The Toast
It's a short trip from toast to roast17 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This was such fun to read. While I don't condone embezzlement, I applaud Joey for his clever, even humorous exit from what had to be 35 years of pure hell. Great work with this one, and thanks so much for the laugh.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
  |
This was such fun to read. While I don't condone embezzlement, I applaud Joey for his clever, even humorous exit from what had to be 35 years of pure hell. Great work with this one, and thanks so much for the laugh.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
So glad you liked it and wrote your kind comments. Looking forward to another ramble...soon, I hope? Dennis
Comment from jpduck
Nice one! I really enjoyed this -- by the end!
One SPAG and a suggestion:
"bid*d*ing fond farewell"
'opportunities to vent their own feelings of inadequateness' (I think 'inadequacy' would be better).
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
 |
Nice one! I really enjoyed this -- by the end!
One SPAG and a suggestion:
"bid*d*ing fond farewell"
'opportunities to vent their own feelings of inadequateness' (I think 'inadequacy' would be better).
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
Thank you for your kind comments and for catching the spag! Will make the corrections, post haste! DEnnis
Comment from gypsycaravan
Not only was this EXTREMELY well-written with not even one teeny-tiny little typo or spag to distract the reader, it was by far the best twist I've read in a short story in a long time. The emotion in that room actually breathed during and after the roast. Now, a question. Since all the money was replaced, do you think his short term borrowing was illegal and still punishable by law? I wonder. Might even warrant a follow-up to this magnificent story. Great job, Dennis.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
|
Not only was this EXTREMELY well-written with not even one teeny-tiny little typo or spag to distract the reader, it was by far the best twist I've read in a short story in a long time. The emotion in that room actually breathed during and after the roast. Now, a question. Since all the money was replaced, do you think his short term borrowing was illegal and still punishable by law? I wonder. Might even warrant a follow-up to this magnificent story. Great job, Dennis.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
Wow! Thank you for your wonderful comments. Very appreciated and valued coming from one of the better writers on this site. I'm sure it was illegal and I don't really know if he could have covered his tracks as well in real life as he did in this fiction.
His telling it like a giant put-on was devised to keep the hounds at bay. If they never look they will never see...and even if they suspect him, they still have to prove it. Dennis
Comment from CR Delport
Haha, good on Joey. That will teach all them jerks. This is interesting and very well written. I just noticed one thing. In the beginning you say Joey worked there 35 years, but when Joey talks it is 45 years.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
|
Haha, good on Joey. That will teach all them jerks. This is interesting and very well written. I just noticed one thing. In the beginning you say Joey worked there 35 years, but when Joey talks it is 45 years.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
Thank you so much, Christelle, for your comments and for picking up on the 45 year detail. I had decided to change from my original 45 to 35 and thought I got all of them. You are a good reader and from now on shall be known as Hawkeye! Dennis
Comment from Pyrrho
Delightful and presented in flawless narrative and dialog. I never have been to a retirement where gold watches are awarded for service and I know of no one who has had one given for service. Is it really done?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
|
Delightful and presented in flawless narrative and dialog. I never have been to a retirement where gold watches are awarded for service and I know of no one who has had one given for service. Is it really done?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
I'm told it used to be the norm, but now that you mention it ... well, Joey made enough to buy his own watch. :) Thanks, Dennis
Comment from royowen
I love it Dennis this was a most imaginative work, I enjoyed it from beginning to end, the characterisations were really good, the narrative was so smooth, there's nothing like a dull, colourless, boring reclusive guy getting the upper hand, in which dear old joey did in this beautifully composed and articulate work, as Christians we know that God raises up and gives more honour to the less comely in the flock, this proves it Dennis, well done, entertaining, blessings, friend brother, Roy.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
|
I love it Dennis this was a most imaginative work, I enjoyed it from beginning to end, the characterisations were really good, the narrative was so smooth, there's nothing like a dull, colourless, boring reclusive guy getting the upper hand, in which dear old joey did in this beautifully composed and articulate work, as Christians we know that God raises up and gives more honour to the less comely in the flock, this proves it Dennis, well done, entertaining, blessings, friend brother, Roy.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
Brother, your remarks are right-on...this is a kind of secular demonstration of the week and foolish being chosen! Thank you for your kind words, Dennis
-
Most welcome, Dennis,
Comment from Jomarch
I enjoyed the story very much. It started slow setting a good foundation and gradually built up to a funny finish. Descriptive grammar was used well, setting the scene. I always think that any story that can make me laugh out loud is a good story and yours did. Good luck with future writing. I look forward to reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
|
I enjoyed the story very much. It started slow setting a good foundation and gradually built up to a funny finish. Descriptive grammar was used well, setting the scene. I always think that any story that can make me laugh out loud is a good story and yours did. Good luck with future writing. I look forward to reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
-
Thank you so much. I'm glad it made you laugh and out-loud at that! Dennis
