A Tribute To Mom (Maggaw)
The death of a loved one is very depressing at any age.52 total reviews
Comment from GWinterwin
Very good poem with good word flow and rhyming. This poem is a great tribute to mom, and just how much she means to a family. It is very easy to read, and understand.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Very good poem with good word flow and rhyming. This poem is a great tribute to mom, and just how much she means to a family. It is very easy to read, and understand.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind remarks and wonderful rating.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Q,
You did such a good job with this writing challenge. Your piece is exploding with emotion.
I actually do believe that our loved ones still visit us after they pass. If we're sensitive enough, we can feel their presence. This is nicely written.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Hi Q,
You did such a good job with this writing challenge. Your piece is exploding with emotion.
I actually do believe that our loved ones still visit us after they pass. If we're sensitive enough, we can feel their presence. This is nicely written.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 14-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating. I'm not sure if I believe that the spirit of our loved ones might hang around once they have passed on....but, I truly hope so.
Comment from Bryana
Hi Quoiky! I love your poem, it has brought
memories about my mother. yes, I loved and
was loved specially by my mother. You are so
right, it's so painful to lose a loved one. I lost
my mother and seven years later I lost my husband.
Your entry is beautiful, I wish you good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Hi Quoiky! I love your poem, it has brought
memories about my mother. yes, I loved and
was loved specially by my mother. You are so
right, it's so painful to lose a loved one. I lost
my mother and seven years later I lost my husband.
Your entry is beautiful, I wish you good luck.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Wow!! Thank you for your six star rating! Thank you also, for your kind words. I'm very sorry for your loss, not only of your mother, but your husband. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I appreciate your comments more than you can imagine.
Comment from Dawny53
Wow.. this poem is definitely packed full of emotion.. making it a great entry for a feelings prompt..I enjoyed reading it, thought your rhyme scheme was very natural and never forced.. you never strayed from the content, an enjoyable read.. good luck to you in this contest..
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Wow.. this poem is definitely packed full of emotion.. making it a great entry for a feelings prompt..I enjoyed reading it, thought your rhyme scheme was very natural and never forced.. you never strayed from the content, an enjoyable read.. good luck to you in this contest..
Comment Written 14-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating. I'm glad you enjoyed my work.
Comment from mfowler
I'm usually not moved or even bother with nostalgic grief poems, but this quite different. It is an ode to a beloved mother and it bears the emotions of grief you felt for her with authenticity and compassion.
An ocean of joy and of pain
Memories long passed filled with laughter and tears
Times with mom I can never regain
But, it's so much more. It holds questions about mortality:
As each drop of life slowly trickles out
And the stage quietly fades to black
When death is silent and darkness lingers
And life offers no passage back.
It invites speculation about the great beyond:
Are you standing next to us, holding our hand?
When our burden seems not to subside?
Is your energy now part of the universe,
And it even glances at life's purpose. Personal intersects with philosophical:
We are owed nothing.
Not the sunrise tomorrow.
Time is something we are given,
Not to spend, lend or borrow.
Your use of imagery is excellent, particularly in the first verse where you invite people to read with a lyrical treat:
When the darkness of night is held back by the stars
And a soft glowing moon lights the skies
As if on the wings of a soft butterfly
It is then that my memory flies.
A very well written poem which I'm sure your family must love and I will remember it.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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I'm usually not moved or even bother with nostalgic grief poems, but this quite different. It is an ode to a beloved mother and it bears the emotions of grief you felt for her with authenticity and compassion.
An ocean of joy and of pain
Memories long passed filled with laughter and tears
Times with mom I can never regain
But, it's so much more. It holds questions about mortality:
As each drop of life slowly trickles out
And the stage quietly fades to black
When death is silent and darkness lingers
And life offers no passage back.
It invites speculation about the great beyond:
Are you standing next to us, holding our hand?
When our burden seems not to subside?
Is your energy now part of the universe,
And it even glances at life's purpose. Personal intersects with philosophical:
We are owed nothing.
Not the sunrise tomorrow.
