Somewhere
Today's News9 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
There should be a law that journalists should write bad news in poetry. I'd rather read this version of the sad news than receive it starkly on the radio and TV. Apart from factual details such as names and places, this say it all and far more poignantly than any news bulletin.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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There should be a law that journalists should write bad news in poetry. I'd rather read this version of the sad news than receive it starkly on the radio and TV. Apart from factual details such as names and places, this say it all and far more poignantly than any news bulletin.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem.
Jo
Comment from valerieellis
Excellent! I love the message in this poem! It saddens me to think of the pain that is being caused by these senseless riots. What has humanity become?
The only suggestion I have is to possibly separate the line "somewhere a heart is breaking" and let it stand alone. This will allow the rhyme and rhythm to flow smoothly throughout the remaining stanzas. Thank you for sharing. God bless :)
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Excellent! I love the message in this poem! It saddens me to think of the pain that is being caused by these senseless riots. What has humanity become?
The only suggestion I have is to possibly separate the line "somewhere a heart is breaking" and let it stand alone. This will allow the rhyme and rhythm to flow smoothly throughout the remaining stanzas. Thank you for sharing. God bless :)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you valerie for commenting on my poem and your suggestion on how to improve it.
Jo
Comment from bizzygirl
Nailed it! O HOW I WISH that had not happened. My heart aches for the survivors and Baltimore. VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!! First glance the phot didn't fit until I read the poem. Photo is pretty close to perfection too. I am saddened by the words, well written. I am even sadder that it happened at all. RIP, Baltimore find peace.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Nailed it! O HOW I WISH that had not happened. My heart aches for the survivors and Baltimore. VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!! First glance the phot didn't fit until I read the poem. Photo is pretty close to perfection too. I am saddened by the words, well written. I am even sadder that it happened at all. RIP, Baltimore find peace.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you bizzygirl for reading and commenting on my poem. Yes, I am saddened, too.
Jo
Comment from tommyboywood
first three stanzas have a nice beat, though inexplicably the meter changes in stanza four. nevertheless, this cuts to the heart. I immediately thought of Baltimore
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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first three stanzas have a nice beat, though inexplicably the meter changes in stanza four. nevertheless, this cuts to the heart. I immediately thought of Baltimore
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Yes, tommy you are right. Thank you for reading and commenting on my work.
Jo
Comment from abbasjoy
Your poem is so relevant with what is taking place in the world these days. Yet, the Bible says there is nothing new under the sun, because from the time the first man and woman sinned, there has been heartbreak, sorrow hatred, wars and rumors of wars, which will continue until our Saviour returns to take those who believe in Him, home. Then and only then, will we be able to experience a place where there is peace, no more tears, sickness or pain.
The repetition throughout of "Somewhere a heart is breaking,
A mother watches the news", reminds us that these things will continue somewhere on this planet.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Your poem is so relevant with what is taking place in the world these days. Yet, the Bible says there is nothing new under the sun, because from the time the first man and woman sinned, there has been heartbreak, sorrow hatred, wars and rumors of wars, which will continue until our Saviour returns to take those who believe in Him, home. Then and only then, will we be able to experience a place where there is peace, no more tears, sickness or pain.
The repetition throughout of "Somewhere a heart is breaking,
A mother watches the news", reminds us that these things will continue somewhere on this planet.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Yes, abbbasjoy you are right. Things will not get better until our Jesus returns. Thank you so much for your comments on my work.
Jo
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem seems to follow the current unrest in several areas in the U.S. and other parts of the world. The questions posed will hopefully be answered soon.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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This poem seems to follow the current unrest in several areas in the U.S. and other parts of the world. The questions posed will hopefully be answered soon.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you Bill for reading and commenting on my poem.
Jo
Comment from TAB_that's me
All the racial problems today are so terrible. Great poem about hearts breaking. Good luck to you in the contest.
teresa
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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All the racial problems today are so terrible. Great poem about hearts breaking. Good luck to you in the contest.
teresa
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you TAB for the well wishes and for commenting on my poem.
Jo
Comment from I am Cat
Nice twist on this prompt!
It's so true... as it has been through the ages, but the news brings it home, into our lives, into our beds and while we're brushing our teeth... it stoves up our insides and leaves us nauseous... Back when we weren't so pounded with it right where we eat and sleep, we could ignore it...
If there is an omnipotent being watching us all... surely he/she is sickened as well.
Well written and I really like the spin you gave it.
Good luck in the contest!
Cat
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Nice twist on this prompt!
It's so true... as it has been through the ages, but the news brings it home, into our lives, into our beds and while we're brushing our teeth... it stoves up our insides and leaves us nauseous... Back when we weren't so pounded with it right where we eat and sleep, we could ignore it...
If there is an omnipotent being watching us all... surely he/she is sickened as well.
Well written and I really like the spin you gave it.
Good luck in the contest!
Cat
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you Cat for reviewing and commenting on my poem. Glad you liked my twist.
Jo
Comment from patcelaw
it is a sad time. I really feel if the media was not allowed on the scene of the riots the rioters would not find as much pleasure in their evil deeds, because a lot of them are there, hoping for their 15 minutes of fame, by seeing their pictures splashed across the evening news. Patricia
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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it is a sad time. I really feel if the media was not allowed on the scene of the riots the rioters would not find as much pleasure in their evil deeds, because a lot of them are there, hoping for their 15 minutes of fame, by seeing their pictures splashed across the evening news. Patricia
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you patcelaw for reviewing my poem and your comments.
jo