Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Venetian Blind"Poems about the coastline
13 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
Dearest Mr Gynt...
What an interesting way you have with words...
erstwhile, and the like... :)
I smile as I read them... as they tickle my tongue...
you ask... can you fall for words...
it's a real possibility. lol
I especially was tickled by the fact that most people would have just said, drowned. But you... my dear Panty man... had to choose inundated... really?
I actually have... or had, in my younger years, a very high IQ, and (what I considered) a pretty large vocabulary... yet and still... you constantly send me to google (quite embarassingly, i might add) to define some of these words which you pluck from who knows where, to put into your poetry... (refreshingly so, I might add) and you teach me...
(which is sort of a turn on as well... but that's some sort of Svengali thing, i"m sure)
and anyway, back to the review....
These lines, especially... tickled my fancy:
'and it will cost a waving arm
and kicking leg
to keep its drowning head
above the water.'
lol..now that's just too funny.
lol
I'm still chuckling.
yeah. That's a surreal painting in itself, you know?
Something Dali would have painted.
Yeah, I like that.
Well done... you keep hitting it out of the park, my dear Gynt.
indeed.
I like your mind.
Cat
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
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Dearest Mr Gynt...
What an interesting way you have with words...
erstwhile, and the like... :)
I smile as I read them... as they tickle my tongue...
you ask... can you fall for words...
it's a real possibility. lol
I especially was tickled by the fact that most people would have just said, drowned. But you... my dear Panty man... had to choose inundated... really?
I actually have... or had, in my younger years, a very high IQ, and (what I considered) a pretty large vocabulary... yet and still... you constantly send me to google (quite embarassingly, i might add) to define some of these words which you pluck from who knows where, to put into your poetry... (refreshingly so, I might add) and you teach me...
(which is sort of a turn on as well... but that's some sort of Svengali thing, i"m sure)
and anyway, back to the review....
These lines, especially... tickled my fancy:
'and it will cost a waving arm
and kicking leg
to keep its drowning head
above the water.'
lol..now that's just too funny.
lol
I'm still chuckling.
yeah. That's a surreal painting in itself, you know?
Something Dali would have painted.
Yeah, I like that.
Well done... you keep hitting it out of the park, my dear Gynt.
indeed.
I like your mind.
Cat
Comment Written 07-May-2015
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
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And I yours for seeing everything that is there to see that somany just don't notice. Many thanks again.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a interesting topic and your word choice this it a superior tone. The personification in the second stanza is humorous and entertaining.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
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This is a interesting topic and your word choice this it a superior tone. The personification in the second stanza is humorous and entertaining.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
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Glad you enjoyed it. Many thanks.
Comment from Treischel
A very eloquent poetic appraisal of the dire circumstances facing Venice as the sea rises and the city sinks. Love the picture you used to illustrate its beauty. You free verse was deftly carved to impart the proper pause and pace intended. Your alliteration was spectacular, the imagery sublime. A real gem. Love these lines:
but here, with its liquidity in doubt,
it will most likely, simply be priced out
of all existence,
gone,
like most of its gondolas,
for a song sung to a small guitar.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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A very eloquent poetic appraisal of the dire circumstances facing Venice as the sea rises and the city sinks. Love the picture you used to illustrate its beauty. You free verse was deftly carved to impart the proper pause and pace intended. Your alliteration was spectacular, the imagery sublime. A real gem. Love these lines:
but here, with its liquidity in doubt,
it will most likely, simply be priced out
of all existence,
gone,
like most of its gondolas,
for a song sung to a small guitar.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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What can I say. I think I'm running out of gratitude! Many, many thanks.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate, you are on fire! These are just stunning pieces of poetry and so entertaining. Poor old Venice, the poets dream place and also the romantics, is in trouble. How sad, but you would have to think that it will somehow be saved, surely? Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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G'day mate, you are on fire! These are just stunning pieces of poetry and so entertaining. Poor old Venice, the poets dream place and also the romantics, is in trouble. How sad, but you would have to think that it will somehow be saved, surely? Cheers Fez
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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I think it is too historically and architecturally valuable to be let go. They'll no doubt find the money somehow. Thanks for your generous review.
Comment from BeasPeas
First of all, Welcome to FanStory. I think you will like it on this site. I like this poem very much. You've answered some questions that I've had about the city structurally. I've been to Italy, but not Venice. I'm sure it's very beautiful, but I also have wondered about its stability. An interesting and well constructed poem. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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First of all, Welcome to FanStory. I think you will like it on this site. I like this poem very much. You've answered some questions that I've had about the city structurally. I've been to Italy, but not Venice. I'm sure it's very beautiful, but I also have wondered about its stability. An interesting and well constructed poem. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Thank you Marilyn for your review and the stars. Actually I've never been to Venice myself but the internet is a wonderful place for research!
