Nature's Poetic Voice.
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Weather Change."A sensory appreciation of nature.
21 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
This is a powerfully worded write that brings the tension of the event to the forefront of the reader's imagination. Vivid word pictures throughout. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2015
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This is a powerfully worded write that brings the tension of the event to the forefront of the reader's imagination. Vivid word pictures throughout. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2015
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Thank you Gracie Ann.
I appreciate your time and generous review.
I am behind in reviews due to phone/ internet issuers.
I will catch up ASAP.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Sam Mendonca
You certainly did an excellent write describing your experience in the severe storm.
I would certainly hate to have been out in something like that.
Very well done. (Smile)
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2015
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You certainly did an excellent write describing your experience in the severe storm.
I would certainly hate to have been out in something like that.
Very well done. (Smile)
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2015
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Thank you Shirley.
I appreciate your review.
I am behind in reviews due to phone/ internet issuers.
I will catch up ASAP.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Nosha17
Storms are indeed very frightening events and that must have been difficult for you. Excellent use of descriptive language and rhyming to convey your thoughts. Lovely picture and most enjoyable. Faye
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Storms are indeed very frightening events and that must have been difficult for you. Excellent use of descriptive language and rhyming to convey your thoughts. Lovely picture and most enjoyable. Faye
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Thank you Faye.
I appreciate your thoughtful review.
"-) Shirley
Comment from kiwijenny
I am soooo glad you got home safe...I was caught in a storm on my way to work once...the car would not stay on the right side of the road...I thought I had to put it in the shop...I didn't know til I got to work it was a tornado....I saw my boss hunkered down behind the till and stuff strewn over the road..in front of the store...Duh but we New Zealanders aren't used to tornadoes...
Your poem was eloquent and beautiful.
God bless
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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I am soooo glad you got home safe...I was caught in a storm on my way to work once...the car would not stay on the right side of the road...I thought I had to put it in the shop...I didn't know til I got to work it was a tornado....I saw my boss hunkered down behind the till and stuff strewn over the road..in front of the store...Duh but we New Zealanders aren't used to tornadoes...
Your poem was eloquent and beautiful.
God bless
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Thank you .
I appreciate your review.
What a horrible experience for you.
"-) Shirley
Comment from l.raven
HI Shirley...I love the storms...but when I am in a safe place...I am so glad you got home safe...I love the way you described it in your poem...very well written and a beautiful picture...luff Linda xxoo love
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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HI Shirley...I love the storms...but when I am in a safe place...I am so glad you got home safe...I love the way you described it in your poem...very well written and a beautiful picture...luff Linda xxoo love
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Hi Linda.
Thank you for reviewing.
I appreciate your time and comments.
:-) Shirley
Comment from royowen
I note your an Aussie, there I are a few of us online, beautifully presented designed and composed work, the words and poetic language is eloquent and has great descriptive imagery, it almost felt like I was experiencing the storm with you, what part of Oz was it? Well done, blessings to you and yours, happy new year, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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I note your an Aussie, there I are a few of us online, beautifully presented designed and composed work, the words and poetic language is eloquent and has great descriptive imagery, it almost felt like I was experiencing the storm with you, what part of Oz was it? Well done, blessings to you and yours, happy new year, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Thank you Roy.
I appreciate your support and review.
Yes, I'm an Aussie too. I live about 30 kms south of the NSW /QLD border in a beautiful valley.
A very Happy New Year to you and your family also.
:-) Shirley
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We may have driven through there, a few years ago now, yes, a lot of the country in Nth. NSW, Queensland is very beautiful, but then, all of the coast road from North of Cairns to SA is very beautiful, we live near Adelaide, pleased to meet you, I know you reviewed some of my work, happy new year again, Shirley, to you and yours, Roy and Elaine Owen.
