Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

great pairing of artwork and poem, which is in good tanka form
I am not a fan of letting a word hang at the end of a line just to satisfy syllable count, like - to provide an
good pairing of exhilarating and experience
good consonance of X sounds in final three lines
vividly descriptive
Brooke

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015

Thank you, Brooke, for giving this a look. Bill

Comment from GBTEXT

Excellent

"Vacation on Mars" is a reminisce of an wonderful experience out there. It says Mars is "remote" as much as its view is "exhilarating" and so lasting in the memory.The simple poem is crafted in the rhyme pattern that embellish the five line structure.Since the experience is guaranteed, it suggests pride on the part of the poet, and self fulfillment during the time spent.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015

Thank you, GB, for giving this a look. Bill

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Remote location
guaranteed to provide an
exhilarating
experience that lasts
until asphyxiation

I'm still laughing. This was clever, yet direct.

Nicely done. John

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015

Thank you, John, for giving his a look. Bill