Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Pantoum on a Bank Holiday Beach"Poems about the coastline
15 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. The late Mr. Feral, the latest reviewer of them all. I am glad I'm wearing a hat because I take it off to you Sir. That is an outstanding piece which deserves a six. That form of poetry is simply delightful and you my friend did it a great justice. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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G'day mate. The late Mr. Feral, the latest reviewer of them all. I am glad I'm wearing a hat because I take it off to you Sir. That is an outstanding piece which deserves a six. That form of poetry is simply delightful and you my friend did it a great justice. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Many thanks Fez. Another great review.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Pantygynt,
man, this was a true delight... I would like to say a true delight to read... but that doesn't seem to cover it, as it was more like a 'happening' than a read... it was like I was up on higher ground, looking down upon your wonderful imagery as it played out... and the refrain in verse gave it that extra glance to see if that scene was still in action... I just totally enjoyed the whole experience, and feel a tad lousy for the rating that I 'have' to give... but know, the whole of this very exquisite construction was outstanding and had gold written within the thread of its weaving... truly magnificent.
With our thoughts we create,
a magic scene,
James.
******Stars!!!!!!
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Hi Pantygynt,
man, this was a true delight... I would like to say a true delight to read... but that doesn't seem to cover it, as it was more like a 'happening' than a read... it was like I was up on higher ground, looking down upon your wonderful imagery as it played out... and the refrain in verse gave it that extra glance to see if that scene was still in action... I just totally enjoyed the whole experience, and feel a tad lousy for the rating that I 'have' to give... but know, the whole of this very exquisite construction was outstanding and had gold written within the thread of its weaving... truly magnificent.
With our thoughts we create,
a magic scene,
James.
******Stars!!!!!!
Comment Written 07-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Thank you, Jumbo for thisd magnificent review. The piece seems to have resonated with you exactly as I had hoped. So glad it gave you such pleasure.
Comment from lakeport
Pantoum on a bank holiday beach, indeed I used to love going ot the beach when I lived in California, That's a wonderful expressed poem, nice in form. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you, Lakeport.
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Pantoum on a bank holiday beach, indeed I used to love going ot the beach when I lived in California, That's a wonderful expressed poem, nice in form. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you, Lakeport.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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So glad this brought back happy memories. Many thanksd for your review.
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you are very welcome. lakeport.
Comment from Treischel
A love the cascaded thoughts that infuse the Pantoum format. It's one of my favorites. When done well, as you have succeeded in here, the transition of the repeats creat a lovely result. You have definitely captured the essence of the seashore perfectly, complete with snoring old gentlemen and dropped ice cream. I particularly liked the imagery like the golden rainbow-speckled sands dotted by humanity, and the sandwich seagull interplay. Very well done.
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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A love the cascaded thoughts that infuse the Pantoum format. It's one of my favorites. When done well, as you have succeeded in here, the transition of the repeats creat a lovely result. You have definitely captured the essence of the seashore perfectly, complete with snoring old gentlemen and dropped ice cream. I particularly liked the imagery like the golden rainbow-speckled sands dotted by humanity, and the sandwich seagull interplay. Very well done.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Thank you so much for this. It is great to know when someone as knowledgeable as your self appreciates what I have written.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Action flows smoothly. Story line easy to follow. Descriptively well written and holds reader's interest. Would like to be out there playing in the water too. Write on.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Action flows smoothly. Story line easy to follow. Descriptively well written and holds reader's interest. Would like to be out there playing in the water too. Write on.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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If it does that to you it's worked. Thanks for you encouraging words. Must be doing something right.
Comment from valerieellis
Excellent! I love the way you described the setting and the people enjoying the "bank holiday."
You have inspired me to write a poem in the pantoum form. It worked very well and the repeated lines kept drawing me back, as if I was scanning the crowd and noticing new things each time. Great job!
My favorite line was:
"Golden sands touched rainbow-speckled by humanity"... it was an excellent introduction!
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Excellent! I love the way you described the setting and the people enjoying the "bank holiday."
You have inspired me to write a poem in the pantoum form. It worked very well and the repeated lines kept drawing me back, as if I was scanning the crowd and noticing new things each time. Great job!
My favorite line was:
"Golden sands touched rainbow-speckled by humanity"... it was an excellent introduction!
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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I am honoured to have been your inspiration. Are you going to post it? Many thanks for such an encouraging review.
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Yes, I will! Thank you :)
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I'll look out for it.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a terrific example of the pantoum form, complete with an excellent description of the reasoning for choosing this form to mirror the minds tendency to revisit images as it builds memory of a scene. Nice poem.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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This is a terrific example of the pantoum form, complete with an excellent description of the reasoning for choosing this form to mirror the minds tendency to revisit images as it builds memory of a scene. Nice poem.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thank you Bill for these kind words. So glad you liked it.
Comment from benoenose
Merry making on a holiday is exceptionally great. The poet expresses the fact of all age groups that enjoy the beach, except the old.
Though a village atmosphere is sought the bikini sounds modern.
So read by all ages, especially who love beaches.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Merry making on a holiday is exceptionally great. The poet expresses the fact of all age groups that enjoy the beach, except the old.
Though a village atmosphere is sought the bikini sounds modern.
So read by all ages, especially who love beaches.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thanks for reading and your kind review.
Comment from janalma
Good and interesting poem. It well describes a day at the beach and brought a smile of recognition at the mention of the granddad and the child who drops his ice cream and howls. The repeated lines give it a rhythm and cadence that is appealing. I'm not a poetry critic, but I enjoyed my little visit to the beach. Lol.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Good and interesting poem. It well describes a day at the beach and brought a smile of recognition at the mention of the granddad and the child who drops his ice cream and howls. The repeated lines give it a rhythm and cadence that is appealing. I'm not a poetry critic, but I enjoyed my little visit to the beach. Lol.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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I'm so glad you enjoyed the beach party and many thanks for this review.
Comment from tekeela
I enjoyed reading this poetry I love how the writer was very visual and to the point allowing the reader to relax and enjoy the sea side threw imagination
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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I enjoyed reading this poetry I love how the writer was very visual and to the point allowing the reader to relax and enjoy the sea side threw imagination
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thank you for your kind review. You pay me acomplement yet give me four stars. I'm not complaining but it would be helpful if you could say what exactly it is that you think needs improvement.