Reviews from

Beautiful Mouth

100 word dash contest

39 total reviews 
Comment from scd41
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Like me, some other readers must have also got fooled in the beginning by the ploy of your 100 word contest entry. You deserved the prize. Congratulations!

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    Thank you scd. Sorry for the delay in responding... John
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    Thank you scd. Sorry for the delay in responding... John
Comment from acerisestory
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your 100 word dash certainly had me going. I read the first two lines, then stopped to look for the sexual content warning. :) A very clever story, I must say.

Very well written, non-erotic write, JMDG1954.

Congralations on your win! It is well deserved. Take care. Alana

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
    Thank you do much for a great review
    Always appreciated.

    John
Comment from Dashjianta
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a clever play on words, misleading the reader into thinking something other than a visit to the dentist is going on.

However, once you strip it down, there's no real conflict/resolution to the story, so whilst it is clever, it didn't really engage me. (Just my personal reaction, of course.)

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
    No problem. Many other readers voted and I won the contest. Sometimes one reads for enjoyment and not necessarily in "review" mode.
    Site stipulates reviews of 4 stars and under should include corrections and suggestions. Yours would be...?
reply by Dashjianta on 06-Apr-2015
    That it needs some conflict and resolution to turn it from a clever play on words to a story.
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A clever dash in one hundred words. A lot to fit in, in such a small space.
Congratulations on the win. Well written, good surprise ending.
Excellent

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
    Thank you, rs. I appreciate it very much.

    John
Comment from Tatarka2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So clever. Congratulations on having won this contest. It's well-deserved, with this surprising entry. I can't think of a thing I would suggest you change. Again, congratulations.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Tatarka2.
    Glad you stopped by.

    John
Comment from Zebeljan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

hahaha! i love it. i was really confused as to were it was going. i was thinking "theres no warning as to mature content" a really well done piece my friend. congratulations on your win

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    Thank you very much, Z, I appreciate you taking the time to read SNF review this.
    Also, I thank you for the generous six starcreward. John
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very cute, certainly a surprise ending. Congratulations on the win.

You took the prompt and followed it through smoothly. It doesn't seem at all to be "chopped" to make the 100 words.

The picture was perfect to go with it!

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    For all the good accolades and any ommision on improvement (as required), I'm surprised with the four stars.
    Hey. I won the contest.

    John
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 05-Apr-2015
    Sorry, John. Sometimes i put one thing on the stars and it registers something else. That's what happens when you use an iPad. Go back and check. I changed it! So sorry, I loved the story.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    I completely understand. I use my iPhone to do most of my FanStory work and it is a pain. Thank you.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Clever use of words to create a situation of double entendre. Good job of carrying the charade through to the end, when the dentist office setting is finally revealed. Made me smile.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    Debbie, I'm glad it made you smile. John
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

a clever 100 word dash,
keeping us guessing throughout,
until the little twist in the tail
at the end.

no wonder it was the winner - congratulations, my friend.


Margaret

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    Thank you very much. Margaret. I appreciate your stopping to read. John
Comment from billscott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Clever. Very clever play on words. I wonder how many men rated you. My guess is, more than women did. LOL.

Yes, I'm a guy.

How could I not appreciate your oral effort?

LOL

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    Than you Bill for that great review. John