think, everybody's after our money, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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Yeah. Man's love of mammon has brought great wickedness into our lives. Lucky we have God to correct. Thanking you for your kind words and generous rate.
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Yep, that?s true
Comment from nomi338
The system is deemed legal and official. Not exactly fair, but if you know how to work the system, you can survive within its workings. If you are bold and daring enough you can even manipulate it to gain a bigger foothold. Caveat: you had better know what you are doing, and who you are messing with. Failure will bring swift retribution.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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The system is deemed legal and official. Not exactly fair, but if you know how to work the system, you can survive within its workings. If you are bold and daring enough you can even manipulate it to gain a bigger foothold. Caveat: you had better know what you are doing, and who you are messing with. Failure will bring swift retribution.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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Yeah. It sucks. The Holy Text was correct, prepare for righteous justice. I feel it's coming soon. Oh Happy Day. No one is above the throne of God. But they believe there is no God. Thanking you this generous rate with compiling thoughts to consider.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I'm not going to judge this on grammar or the quality of the poem although I think it's a shame, after all the thought that's gone into it, not to refine for maximum impact. Your theme of the dollar bill is expounded on in strong and dynamic language with internal rhyme adding a pleasing element to the rant. I would need to read it all a few more times to understand the full content though some stanza have more clarity than others. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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I'm not going to judge this on grammar or the quality of the poem although I think it's a shame, after all the thought that's gone into it, not to refine for maximum impact. Your theme of the dollar bill is expounded on in strong and dynamic language with internal rhyme adding a pleasing element to the rant. I would need to read it all a few more times to understand the full content though some stanza have more clarity than others. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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Yeah. I do have my issues. Yet, I'm more at pushing the ideal. I'm trying and will consider your thoughts. Thanking you for this generous rate dispute faults.
Comment from Jumbo J
TPAC,
a choppy rhythm, yet deep in accentuated points of view. It seems to have weaved a wicked web of deceit through which the system has been rigged and set up by and for the gain of the 1%'s to allow the filtering flow on effect down the pyramid of greed to form a society to keep the greasy wheel rotating.
I'm still on the fence to whether you are a genius, or like me a conspiracy theorist, who sees and hears things with a certain clarity. The cryptic nature appeals.
No matter TPAC, I enjoyed the multiple reads it took to try the deep dive into your mind at work.
With our thoughts we create...
a Utopian ideology.
Kind regards,
James.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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TPAC,
a choppy rhythm, yet deep in accentuated points of view. It seems to have weaved a wicked web of deceit through which the system has been rigged and set up by and for the gain of the 1%'s to allow the filtering flow on effect down the pyramid of greed to form a society to keep the greasy wheel rotating.
I'm still on the fence to whether you are a genius, or like me a conspiracy theorist, who sees and hears things with a certain clarity. The cryptic nature appeals.
No matter TPAC, I enjoyed the multiple reads it took to try the deep dive into your mind at work.
With our thoughts we create...
a Utopian ideology.
Kind regards,
James.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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No. I,ve seen this injustice. The greed of a few, called Lord's, over the populist. Glad the point was made, although choppy on its presentation. Thanking you for your generous rate: dispute faults.
Comment from Eleri
This is an interesting poem based on a great idea but it is very hard to read in places because of, what appear to be, grammatical errors. For example what does 'Talking be wordsmiths' mean exactly, plus 'their concern were handwritten' should be 'Their concern was handwritten'. Also, what does 'all actions had permanently' mean - without an object that bit does not make sense, and 'it fill such a thrill' - surely that should be 'it fills...'. There are several other bits in this poem that don't seem to make a lot of sense to me but I will put that down to my being thick. I do think, however, that you need to proof-read your work a bit more to check for grammatical errors as your ideas are great.
Eleri
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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This is an interesting poem based on a great idea but it is very hard to read in places because of, what appear to be, grammatical errors. For example what does 'Talking be wordsmiths' mean exactly, plus 'their concern were handwritten' should be 'Their concern was handwritten'. Also, what does 'all actions had permanently' mean - without an object that bit does not make sense, and 'it fill such a thrill' - surely that should be 'it fills...'. There are several other bits in this poem that don't seem to make a lot of sense to me but I will put that down to my being thick. I do think, however, that you need to proof-read your work a bit more to check for grammatical errors as your ideas are great.
Eleri
Comment Written 07-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023
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Sad this was rough, as for talking wordsmiths: more like spokesmen. I do suffer from grammatic issues Thanking you for your generous rate dispute those fails.
