Lady Lily
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Lady Lily and the Wizard 6"fantasy poem
22 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your six-syllable lines and rhythm plus your rhymes in this fantasy poem. Your use of dialog was very effective and the artwork was a perfect accompaniment. Thank you for "celebrating life's renewal" with your "magic creatures". Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
  |
I admired your six-syllable lines and rhythm plus your rhymes in this fantasy poem. Your use of dialog was very effective and the artwork was a perfect accompaniment. Thank you for "celebrating life's renewal" with your "magic creatures". Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 05-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
-
How delightful to find a review this morning. I didn't have anything active so it was unexpected. Thank you for mentioning the dialog. I wondered if it would work or not. I am happy to hear you enjoyed this little story. I wrote it as a gift for my five year old niece so I hope she likes it too. Thank you, Joan. Have a wonderful day! Debi
-
I'm sure your niece will be mesmerized by the story. Smiles- Joan
Comment from lakeport
Lady Lily and the Wizard, indeed that's a wonderful magical fairy tale. very nice rhyming and flow, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you, Hugs! lakeport.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2015
|
Lady Lily and the Wizard, indeed that's a wonderful magical fairy tale. very nice rhyming and flow, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you, Hugs! lakeport.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2015
-
Thank you for the kind words, Lakeport. I appreciate the encouragement.
-
you are very welcome. Hugs! lakeport.
Comment from Brabazon
Thanks for giving me the chance to experience what i may describe as a prose/poetry medley.
This is about a hero, Lily who saved a the kingdom of Lore from the villain, Joe.
As always, this style will give me a leeway, one day.
Thanks again.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
|
Thanks for giving me the chance to experience what i may describe as a prose/poetry medley.
This is about a hero, Lily who saved a the kingdom of Lore from the villain, Joe.
As always, this style will give me a leeway, one day.
Thanks again.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. I like your description of a prose/poetry medley. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review, especially since it it the finale of the story.
Comment from Dom G Robles
I found this poem to be amusing. It is better to read it aloud to appreciate its beauty and meaning. The rhyme and rhythm is great. It is a good reading material for kids or students in the lower grades. I'm pretty sure, they will be amused as I am. Congratulations. Dom
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
|
I found this poem to be amusing. It is better to read it aloud to appreciate its beauty and meaning. The rhyme and rhythm is great. It is a good reading material for kids or students in the lower grades. I'm pretty sure, they will be amused as I am. Congratulations. Dom
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
-
Thank you for the kind comments. I am happy you liked this verse, especially reading it aloud. I appreciate encouragement.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Deb. I had forgotten how unique your writing is...One would usually see this type of story in prose form...like a novel or something. I give you credit for being different and good at it:
"Lightning struck; the wild winds faded.
Fearsome Joe was seen no more.
Stunned, the creatures turned to Lily.
"What about the Kingdom Lore?"
"The enchantments can't be broken."
"Without Joe there is no cure."
Strong verbs carry your story very well. Bravo!
Bob
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
|
Hi, Deb. I had forgotten how unique your writing is...One would usually see this type of story in prose form...like a novel or something. I give you credit for being different and good at it:
"Lightning struck; the wild winds faded.
Fearsome Joe was seen no more.
Stunned, the creatures turned to Lily.
"What about the Kingdom Lore?"
"The enchantments can't be broken."
"Without Joe there is no cure."
Strong verbs carry your story very well. Bravo!
Bob
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
-
Hi Bob. Thank you for the kind comments. Honestly, I intended this to be a short 17 line poem for a contest and it just kind of took on a life of its own. If I'd known it was going to be so long I would have written it in prose. Last I counted it was 1550 words--certainly a short story in length. Whew!
Comment from Walu Feral
H'day mate. I have no idea about the different forms you mentioned but what I do know is that you exelled with this poem and the ones I have read before it. It is very easily read and holds the story well. Very enjoyable, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
|
H'day mate. I have no idea about the different forms you mentioned but what I do know is that you exelled with this poem and the ones I have read before it. It is very easily read and holds the story well. Very enjoyable, cheers Fez
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
-
Hi friend. I appreciate you following the last few chapters of the story. I am happy you enjoyed reading it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and deliver such encouraging comments. I appreciate it.
Comment from adewpearl
more good steady trochaic meter and enjambment make this such a pleasure to read out loud
good alliteration like a curse of Krell
strong rhymes throughout
love the happy ending - congratulations on writing this story poem in such consistent meter and rhyme while keeping the story engaging :-) The six is for the whole darned thing, all parts :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
 |
more good steady trochaic meter and enjambment make this such a pleasure to read out loud
good alliteration like a curse of Krell
strong rhymes throughout
love the happy ending - congratulations on writing this story poem in such consistent meter and rhyme while keeping the story engaging :-) The six is for the whole darned thing, all parts :-) Brooke
Comment Written 02-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
-
WOW! I got a six from Brooke! THANK YOU! I know you do a lot of reviewing so those six stars are precious. This means a lot to me.
Thank you for teaching me trochaic meter. I never heard of it until I took your class. I do admit though, if I'd have known how long this story was going to be I would probably have chosen to tell it in prose. LOL
I appreciate the gracious comments about the writing, especially the meter. It took a lot of experimenting and rewriting--but you also teach that.
I love the comments: "consistent meter, rhyme? keeping the story engaging." I am doing a happy dance.
Thank you, Brooke! Debi.
-
:-)
Comment from Spitfire
What an awesome picture to complement the poem.
"Joe was tricked by magic visions
deep within the crystal stone.
In the realm that Joe has chosen
magic power can't be shown.
Now he's trapped within its borders,
all his spells are overthrown.
A clever way to explain how everything returned to normal. G
The realistic details of the weather helps the reader suspend belief.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
|
What an awesome picture to complement the poem.
"Joe was tricked by magic visions
deep within the crystal stone.
In the realm that Joe has chosen
magic power can't be shown.
Now he's trapped within its borders,
all his spells are overthrown.
A clever way to explain how everything returned to normal. G
The realistic details of the weather helps the reader suspend belief.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
-
Thank you. All I was sure of was that I wanted Joe to somehow make the decision that would banish him from the magic realm. Thank you for sticking with the entire story. I had no idea it was going to be this long. I appreciate the support and encouragement. Debi
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Debi - once more this is a captivating story poem - even without me truly "getting the meter" this is a wonderful work to read - fabulous imagery and great detail. I just loved your ending.
Excellent writing my friend -I loved it.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
|
Dear Debi - once more this is a captivating story poem - even without me truly "getting the meter" this is a wonderful work to read - fabulous imagery and great detail. I just loved your ending.
Excellent writing my friend -I loved it.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
Comment Written 02-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
-
Hi Maureen,
Thank you so much for the gracious comments. I am so happy you enjoyed this series and that you loved the ending. I appreciate your continued support.
Debi
Comment from ravenblack
Fearsome Joe, his final magic to become a whirlwind wreaking devastation across the land. But really, his power was illusion ( or illusory in his mind) and out of whirling butterflies, the queen. Excellent meter and rhyme and though I do not know the whole story, whirlwind to butterflies is a great ending.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
|
Fearsome Joe, his final magic to become a whirlwind wreaking devastation across the land. But really, his power was illusion ( or illusory in his mind) and out of whirling butterflies, the queen. Excellent meter and rhyme and though I do not know the whole story, whirlwind to butterflies is a great ending.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
-
Thank you for taking a chance on the final chapter in the series. I appreciate the comments about the story and the writing. Thanks for sharing your insights as well. Debi