Comment from Sankey
This is really good. Describing some real life up there near the Queensland border where you are, right? Was the rain of use to your crops and stuff or are you already harvested? NO spags great job and I loved the picture you took to put on. Glad you got home safe. Happy New Year! Tell Erin hullo.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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This is really good. Describing some real life up there near the Queensland border where you are, right? Was the rain of use to your crops and stuff or are you already harvested? NO spags great job and I loved the picture you took to put on. Glad you got home safe. Happy New Year! Tell Erin hullo.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Thank you.
I appreciate your time and generous review.
Yes, the rain was most welcome.
"-)
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Praise God for the much needed rain Amen.
Comment from c_lucas
If you had timed it right, you could have earned so frequent air miles. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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If you had timed it right, you could have earned so frequent air miles. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
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Thank you Charlie for a lovely review.
I'm a feet firmly on the ground kinda girl. Lol.
Heck ! I don't even fly in a plane very often-not for me the Dorothy experience.
(From the Wizard of Oz)
:-) Shirley
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You're welcome, Shirley. Charlie
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Shirley,
This is a great poem. The old fashioned feel of the lines with the regular beat and rhyme scheme (I'm a sucker for those!) really work well to create and convey the atmosphere of tension, both within and without.
There is grandeur in the harshness of nature (when observed from a spot of safety, of course!).
Glad you and your daughter got back safe and sound. :)
Hope you had a beautiful Christmas. Blessings for 2015 - peace, joy and writing dreams-come-true!
Sonali
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Hi Shirley,
This is a great poem. The old fashioned feel of the lines with the regular beat and rhyme scheme (I'm a sucker for those!) really work well to create and convey the atmosphere of tension, both within and without.
There is grandeur in the harshness of nature (when observed from a spot of safety, of course!).
Glad you and your daughter got back safe and sound. :)
Hope you had a beautiful Christmas. Blessings for 2015 - peace, joy and writing dreams-come-true!
Sonali
Comment Written 28-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Thank you Sonali.
I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Happy new Year.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Dawn Munro
Shirley, you captured the very essence of a sudden storm, and it sure makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise - I swear I can feel the grip you had on that steering wheel! The rhyme is excellent, and meter, while not 100%, is close - example - the first line doesn't need "and" - the flow would be the tiniest bit smoother without it. (That "and" gives it an extra syllable that isn't needed - most lines are ten - that line is eleven syllables.)
Another example - the first line of the second stanza could be "Dust-devils dancing and swirling on by..."
It's really a fabulous poem, though - it's just that the syllable count is not all to consider either - the emphasis must be on the CORRECT syllable. I wish I could use the proper terminology to express this, but as you may know, I'm not formally trained in poetry (only music). But I'll try to give you another example to explain - first line third stanza - here's what I would suggest - "The air is so cold! Dark clouds are looming!" << minor, minor changes, but it keeps the stress on the right syllable (DAdum, DAdum, instead of switching - does that make sense?) In any event, this is SO close to a six!!! Fabulous poem, my friend!
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Shirley, you captured the very essence of a sudden storm, and it sure makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise - I swear I can feel the grip you had on that steering wheel! The rhyme is excellent, and meter, while not 100%, is close - example - the first line doesn't need "and" - the flow would be the tiniest bit smoother without it. (That "and" gives it an extra syllable that isn't needed - most lines are ten - that line is eleven syllables.)
Another example - the first line of the second stanza could be "Dust-devils dancing and swirling on by..."
It's really a fabulous poem, though - it's just that the syllable count is not all to consider either - the emphasis must be on the CORRECT syllable. I wish I could use the proper terminology to express this, but as you may know, I'm not formally trained in poetry (only music). But I'll try to give you another example to explain - first line third stanza - here's what I would suggest - "The air is so cold! Dark clouds are looming!" << minor, minor changes, but it keeps the stress on the right syllable (DAdum, DAdum, instead of switching - does that make sense?) In any event, this is SO close to a six!!! Fabulous poem, my friend!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Thank you .
I do appreciate your comments and suggestions.
I am not formally trained in poetry either, I'm just a natural rhymer.
I have only been sharing since last year so I do have a lot to learn.
:-) Shirley
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My pleasure. :)!