Tales Of Darkness And Light
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Grave Of Time"Finding Light Through Shadowed Paths
16 total reviews
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
WOW A SEAL OF QUALITY THATS PRETTY GOOD ,BUT......
THE WRITE WAS AMAZING AND THE PICTURE EXPOSES ALL YOUR WORDS CORRECTLY GREAT JOB I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A SIX IF I HAD ONE
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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WOW A SEAL OF QUALITY THATS PRETTY GOOD ,BUT......
THE WRITE WAS AMAZING AND THE PICTURE EXPOSES ALL YOUR WORDS CORRECTLY GREAT JOB I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A SIX IF I HAD ONE
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading and reviewing, Abby! I'm not active here these days. Appreciate your kind comments, and glad you enjoyed this.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from adewpearl
your poem is beautifully presented and in good sonnet form
strong rhymes in the pattern of the traditional English sonnet and steady iambic meter
I really like the idea of the grave of time
excellent word choices to convey a soulful mood, like entrapped/void/shambles
effective turn in line 9
good use of simile
a powerful closing couplet
Brooke
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your poem is beautifully presented and in good sonnet form
strong rhymes in the pattern of the traditional English sonnet and steady iambic meter
I really like the idea of the grave of time
excellent word choices to convey a soulful mood, like entrapped/void/shambles
effective turn in line 9
good use of simile
a powerful closing couplet
Brooke
Comment Written 09-Mar-2015
Comment from JudyS
Anupam, I love this poem! It's so well written and your choice of colors and artwork are simply wonderful. Best of luck with it. I hope you are keeping off of your poems in a book you will publish someday. Have a good one, Judy
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Anupam, I love this poem! It's so well written and your choice of colors and artwork are simply wonderful. Best of luck with it. I hope you are keeping off of your poems in a book you will publish someday. Have a good one, Judy
Comment Written 26-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Judy. Glad you could connect to this one. I'm just writing, don't have any plans of publishing a book. I think I've miles to go. I appreciate your encouragement. Thanks for the glowing stars as well. Enjoy your time. :)
Best wishes,
Anupam
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hi Anupam,
I appreciate the dark imagery in this reflective piece. Loved the flowing enjambments you used to develop the setting. However, I really liked the second quatrain for its thought about how our moments in life are erased and the inevitability therein.
Looks like a solid write, my friend, best of luck with this splendid entry.
Warmest regards, Bill
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Hi Anupam,
I appreciate the dark imagery in this reflective piece. Loved the flowing enjambments you used to develop the setting. However, I really liked the second quatrain for its thought about how our moments in life are erased and the inevitability therein.
Looks like a solid write, my friend, best of luck with this splendid entry.
Warmest regards, Bill
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for this wonderful review, Bill. I had this idea for quite a while in my mind, and it finally got worded. Feels great now hehe! Glad you enjoyed this one, my friend. Have a great weekend! :)
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from Dawny53
This is a brilliant sonnet.. written by someone who obviously knows exactly what they are doing! You start out with such loneliness.. and at the end are strong signs of hope.. to crave for now will spin my orb ahead.. nice! Good luck wishes to you!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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This is a brilliant sonnet.. written by someone who obviously knows exactly what they are doing! You start out with such loneliness.. and at the end are strong signs of hope.. to crave for now will spin my orb ahead.. nice! Good luck wishes to you!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for this lovely review, Dawny. I appreciate how you have noticed shift in tone of the poem. Thanks for your warm wishes as well. Enjoy your weekend! :)
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from Sasha
This is superb. It conveys such loneliness and despair. I love the lines:
The waves of loneliness have dragged ashore...
and,
A dream is like the moon which changes sight.
It fades, then grows, thus lightening the space...
This is an excellent entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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This is superb. It conveys such loneliness and despair. I love the lines:
The waves of loneliness have dragged ashore...
and,
A dream is like the moon which changes sight.
It fades, then grows, thus lightening the space...
This is an excellent entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sasha. That first stanza is my favorite as well. :) Hope you're doing well. Thanks for the gift of six stars as well. You're really kind. Enjoy the weekend. :)
Comment from pipersfancy
Lovely, ethereal imagery here, Anupam. I especially like your opening lines, with the beautiful enjambment.
A couple of word alternatives to consider:
While roaming 'cross these dismal sands I see
my footprints (washed away) by silver tides. - 'getting' the hard /g/ felt too harsh
Entrapped amidst this void I cannot flee
the layered shambles(; that which) darkness hides. - to avoid overuse of 'the'
But time revolves the life through black and white--
unveiling plays this mortal being must face.
A dream is like the moon which changes sight(;)
it fades, then grows, thus lightening the space.
