Beautiful Death
Viewing comments for Chapter 10001 "King of the Road"from birth I have longed for death
6 total reviews
Comment from TOMORAL
This is a fine recap of your youth, with a little love struck teenager. I love the song, "King of the Road." I too, have memories of someone like LD, I guess every girl does.
Needs some Spag work, but otherwise a good story.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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This is a fine recap of your youth, with a little love struck teenager. I love the song, "King of the Road." I too, have memories of someone like LD, I guess every girl does.
Needs some Spag work, but otherwise a good story.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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Thank you!
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate, this is another great chapter from you interesting life. It must have been so hard on the women to just sit back and watch. Mine would flog me I think LOL. A suggestion....
"he(was always) talking of rebuilding on the same land."
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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G'day mate, this is another great chapter from you interesting life. It must have been so hard on the women to just sit back and watch. Mine would flog me I think LOL. A suggestion....
"he(was always) talking of rebuilding on the same land."
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Thank you again!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was excellent. Well written and enjoyable. You have a natural dialogue with the reader. You use the first person narrative so well. Easy to read, an enjoyable story, and so well told!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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I thought this was excellent. Well written and enjoyable. You have a natural dialogue with the reader. You use the first person narrative so well. Easy to read, an enjoyable story, and so well told!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you!
Your reviews always encourage me.
Comment from Green_Jello
An interesting story you have written, even more so because it was factual. There were a couple things I noticed while reviewing.
The line where you have "we were up to the top of the hill," I believe 'to' should be 'on'
The line where you have "He showed me his family's land with old home nearly destroyed talking of rebuilding." sounds fragmented, like words are missing from it so I was not sure what you were trying to say.
Minor things that can be easily fixed so great job overall!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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An interesting story you have written, even more so because it was factual. There were a couple things I noticed while reviewing.
The line where you have "we were up to the top of the hill," I believe 'to' should be 'on'
The line where you have "He showed me his family's land with old home nearly destroyed talking of rebuilding." sounds fragmented, like words are missing from it so I was not sure what you were trying to say.
Minor things that can be easily fixed so great job overall!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you for the review, I go next to try to apply your suggestions.
Comment from patcelaw
This is an enjoyable read. When we were young I believe we did have some protection from outside of our foolish selves. Maybe a bit of luck too. Patricia
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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This is an enjoyable read. When we were young I believe we did have some protection from outside of our foolish selves. Maybe a bit of luck too. Patricia
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you!
Comment from fafa
I feel interested in this story so well few, it seems to me of an extraordinary sensibility and I do not believe it is necessary to do changes, greetings and blessings to him
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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I feel interested in this story so well few, it seems to me of an extraordinary sensibility and I do not believe it is necessary to do changes, greetings and blessings to him
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much!
I was the silly girl, this was my first crush.
Also thank you for forgiving my mistakes.
