Comment from SimplyK

Good

I thought this was a very sensitive poem about time passing, and I appreciated the careful language. I really liked some of the very different imagery such as silhouette breaks the norm, it was unusual and not tired. However I admit to finding some of the lines unclear, example Ghost do not die old words now lost appeared I read this as 'Ghost - do not die,' old words now lost appeared but at first reading my brain got stuck because of present tense, past tense and no punctuation so it didn't make sense I really had to think about it. Also the lead Will you... led me to be confused at no question mark. You probably have some really good reason for no punctuation but also just be aware that your reader doesn't always have your understanding of your meaning... perhaps this is prosaic of me but it is how I experienced it all best

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2015

Comment from honeytree

Excellent

Great art work for the words written
We are born and we grow as we grow we
meet others within our lives who have passed on
We still remember them.

honeytree

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2015