So nice to read one of your sonnets! Very best of luck in the contest,
Christina
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Lovely, ethereal imagery here, Anupam. I especially like your opening lines, with the beautiful enjambment.
A couple of word alternatives to consider:
While roaming 'cross these dismal sands I see
my footprints (washed away) by silver tides. - 'getting' the hard /g/ felt too harsh
Entrapped amidst this void I cannot flee
the layered shambles(; that which) darkness hides. - to avoid overuse of 'the'
But time revolves the life through black and white--
unveiling plays this mortal being must face.
A dream is like the moon which changes sight(;)
it fades, then grows, thus lightening the space.
So nice to read one of your sonnets! Very best of luck in the contest,
Christina
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for dropping by, Christina, and for this helpful review. I got your concern regarding the hard G sound in that line. As the contest deadline is over, it won't be right to edit it now. Will edit it once the whole process gets over. I haven't written much sonnets, so it was a nice experience writing this. Thanks for your kind comments and good luck wishes. Hope you're managing well. :)
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from pearlecat
This is a cold and haunting sonnet painted clearly and yet maintaining mystery throughout. It's like a shadow of a clear vision. The opening line is my favorite " The waves of loneliness have dragged ashore
my soul," another great line is " as dreams explore
the grave of time to seek existence's flow." Your sonnet has the flow of waves of despair and loneliness washing up beautifully on shore in the last two lines.
An excellent write! Pearl
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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This is a cold and haunting sonnet painted clearly and yet maintaining mystery throughout. It's like a shadow of a clear vision. The opening line is my favorite " The waves of loneliness have dragged ashore
my soul," another great line is " as dreams explore
the grave of time to seek existence's flow." Your sonnet has the flow of waves of despair and loneliness washing up beautifully on shore in the last two lines.
An excellent write! Pearl
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for this lovely, insightful review, Pearl. I'm pleased to know you could connect to the flow of thoughts. That first stanza is my personal favorite as well.Thanks for the gift of six stars. Enjoy the weekend! :)
Comment from rjuselius
this is an exquisite piece of poetic art dear anupam! the imagery is quite breath-taking although the atmosphere is so morbid and eerie.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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this is an exquisite piece of poetic art dear anupam! the imagery is quite breath-taking although the atmosphere is so morbid and eerie.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Rebekka. It's been a long time since we last interacted. Will be back to active reviewing soon. I hope you're doing great. Thanks for the gift of sdix stars. Enjoy the day! :)
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from alizarin crimson
Dear Anupam,
This is a lovely Shakespearean sonnet. You are such a master of emotions and imagery. Sorry I don't have a 6-star rating. I have been reading some poems by Pearelcat and gave most of them to her.
I loved how you ended the sonnet:
To crave for now, will spin my orb ahead. (I think it's the best line in the sonnet.)
Other lines I liked:
The waves of loneliness have dragged ashore
my soul,..... (I love the enjambment here, it seems quite popular and effective these days to use enjambment and pull the reader along in the work)
my footprints getting washed by silver tides (lovely image)
Entrapped against this void I cannot see
the layered shambles (I like this word, "shambles")
In time's abyss... nice image
Lovely work, Anupam. Good luck with the contest. You are such a master!
Warmly.
A
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Dear Anupam,
This is a lovely Shakespearean sonnet. You are such a master of emotions and imagery. Sorry I don't have a 6-star rating. I have been reading some poems by Pearelcat and gave most of them to her.
I loved how you ended the sonnet:
To crave for now, will spin my orb ahead. (I think it's the best line in the sonnet.)
Other lines I liked:
The waves of loneliness have dragged ashore
my soul,..... (I love the enjambment here, it seems quite popular and effective these days to use enjambment and pull the reader along in the work)
my footprints getting washed by silver tides (lovely image)
Entrapped against this void I cannot see
the layered shambles (I like this word, "shambles")
In time's abyss... nice image
Lovely work, Anupam. Good luck with the contest. You are such a master!
Warmly.
A
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thanks for this wonderful, warm feedback, Alizarin. I enjoyed reading your thoughts about this sonnet. No worries about the star. :) Just more than happy to know you could connect to it.
I've just come in contact with Pearlecat. It'll be so nice experiencing the work of more free verse writers on the site. Yes, that first stanza is my favorite. I don't write much sonnets though, so I still have to sharpen my 'sonnet-quill'. Enjambment plays a very crucial role while framing a blank verse. I think there's a blank verse contest coming up too, so might try my hands at that.
Enjoy the weekend! I have to appear in a national level exam this Sunday. Then I'll be free of worries LOL! How's it in HongKong? It has always fascinated me. Glad to have come across you. :)
Regards,
Anupam