Grandpa's Paradise Pie
Are we destroying our planet in the name of progress?21 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
I could not agree more. A mall over a forest- how the hell can anyone call that progress? As per your author notes, I think one of the major problems is how many were taught how to view nature, that God put the Earth hear for our use. We have to realize that we are part of the life web , that the earth was not given to us to exploit. We must be better stewards. Your descriptions of your grandpa's place- places like that are dwindling fast.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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I could not agree more. A mall over a forest- how the hell can anyone call that progress? As per your author notes, I think one of the major problems is how many were taught how to view nature, that God put the Earth hear for our use. We have to realize that we are part of the life web , that the earth was not given to us to exploit. We must be better stewards. Your descriptions of your grandpa's place- places like that are dwindling fast.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your generous rating and comments. You are so right, the cement over nature is NOT progress. I've tried to teach my kids how important it is to take care of our world, and they, in turn are teaching their kids. My youngest grandson (4) already knows which bin to put the recycled plastics in by the number on the bottom of the container. If everybody did that, wouldn't the world be a much better place...or at least a good start.
Comment from risktaker
Outstanding. I was surprised by the ending. the photo is awesome and appealing. the scene looks so life-giving. the story is creative and expresses the author's viewpoint clearly. I like the rhyme, tone, flow, and structure. Thanks
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Outstanding. I was surprised by the ending. the photo is awesome and appealing. the scene looks so life-giving. the story is creative and expresses the author's viewpoint clearly. I like the rhyme, tone, flow, and structure. Thanks
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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thank you for your remarks and kind...generous rating. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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ok
Comment from ravim
Very well written. You depicted Grandpa's Paradise Pie in all its wondrous beauty. The unique aspect of the poem was the question you pose at the end - that of destroying Nature for the dominant Man.
Very lyrical and heart warming.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Very well written. You depicted Grandpa's Paradise Pie in all its wondrous beauty. The unique aspect of the poem was the question you pose at the end - that of destroying Nature for the dominant Man.
Very lyrical and heart warming.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind remarks and generous rating.
Comment from mfowler
The message in this reminds me of Cat Stevens' 'Where will the children play?' Your build up via the idyllic imagery of your grandfather's vision and the sad reality of the poisoned world you found, is very good. When the tale turned to the trip, my head was completely turned as well. I wondered how you'd deal with the prompt as I read, but you did it in style. Excellent couplets are tied together by a good rhythm and smart rhymes. Some of your imagery is quite captivating:With branches perfect for climbing to the top to grab some stars.
Some smacks of sad reality:But, most of 'em were shot and some are in zoos. Elimination wasn't too hard.
I really enjoyed your work and I hope it goes well in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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The message in this reminds me of Cat Stevens' 'Where will the children play?' Your build up via the idyllic imagery of your grandfather's vision and the sad reality of the poisoned world you found, is very good. When the tale turned to the trip, my head was completely turned as well. I wondered how you'd deal with the prompt as I read, but you did it in style. Excellent couplets are tied together by a good rhythm and smart rhymes. Some of your imagery is quite captivating:With branches perfect for climbing to the top to grab some stars.
Some smacks of sad reality:But, most of 'em were shot and some are in zoos. Elimination wasn't too hard.
I really enjoyed your work and I hope it goes well in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind comments and generous rating. I'm glad you enjoyed my work.
Comment from MelB
Nice rhyme and flow. This made me sad, as we are killing off nature for strip malls! How many strip malls do we really need anyway? I liked reading the descriptions of Grandpa's paradise pie and wishing we could go back to that way of life. It does not look like we are going to survive the progress of man!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Nice rhyme and flow. This made me sad, as we are killing off nature for strip malls! How many strip malls do we really need anyway? I liked reading the descriptions of Grandpa's paradise pie and wishing we could go back to that way of life. It does not look like we are going to survive the progress of man!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind comments and generous review.
Comment from GWinterwin
Great poem with a beautiful picture to tell of Grandpa's pie. Good word flow and rhyming telling of how our natural resources are slowly but surely slipping away. Something we all should think about.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Great poem with a beautiful picture to tell of Grandpa's pie. Good word flow and rhyming telling of how our natural resources are slowly but surely slipping away. Something we all should think about.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating.
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
This poem very mush reminds me of the questions and comments posed by the singers John Pryne and Joni Mitchel in a couple of songs they sang some years back. Unfortunately, similar stories are being told many times over of lost paradise. Man seems to be bent on using all the best of nature till he uses it all up. Sad....... Sounds to me like you got a good deal of your grandpa in ya. Good, we need folks like you. Feeling bad about this loss is a good thing. If nothing else it is a good reminder for us to protect and preserve those things that mean the most to us. At least then we won't be self-destructive. Maybe we can't control what the rest of the world does, but we sure as hell can control what we do. Enjoyed your poem very much. joe
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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This poem very mush reminds me of the questions and comments posed by the singers John Pryne and Joni Mitchel in a couple of songs they sang some years back. Unfortunately, similar stories are being told many times over of lost paradise. Man seems to be bent on using all the best of nature till he uses it all up. Sad....... Sounds to me like you got a good deal of your grandpa in ya. Good, we need folks like you. Feeling bad about this loss is a good thing. If nothing else it is a good reminder for us to protect and preserve those things that mean the most to us. At least then we won't be self-destructive. Maybe we can't control what the rest of the world does, but we sure as hell can control what we do. Enjoyed your poem very much. joe
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating. And you're right...this happens way too often. I'm glad you enjoyed my work.
Comment from Leineco
An interesting piece on the power of nostalgia. . .and facing the realities of how times have changed. Although America is a huge country (with literally millions upon millions of acres of wilderness, there is no doubt the ratio of nature to developed land shifts regularly (man does love to huddle together, and for the vast majority of our population "country living" is slowly eroding). National Parks and Wilderness areas are a great hedge against urbanization. . .but, like you, I wonder if we have inured ourself to the absolute wonder of Nature's offerings.
(5 stars) = EXCELLENT. I would recommend this to a friend! I enjoyed the read and found both the content and the construction admirably accomplished.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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An interesting piece on the power of nostalgia. . .and facing the realities of how times have changed. Although America is a huge country (with literally millions upon millions of acres of wilderness, there is no doubt the ratio of nature to developed land shifts regularly (man does love to huddle together, and for the vast majority of our population "country living" is slowly eroding). National Parks and Wilderness areas are a great hedge against urbanization. . .but, like you, I wonder if we have inured ourself to the absolute wonder of Nature's offerings.
(5 stars) = EXCELLENT. I would recommend this to a friend! I enjoyed the read and found both the content and the construction admirably accomplished.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating. I love living in the country, even with bad internet connection, and shoveling snow 6 ft. deep Well, maybe I don't love that part so much, but I can tolerate it to be able to live here.
Comment from Glasstruth
This has such a beautiful serene feel to it. Love how you described the animals and the scenery around them. There's a definite message here, and what will we leave our children? A beautiful world or one that's destroyed? Well crafted. Les
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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This has such a beautiful serene feel to it. Love how you described the animals and the scenery around them. There's a definite message here, and what will we leave our children? A beautiful world or one that's destroyed? Well crafted. Les
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating.
Comment from c_lucas
The Earth is becoming over populated and Mother Nature is suffering. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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The Earth is becoming over populated and Mother Nature is suffering. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and generous rating.