Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

A simple plot but a terrible dreaded subject. A nightmare illustrated by a classic (in my opinion) 1950s horror comic drawing.

Original, gripping and inspiring. And that faint bleeping...

A good start for the book.

:) Mel.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks, Mel. I wanted to post a story that represented a common thing a great many people are terrified of, at least for the very first chapter. That "thing" is going under the knife while still being conscience. I knew I had to kick it off as best I could to get people interested. I'm happy you got interested in this series. It has generated some mixed reviews, but most of them are good.
I'm happy you took the time to read this one. ~Dean

reply by write hand blue on 06-Jun-2015

You are right, this is a major fear with some people. In my opinion I think it would hold it's own in a book of flash fiction horror. Especially with the picture. :) Mel.

Comment from Michaelk

Exceptional

This was an excellent chapter and a great introduction to this book.
When I first started reading it, I immediately thought of the short story from Steven King's 'Everything's eventual', but your twist was much shorter and much more sinister.
My only question is, was it the nurses or the doctors who knew she was awake?
Excellent flash fiction.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015

Thanks for the sixer, Michael, and for reading this tiny tale of terror at all, then sharing your thoughts and opinions with me about it.
The implication is that they all knew she was awake -- the whole lot of surgeons and nurses, anesthesiologists... However, I leave the interpretation completely up to the one doing the reading.

Thanks again, brother. It's great to hear from you again...~Dean

Comment from fimarie78

Excellent

Everyone's worst nightmare and the scary thing is that it does happen.

This was a very engaging piece and I could easily have read more.

A multi author book. That sounds interesting.

In the first part, could the word alert be replaced by a synonym rather than say it twice?

I hope I don't have nightmares tonight :)
Fiona

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015

Sure thing, Fiona, I will definitely look into your suggestion.
This story is based on something that actually happened to me. I awoke during heart surgery, and although there was no pain, I could feel the sensation of the surgeon pushing and pulling inside my chest cavity. It was no fun, believe me.

Thanks for the suggestion and review. I appreciate it... ~Dean

reply by fimarie78 on 27-Apr-2015

Goodness that must have been awful

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015

I was terrified...

Comment from Delahay

Excellent

When I started reading I was thinking about those tales of people who ended up being awake and feeling everything while they are operated on. That would be bad enough but I never thought of the doctors doing it on purpose. Now that is scary.

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015

I thought that might add a little sadistic twist to an oft-told story about people waking up in the middle of surgery. You're absolutely right, Delahay, that alone would be terrifying. To know it was being done on purpose would be enough to drive you mad.

I very much appreciate your review...~Dean

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

Tiny though the tale may be, it was most definitely terrifying. I didn't let my imagination run wild, just quickly went to writing the review. Yikes! Didn't realize this was a multi-author book. What a great idea!

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks, Green Lake Girl.

Yep, any premium FanStory member can contribute stories to this book, as long as the stories have a horror/thriller theme (of course), and are two-hundred words or less. Try it sometime, you just might like it...:)

Thanks again. ~Dean

reply by Green Lake Girl on 27-Apr-2015

Hmmmmm....maybe I will!

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015

I hope so. I have yet to receive a single submission... :(

reply by Green Lake Girl on 27-Apr-2015

Really? I'm surprised. I'll have to give it a go. (I'm not really feeling all that horrific or thrilling right now, though. :D)

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015

No worries. The book will still be there when you do. ;)

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

Ooo. I've heard of people being able to feel everything, including pain during surgery. Thank goodness, I go out like a light bulb.
Question: Don't your eyes react to light even if you're unconscious?
I thought they did.
Rose.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks, Rose, and something like this actually happened to me. I awoke in the middle of my defibrillator surgery. I could feel the tugging and pushing as the surgeon pushed the device into my chest cavity, but there was no pain, thank God. When I spoke, everything got as quiet as a church on Tuesday.

Our eyes do react to light stimuli, even while we are unconscious. Sometime for a while after death even. Until they're completely fixed and dilated, of course.

Thank you very much for your review. I appreciate it, as always. :)

~Dean

reply by Just2Write on 26-Apr-2015

OMG, Dean. No doubt the OR staff went quiet!
Thank Goodness you couldn't feel the pain. My husband's cousin was allergic to most sedatives, so all surgeries (and she had a few) were done without it.

reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Good grief, and I thought I had it bad, lol!

Comment from rod007

Excellent

I liked this--short and sweet. The chill went up my spine when they cut her even though they knew she was awake. I would have liked to have known why she was being cut up--a good one would be for organ donation! But I suppose you wanted to leave that to the reader's imagination. Well done, Dean.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks for taking the time to read and review this story for me, Rod. I sincerely appreciate that.

Yes, I've found with flash fiction the more you leave to the readers' imagination, the better. That's been my experience, at least.

Thanks again...~Dean

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Exceptional

Dean -superbly written.
Mission accomplished so well.
I felt the terror of the helpless victim, the realisation of hope lost and the squeamish feeling in my stomach at the callous act.
That second last line clinched the deal.
:-) Shirley

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thank you very mcuh, Shirley, and I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this Tiny Tale of Terror. Thanks for the g-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-a-t feedback and the generous six star rating as well. As always it is greatly appreciated. :)

~Dean

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Great finish off - don't you think we've always known........
Good one Dean, might have to have a practice at one of these mini-horrors myself. Really enjoyed yours.

valda

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

You should, Pearl. I'd really like to see what you might come up with, lol...
Thanks so much for the review. I sincerely appreciate you, and your interest in this series. ~Dean :)

Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT

Excellent

Ok fright master This was a quickie for sure..But a good quickie as most are. You do with little words that many take paragraphs to say and with less impact as well.
Kudos on anther fright well done
TK

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Hey, thanks a million, TK! I'm really happy to know the you enjoyed this tiny tale of twisted terror. Hopefully there will be a lot of contributors from the community to this series. It would be interesting to see what our fellow FanStorians could come up with.

Much obliged! ~Dean :)