Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Don't Worry"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
47 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Davis
A succinct story that engages the reader throughout.
The story is well composed and presented.
The child's calm and measured reaction resonates well.
Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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A succinct story that engages the reader throughout.
The story is well composed and presented.
The child's calm and measured reaction resonates well.
Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Thank you Sharon for reading and reviewing my story. I appreciate your time and your thoughts. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Janetsue
It is very evident why this is the contest winner. I wish I had a six left for it. It is a beautifully written entry and brings out the message of hope. So many people go through difficult situations by themselves. (When I was married long ago, my then husband crashed the small plane he was flying. It was really bad, but God's hand was at work and he actually survived with just minor scratches.) Congratulations on the well-deserved win!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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It is very evident why this is the contest winner. I wish I had a six left for it. It is a beautifully written entry and brings out the message of hope. So many people go through difficult situations by themselves. (When I was married long ago, my then husband crashed the small plane he was flying. It was really bad, but God's hand was at work and he actually survived with just minor scratches.) Congratulations on the well-deserved win!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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thank you so much for sharing your experiences and for reading my story. My husband was laying underground cables and power lines when the tunnel collapsed. He was buried... but fortunately they rescued him with only bruises and bangs. Guess that's where the emotion in the story came from. Smiles, Carol
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:-)
Comment from Eunice Amero
Oh wow this is a good story. I was scared. I thought the husband died. Jamie is a bright little fellow. Things can happen so quick. If we didn't have God to look up to where would we go. You never know what the day will bring forth. Just trust in the living God. Have a great day and thank you for sharing. It was interesting.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Oh wow this is a good story. I was scared. I thought the husband died. Jamie is a bright little fellow. Things can happen so quick. If we didn't have God to look up to where would we go. You never know what the day will bring forth. Just trust in the living God. Have a great day and thank you for sharing. It was interesting.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Eunice...this was based on a similar event with my husband. He was laying underground cables and power lines and the tunnel collapsed. Thanks so much for the thoughtfulness and the stars. Smiles, Carol
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Did your husband live l hope.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Congratulations of the contest win with a very deserving piece. Knowing this post doesn't need anymore chartreuse plus signs to bolster its ratings, I've elected to save one of the few they give us to praise another of your upcoming stories. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend, and the week just gets better and better. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Congratulations of the contest win with a very deserving piece. Knowing this post doesn't need anymore chartreuse plus signs to bolster its ratings, I've elected to save one of the few they give us to praise another of your upcoming stories. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend, and the week just gets better and better. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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I am off to get my Covid shot...Ugh! I hope it doesn't make me sick. Several family members got sick...
Thanks for the review. I always love hearing from you. I have posted a new chapter and hopefully will get another one out later. The weather is very hot so staying inside is my option. Have a great day! Smiles and hugs...Carol
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Young lady, you should have had those shots a long time ago. I've only known a few who've had side effects, and they only lasted a couple days at most. I had no reaction at all with either shot. They say to never say "Good Luck" and to replace it with "Break a Leg." But with my luck, I'll just saw, hope all goes well, which I'm sure it will be! :-)
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i waited for the girls to be gone just in case I got sick...they are gone for three months so I am good to go! Shot is in my body and I wait to see... Most of my family got sick...praying it skips me! He did tell me to watch for signs of blood clots only because I have a history... Mentioned it after the shot...thanks a lot, bud!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Carol. I understand why this story was a winner. I like the way you had Jamie building with his Legos while his father was building on the skyscraper until . . . The parallelism woks well. Young children are more intuitive than what many give them credit for being. I'm thrilled with the ending.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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You did a great job, Carol. I understand why this story was a winner. I like the way you had Jamie building with his Legos while his father was building on the skyscraper until . . . The parallelism woks well. Young children are more intuitive than what many give them credit for being. I'm thrilled with the ending.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Me too! I based it on an actual story when my husband was laying underground cables and power lines and he got buried.... He found humor in it while telling me...Me, not so much. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I will just say it, when you manage to keep your calm and leave your fears to good then miracles are happening and life gets a second chance. Thank you for sharing, congrats for your win and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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I will just say it, when you manage to keep your calm and leave your fears to good then miracles are happening and life gets a second chance. Thank you for sharing, congrats for your win and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Thanks so much for your kind review, Iza...I am way behind and still must write another chapter...well, at least start it. Smiles, Carol
Comment from amahra
That was so beautifully written. I loved how you flushed out every emotion without making the writing seem rushed. You made me care about those three people with only limited writing. I'm so glad you won.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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That was so beautifully written. I loved how you flushed out every emotion without making the writing seem rushed. You made me care about those three people with only limited writing. I'm so glad you won.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thank you, amahra....this was based on a similar event with my husband. He was laying underground cables and power lines and the tunnel collapsed. Thanks so much for the thoughtfulness and the stars. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Another stunner--excruciating suspense, skillfully rendered--dialog is believable under the circumstances--I didn't know how this was going to end--I got what I hoped for! Congrats on your win--not surprised!
