Runaway
A trip going wrong2 total reviews
Comment from Helena Frances
Hi, I'm new on FS and hope it's okay to make specific suggestions--no offense intended.
I think the first paragraph would be stronger if you started with "The locomotive had an aggressive....." then incorporate your other descriptions.
Good job.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Hi, I'm new on FS and hope it's okay to make specific suggestions--no offense intended.
I think the first paragraph would be stronger if you started with "The locomotive had an aggressive....." then incorporate your other descriptions.
Good job.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thank you very much. Ulla
Comment from Ian Dyer
Okay opening, but I would like to know more of the train, you know, colour, shape that kind of thing. Apart from that though I am intrigued.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Okay opening, but I would like to know more of the train, you know, colour, shape that kind of thing. Apart from that though I am intrigued.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thanks, appreciate your suggestion but had only had 200 words to play with. Ulla