Inside My Head
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Kids"I am what I am,my thoughts, my words,my poems
29 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
This is a simple but beautifully stated poem about love between generations. The poem flowed smoothly and was direct and intimate.
The only typos is that "its" should be "it's"--a contraction of "it is." Other than that, this was a fine poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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This is a simple but beautifully stated poem about love between generations. The poem flowed smoothly and was direct and intimate.
The only typos is that "its" should be "it's"--a contraction of "it is." Other than that, this was a fine poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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thnx for your kind words
Comment from donaldcolson
As father of 3 grown children I can certainly resonate with your poem. You have a sense that you are destined to have your children as you love them, from the time you are born, a great idea and will be new for some. don
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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As father of 3 grown children I can certainly resonate with your poem. You have a sense that you are destined to have your children as you love them, from the time you are born, a great idea and will be new for some. don
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments, yes, It's new for some
Comment from Eric1
Hi bill, This is a beautifully formatted and well written poem, It says to me of a man's dream, before he meets a wife, his dream of children yet to come, it is like a woman would dream of a nice home and family.
We all had those thoughts in our heads, then when your children are born you see yourself in them, I personally would have called your brilliant poem The Circle of life', for that is what it pertains to in my eyes.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Hi bill, This is a beautifully formatted and well written poem, It says to me of a man's dream, before he meets a wife, his dream of children yet to come, it is like a woman would dream of a nice home and family.
We all had those thoughts in our heads, then when your children are born you see yourself in them, I personally would have called your brilliant poem The Circle of life', for that is what it pertains to in my eyes.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thanks very much for words, I guess you are right when putting a title to a poem, but it was the only one I didn;t struggle with
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You are very welcome Bill
Comment from jlmullen81
i like your poem. as a mother myself, you cant help but reflect on those special moments of child rearing. they grow up so fast and before you know it they are raising their own.
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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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i like your poem. as a mother myself, you cant help but reflect on those special moments of child rearing. they grow up so fast and before you know it they are raising their own.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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thnx for your remarks
Comment from Chris Tee
This has an excellent message and was a pleasure to read. I hope you put music to it and sing it to your children.
Well done indeed
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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This has an excellent message and was a pleasure to read. I hope you put music to it and sing it to your children.
Well done indeed
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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thnx for your comment. My kids have read this poem , but putting to music,well,one day perhaps when I can find a tune in my mind that i'm happy with
Comment from Dom G Robles
This poem is written from the point of view of a father to a kid and vice versa.
The writer says, he started loving the kids when he was born (an ironic expression) I say this because, at that point in time, it is the kid loving the father.
Then the second paragraph says, "Then you were born, I see me in you." A figure of speech that is very expressive. Now the kid had grown and has kids of his own, addressing the kid the seeds of last generation. And the conclusion, he says, "You are a raising kin ...it's what we have is what we work it's all about love you and me."
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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This poem is written from the point of view of a father to a kid and vice versa.
The writer says, he started loving the kids when he was born (an ironic expression) I say this because, at that point in time, it is the kid loving the father.
Then the second paragraph says, "Then you were born, I see me in you." A figure of speech that is very expressive. Now the kid had grown and has kids of his own, addressing the kid the seeds of last generation. And the conclusion, he says, "You are a raising kin ...it's what we have is what we work it's all about love you and me."
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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no,it was meant as i wrote it, he started loving you when he was born, the start of successive generations, but I do understand how you would think how you thought it was,cheers
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Bill, my friend, please clear my thoughts with the poem. I felt there was irony in the tone of the first stanza., and I want to learn.
You stated, " I started loving you, when I was born. (This to me refers when you first saw the light of day) Then you further said, " I loved you then and protected you through the formative years as I grew..."
I applaud you for this beautiful statement in tone and rhythm. The irony that I am speaking here is this: "Is it possible for a newborn child to love prospective children that have yet to come? This is the irony that I am talking about
.In your second stanza, you said, "Then you were born I saw me in you..."very expressive and very clear...The image here is very keen, and you said your point pretty well.
In the third stanza, you said, "Now you're older with kids of your own..."
And through the end, I saw the expressions and tone written pretty well. It is only then in the first stanza that I was trying to reconcile. Then if you can tell me where I failed as you maintained as you wanted it that way. There is indeed wrong in my understanding.
I want to learn, and I hope people could explain to me where I failed. I am just trying to clear my thoughts that I do to other writers like, Brooke, and Spiritual Echo, top writers in this site. I want to learn from you, my friend and other writers. Thank you.
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Hi Dom, you are correct on the first stanza, sorry I misread your question, my apologies, secondly, yes I think it is possible to love prospective children that have yet to come, its the hope of the future generations to come, a future, a legacy being put down, a poets belief that all will be as it should be for many generations to come with the seed of the past, as we can look back and love our ancestors without ever having met them. Your comments are very well received, we are all learning my friend, its a life experience, cheers
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Bill, my greatest thanks to you, my friend. You are a very understanding writer, a poet, a scholar and a gentleman. Dom
Comment from Megalips
This is well formatted and you have just a little rhyme sprinkled through, which is nice. The theme is well explored and final line sums things up beautifully.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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This is well formatted and you have just a little rhyme sprinkled through, which is nice. The theme is well explored and final line sums things up beautifully.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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thnx for those comments
Comment from c_lucas
We carry the traits of our forefathers with us. It makes our character. These traits will always be in our life line. This is very well written. Excellent writing.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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We carry the traits of our forefathers with us. It makes our character. These traits will always be in our life line. This is very well written. Excellent writing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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thnx very much for your comments
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You're welcome.
Comment from artemis53
Interesting take on love in where it starts and if one puts parameters upon it. Raising the future is not an easy task. Luckily many of us have parents that can add that tiny little answer or maneuver that is lacking to knot the ends of the thread.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Interesting take on love in where it starts and if one puts parameters upon it. Raising the future is not an easy task. Luckily many of us have parents that can add that tiny little answer or maneuver that is lacking to knot the ends of the thread.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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parents help us through lots of stuff I agree,thnx for your comments
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Bill...
Lovely dedication to your kids. It's amazing as we get older, how much be begin to look and act like dear ole mom and dad. I see my mom's mannerisms in me a lot. Sometimes I just have to laugh.
Great poem.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*;*)
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Hi, Bill...
Lovely dedication to your kids. It's amazing as we get older, how much be begin to look and act like dear ole mom and dad. I see my mom's mannerisms in me a lot. Sometimes I just have to laugh.
Great poem.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*;*)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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we can't escape our genes even in jeans if you know what Imean. Thnx for your comments