Brilliant: Her brain screamed, but words wouldn't form.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Another stunner--excruciating suspense, skillfully rendered--dialog is believable under the circumstances--I didn't know how this was going to end--I got what I hoped for! Congrats on your win--not surprised!
Brilliant: Her brain screamed, but words wouldn't form.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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This one came from a true story with my husband, but not quite the same. He got buried while laying underground cables...They got him out with bruises and bumps. He found humor in it...Me, not so much. Smiles, Carol
I hope I am not confusing my stories and reviews. Got my Covid shot and seems like my brain isn't working correctly. Well, at least I can blame it on that!
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Which husband?
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Mike..
Comment from royowen
You're a fine writer, just the source of story that defines your writing, hope is the centre of your motivation, I've just read a poem about people taking drugs, I said the reason I drank was the lack of hope in my life, oh I had the trappings, a great wife, 2 very beautiful children, but yet I drank, when hope found at a low place all that changed, like Lillian. This could be your story Carol, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2021
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You're a fine writer, just the source of story that defines your writing, hope is the centre of your motivation, I've just read a poem about people taking drugs, I said the reason I drank was the lack of hope in my life, oh I had the trappings, a great wife, 2 very beautiful children, but yet I drank, when hope found at a low place all that changed, like Lillian. This could be your story Carol, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2021
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Wow, Roy! thanks for the awesome review and the shiny stars. My husband was buried when he was laying underground cables and power lines...Luckily they were right on it and got him out. He was bruised and banged, but he didn't tell me until he was back from Chicago after the hospital. He knew I would freak. thus that's where the story evolved from. I am thankful that God has seen fit to always give me that glimmer of hope to hang on to regardless of the trouble I face. Thank you so much...Bless you and all the wonderful things you say and do for me. I am so blessed to have you as a friend. Smiles, Carol
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Good job
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent flash fiction story. It really held my attention and I could sympathize with both the mother and the child. This was very well written.
Just two small errors, punctuation only:
"Hello"
-->
"Hello?"
"Mrs. O'Hara"
-->
"Mrs. O'Hara?"
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This shows a beautiful dynamic between the mother and the son. She's very careful about his feelings. And she obviously loves her husband tremendously.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2021
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Excellent flash fiction story. It really held my attention and I could sympathize with both the mother and the child. This was very well written.
Just two small errors, punctuation only:
"Hello"
-->
"Hello?"
"Mrs. O'Hara"
-->
"Mrs. O'Hara?"
***
This shows a beautiful dynamic between the mother and the son. She's very careful about his feelings. And she obviously loves her husband tremendously.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2021
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Good afternoon, Mary Kay... Thanks for the review and suggestions. My husband was laying underground cable lines and power lines, and the walls caved in on him. Luckily, they could get him out right away, but that's where the story came from. Smiles, Carol
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Amazing! I had no idea that this was based on a real-life experience. It had to be very frightening. Thank God that everything was okay. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
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Most of my stories are drawn by something that has affected my life in one way or another. I thank you for enjoying and feeling the emotions. Smiles, Carol
