Comment from thee-name

Excellent

Excellent story. Seen no mistakes. I like your writing.

Carnival lights glow eerily in the darkened sky.

"Folks," the man said, confusion etched across his face. " This carnival employs no clowns."

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Thank you very much for taking an interest in these Tiny Tales of Terror, thee-name. I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :)
~Dean

Comment from OldVet

Excellent

Excellent entry, especially adding the eerie music and clown. I don't care for clowns myself. Something's not right right with them, hiding some dark secret.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, OldVet (I'm an old Marine Corps vet myself), you're not alone with your mistrust of clowns. I really appreciate you taking time away from your own writing to review mine.

Much obliged!

~Dean Kuch

Comment from INtity

Exceptional

I freakin' love it! Beautifully horrid with mystery! Love tales of dark carnivals! Such a superb ending from a well gifted author! I am going to read all of the tiny terrors now!

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Thanks, INtity, I'm really glad you're getting into this series. I sure have a lot of fun writing these stories, and I hope that passion transfers to you, the reader, via the entertainment value. Your six star rating and thoughtful comments are encouraging and very much appreciated.

Thanks again! ~Dean :)

Comment from HammockGuy

Exceptional

Chilling.
Loved it.

It was quick, descriptive, and as soon as I read Painted smile, I knew it was a clown. Reading the final sentence though, is when the real chill raced down my spine. I could see this turned into a novel.

Very very good!

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, HammockGuy. I can take it that you enjoyed reading this then? LOL...
In all sincerity, I really do appreciate your thoughtful comments and six star rating immensely. I'm very glad you enjoyed this story, as well as the presentation. Much appreciated, mate! :}
~Dean

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

The first time I heard the word carnevil was from an album by Emerson, Lake and Palmer, except they spelled it with a k.

No clowns, aren't clown supposed to be thought to be evil by so many peolpe. Anyways, I really enjoyed this short story line. it was well written in your usual phonetic style... John

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Hey, thanks for giving this series of short horror fiction stories a go, John. I very much appreciate your interest as well as your encouraging comments. ~Dean

Comment from w.j.debi

Exceptional

Such creepy fun, Dean. You have a knack for making what appears so harmless turn into something terrifying. Who knows if the children will ever be found or become part of the urban legend of the carnival. Or in this case carnevil

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Thank you, Debi, I appreciate you taking a look at this tiny tale for me. I am really glad you enjoyed reading it, and your six star rating is greatly appreciated as well.
Keep an eye out, there are more stories like this to come (I hope!)...
~Dean

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Exceptional

The story begins quite innocently enough. You have a carnival setting, with all images intact. Because of the title, and naturally the author, you know that something is coming that is not so innocent. It reminds me of when my children were little and had a Jack in the Box. As the music progressed, the kids would get more and more excited until the climax when the clown would pop out. That is how this poem progressed.

You have a wonderful talent for going from calm to terrifying in just a few, well chosen, words. Loved it,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks very much for the enthusiastic, detailed response, as well as the six star rating, Rhonda. You're absolutely right, I wanted the tension in this to build like a crescendo in an orchestra. I very much appreciate your review, and I'm happy that you enjoyed the overall presentation as well.

Thanks again...~Dean

reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 19-Apr-2015

I could put 6 stars on all your work, but try to spread them about, but this one just caught my attention because of the Jack-in-the-box aspect. You know its coming, but you jump anyway.
Rhonda

reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Well, I realize we get so few (six, I believe) to spread around. So I feel extremely grateful each time I've written something someone feels is worthy enough to receive one. Thanks again...:)

reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 19-Apr-2015

Wink

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Wow Dean, you never cease to shock and amaze me with your terrifying tales, Just as I think I know where this is going, you do a complete U turn and prove me wrong with a spectacular ending, Brilliant!

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks for taking time out from your own writing to review the story for me, Eric. I appreciate that, very much...~Dean

reply by Eric1 on 20-Apr-2015

It really was a pleasure to review my friend

Comment from Jacob Collins

Excellent

That picture at the end scared the life out of me! The image of the children following clown is a haunting image and you have left me wondering what happened to them. Congratulations on winning the contest, Dean. A well deserved win...Jacob

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks a million, Jacob, I'm very grateful you took the time to read and review the story. Much obliged, my friend...~Dean

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

Great piece of flash fiction. It was full of action and tension. Your clown was very believable. I did not find one thing wrong with it. Congrats on being the contest winner.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thank you, Okiegal. I very much appreciate your kind comments and review...~Dean