Time is something we are given,
Not to spend, lend or borrow.
Your use of imagery is excellent, particularly in the first verse where you invite people to read with a lyrical treat:
When the darkness of night is held back by the stars
And a soft glowing moon lights the skies
As if on the wings of a soft butterfly
It is then that my memory flies.
A very well written poem which I'm sure your family must love and I will remember it.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Wow! Thank you so very much for the six star rating! I wrote this for my mom's funeral, and it was read by my tough, manly-man brother, who had not reviewed it before reading it. He couldn't finish, so my sweet, wonderful, young niece took her daddy's hand and finished it for him. My mom touched many lives and everybody loved her. Thank you.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Quoiky,
My mother's getting on in years, so this poem really spoke to me and touched my heart.
A gentle, introspective poem. The punctuation need a bit of attention, though.
Nice to meet you!
Sonali :)
And a soft glowing moon lights the skies(,)
Times with mom I can never regain(.)
What happens when a body dies(,)
When the soul, the spirit leaves?
Where does the essence of someone go(,)
When the living are left to grieve?
Are you standing next to us, holding our hand(,)
We are owed nothing(,)
Not the sunrise tomorrow(,)
Where time would seem not to exist(,)
We love you, (M)om(,) (n)ow and forever(,)
Even though we still often cry (,)
We're lucky to have loved and been loved by you(,)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Hello Quoiky,
My mother's getting on in years, so this poem really spoke to me and touched my heart.
A gentle, introspective poem. The punctuation need a bit of attention, though.
Nice to meet you!
Sonali :)
And a soft glowing moon lights the skies(,)
Times with mom I can never regain(.)
What happens when a body dies(,)
When the soul, the spirit leaves?
Where does the essence of someone go(,)
When the living are left to grieve?
Are you standing next to us, holding our hand(,)
We are owed nothing(,)
Not the sunrise tomorrow(,)
Where time would seem not to exist(,)
We love you, (M)om(,) (n)ow and forever(,)
Even though we still often cry (,)
We're lucky to have loved and been loved by you(,)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your comments and generous rating. You are correct about the punctuation. I'm usually a stickler about using correct punctuation, spelling, etc.... This time, not so much.
Comment from risktaker
I love the vivid scenes, the imagery, and the flow.I like the viewpoint and the message expressed. I relate to"We're lucky to have loved and been loved by you." "We are owed nothing." " My heart hold volumes of memories so dear." Thanks
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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I love the vivid scenes, the imagery, and the flow.I like the viewpoint and the message expressed. I relate to"We're lucky to have loved and been loved by you." "We are owed nothing." " My heart hold volumes of memories so dear." Thanks
Comment Written 13-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for reviewing my poem, and thank you for your kind words. Thank you, also for the generous rating.
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Comment from Ben Colder
This poem fits the contest rules for sure. It is tough to let go of a loved one, but life goes on and she would enjoy knowing you will do just fine. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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This poem fits the contest rules for sure. It is tough to let go of a loved one, but life goes on and she would enjoy knowing you will do just fine. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review and generous rating.
Comment from DALLAS01
When the darkness of night is held back by the stars
And a soft glowing moon lights the skies
As if on the wings of a soft butterfly
It is then that my memory flies.
I love the imagery in this opening stanza. It creatives a vivid visual.
You poem is pregnant with raw, honest emotion and touches on the shared pain of loss, something we can all relate to.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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When the darkness of night is held back by the stars
And a soft glowing moon lights the skies
As if on the wings of a soft butterfly
It is then that my memory flies.
I love the imagery in this opening stanza. It creatives a vivid visual.
You poem is pregnant with raw, honest emotion and touches on the shared pain of loss, something we can all relate to.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Quoiky, I can definitely relate to your beautiful poem, Having recently lost my own daughter your wonderful words really resonated with me, thank you for sharing and I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Hi Quoiky, I can definitely relate to your beautiful poem, Having recently lost my own daughter your wonderful words really resonated with me, thank you for sharing and I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating. I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Many hugs!!
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You are welcome my friend and thank you.
