My Little Book of 5-7-5's
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "(Haiku) pigeons huddle up"2015
13 total reviews
Comment from emrpoems
excellent alliteration
Created vivid imagery
Superb pairing of picture and poem
Makes a complete sensible statement
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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excellent alliteration
Created vivid imagery
Superb pairing of picture and poem
Makes a complete sensible statement
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 20-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your great feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both! Kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment from Lulube
great photo Debra. did you snap this one? do I detect a little metaphor going on in this one? Great imagery with the senses as well as visual.
good luck in the contest
lulube
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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great photo Debra. did you snap this one? do I detect a little metaphor going on in this one? Great imagery with the senses as well as visual.
good luck in the contest
lulube
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Hi Lulube :) Thanks for your great feedback and good luck wishes :)
Not my photo, courtesy of fanartreview this one.... no metaphor either (although I could probably find one to fit it LOL!)
Love, Debs x
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welcome Debra, yep there's a metaphor./
lulube
Comment from rama devi
pigeons huddle up
as the cold night closes in
stray dog slinks away
Brrr...this paints a vivid portrait of the scene...viscerally tangible...in few lines. Well done! Superb alliteration of C and S as well as consonance of P and L. Souds super read aloud, which is not an easy achievement for haiku. True to form and a superb presentation with photo and color scheme to match the imagery, tone and theme.
Nice work!
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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pigeons huddle up
as the cold night closes in
stray dog slinks away
Brrr...this paints a vivid portrait of the scene...viscerally tangible...in few lines. Well done! Superb alliteration of C and S as well as consonance of P and L. Souds super read aloud, which is not an easy achievement for haiku. True to form and a superb presentation with photo and color scheme to match the imagery, tone and theme.
Nice work!
Love,
rd
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Hi rama :)
Thank you for your wonderful feedback. As always, much appreciated...
Love, Debra x
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Thanks dear Debra. Hugs and Smiles, rd
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. Birds know how to keep a little warmer. They can do it in more places while it is cold. The dogs do not have the energy to hassle them. Great work.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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I love the picture. I love the poem. Birds know how to keep a little warmer. They can do it in more places while it is cold. The dogs do not have the energy to hassle them. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Thank you Ellie for your lovely feedback. Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
Comment from dragonpoet
These few words give a strong image of what cold does. It brings living beings to huddle for warmth or go and find a warmer place to be if they are alone.
Apt artwork.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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These few words give a strong image of what cold does. It brings living beings to huddle for warmth or go and find a warmer place to be if they are alone.
Apt artwork.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Thank you dragonpoet, for your encouraging feedback and good luck wishes :) Kindest regards, Debra
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You're welcome, Debra.
Joan
Comment from misscookie
I like the photo you choose for your poem.
Those are some lucky birds to have someone to chubby up to trying to stay warm.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you are warm....LOL
Cookie
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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I like the photo you choose for your poem.
Those are some lucky birds to have someone to chubby up to trying to stay warm.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you are warm....LOL
Cookie
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Thank you miss cookie for your great feedback. Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
Comment from G.B. Smith
The pigeons would probably crap on the dog anyway. Just as well that he slipped away. I am not an expert on Haiku poetry, but I liked this and hope it does well in the contest
Bear
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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The pigeons would probably crap on the dog anyway. Just as well that he slipped away. I am not an expert on Haiku poetry, but I liked this and hope it does well in the contest
Bear
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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LOL! Thanks for your great feedback, Bear :) Kindest regards, Debra
Comment from krys123
Debra; I enjoyed your haiku very much and I'm impressed by its imagery which is very descriptive and expertly expressive. The first two lines were full of imagery and very interconnected while the third line satori summed up the concept of your haiku very much. Good luck in the contest and may the Lord be with you.
Alex
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Debra; I enjoyed your haiku very much and I'm impressed by its imagery which is very descriptive and expertly expressive. The first two lines were full of imagery and very interconnected while the third line satori summed up the concept of your haiku very much. Good luck in the contest and may the Lord be with you.
Alex
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Thank you Alex, for your great feedback. Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
Comment from Leineco
Very Nicely done Deb :-) Great juxtaposed images, an implied season (cold) and an interesting satori (there is comfort in numbers; the loner is left out in the cold) The definition of a great haiku :-)
(6 stars) = EXCEPTIONAL. I would buy this book. Excellent all around writing - both content and construction captivated me thoroughly.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Very Nicely done Deb :-) Great juxtaposed images, an implied season (cold) and an interesting satori (there is comfort in numbers; the loner is left out in the cold) The definition of a great haiku :-)
(6 stars) = EXCEPTIONAL. I would buy this book. Excellent all around writing - both content and construction captivated me thoroughly.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Hi lorraine :) Thank you so much for your great feedback and of course your generous 6 star award - truly appreciated!
I'm always unsure with haiku......glad you think I got it right :) love, Debra
Comment from gypsycaravan
i guess the dog realizes he won't win with a whole flock of them together. Either that, or he's going to go out and find more stray dogs to huddle with him to keep warm. Nice one, Debra.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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i guess the dog realizes he won't win with a whole flock of them together. Either that, or he's going to go out and find more stray dogs to huddle with him to keep warm. Nice one, Debra.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Thank you, gypsycaravan, for your great feedback :) Kindest regards as always, Debra x