Comment from livelylinda
Author: I wasn't aware of Venice having such horrific problems. Focus on the news is mostly about wars and Isis. The finality of the last six lines brings history to a bad place. How can the world exist without Venice?? Nice writing. livelylinda
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Author: I wasn't aware of Venice having such horrific problems. Focus on the news is mostly about wars and Isis. The finality of the last six lines brings history to a bad place. How can the world exist without Venice?? Nice writing. livelylinda
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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The broadcast was some months ago but it made a deep impression on me and one other reviewer has mentioned seeing it too. Thanks for your complimentary review.
Comment from Jose Saic
Beautiful poem that exposed tha high risks of Venetian country that probably will sunk in the Adriatic sea that is claiming its recompense for medieval centuries.
Beautiful images in these verses that reflex a great love of the poet to Venice.
Congratulations.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Beautiful poem that exposed tha high risks of Venetian country that probably will sunk in the Adriatic sea that is claiming its recompense for medieval centuries.
Beautiful images in these verses that reflex a great love of the poet to Venice.
Congratulations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your kind review and stars.
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You are welcome
Comment from Ulla
Well, I liked it. I must your liking of Venice to Birmingham was a bit beyond me so was grateful to read your notes. I have a feeling that Venice will survive our lifetime. I don't think it will be allowed to vanish below the water line. Well written. Ulla
ps. Another city which is sinking is Bangkok.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Well, I liked it. I must your liking of Venice to Birmingham was a bit beyond me so was grateful to read your notes. I have a feeling that Venice will survive our lifetime. I don't think it will be allowed to vanish below the water line. Well written. Ulla
ps. Another city which is sinking is Bangkok.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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I would tend to agree that the world will not let Venice drown in the final analysis. I didn't know about Bangkok. The next poem in the book is about a place that has already drowned and I don't mean Atlantis either. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from rama devi
What a wonderful closing note to this excellent free verse portrait of a sinking city. Potent lines:
For the sea is seeking Adriatic recompense
for medieval centuries
of domination by the city state,
Favorite lines:
Venice would have vanished long ago,
inundated,
eroded into oblivion,
but here, with its liquidity in doubt,
it will most likely, simply be priced out
of all existence,
gone,
like most of its gondolas,
for a song sung to a small guitar.
Nice work. Fine free verse style. Good originality in voicing. Good fluid flow.
i have one (optional) suggestion for your consideration:
Venice.(: or --)
Land and sea merged in uneasy coexistence.
Fine presentation too!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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What a wonderful closing note to this excellent free verse portrait of a sinking city. Potent lines:
For the sea is seeking Adriatic recompense
for medieval centuries
of domination by the city state,
Favorite lines:
Venice would have vanished long ago,
inundated,
eroded into oblivion,
but here, with its liquidity in doubt,
it will most likely, simply be priced out
of all existence,
gone,
like most of its gondolas,
for a song sung to a small guitar.
Nice work. Fine free verse style. Good originality in voicing. Good fluid flow.
i have one (optional) suggestion for your consideration:
Venice.(: or --)
Land and sea merged in uneasy coexistence.
Fine presentation too!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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And no spag! I must be getting better at it. Thank you so much for this review. Praise from you I consider to be praise indeed.
I'll have a think about that suggestion for the first line. I'm going to live with that idea for a day or two.
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:-)))
Comment from Veeb
Wonderfully constructed, historic poem. Both informative and picturesque. I must have seen the same PBS documentary because I was shocked at the reality of a sinking city! That would definitely be a tragedy.
I particularly liked your descriptions: "it will cost a waving arm and a kicking leg" (brought a smile) and "tideless dead end of a cul-de-sac" (wonderfully picturesque). And your last line - and "song sung to a small guitar" brought Tiny Tim and his ukulele to mind and completely did me in! We cannot let that happen.
You've achieved a good tempo, wonderful vocabulary, a lyrical read, and so for me, it is all there. I enjoyed this very much!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Wonderfully constructed, historic poem. Both informative and picturesque. I must have seen the same PBS documentary because I was shocked at the reality of a sinking city! That would definitely be a tragedy.
I particularly liked your descriptions: "it will cost a waving arm and a kicking leg" (brought a smile) and "tideless dead end of a cul-de-sac" (wonderfully picturesque). And your last line - and "song sung to a small guitar" brought Tiny Tim and his ukulele to mind and completely did me in! We cannot let that happen.
You've achieved a good tempo, wonderful vocabulary, a lyrical read, and so for me, it is all there. I enjoyed this very much!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I am so pleased this poem gave you so much pleasure.
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most welcome!