Age Of Enheavyment
Slightly Silly Spenserian Sonnet5 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
Absolutely brilliant. I loved every bit of it and your presentation of this sonnet in the old English that Edmund Spenser used was very, very impressive. Loved those lines:
Oh chin, why dost thou seek to quit my face?
Your ample folds acuiver, chafe my chest
lol. Those were super lines. Excellent satire on the one who is not aging aging so gracefully because gluttony is his biggest sin.
An award winning picture. Bravo! This was well done.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2014
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Absolutely brilliant. I loved every bit of it and your presentation of this sonnet in the old English that Edmund Spenser used was very, very impressive. Loved those lines:
Oh chin, why dost thou seek to quit my face?
Your ample folds acuiver, chafe my chest
lol. Those were super lines. Excellent satire on the one who is not aging aging so gracefully because gluttony is his biggest sin.
An award winning picture. Bravo! This was well done.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for the glowing review Yelena. My first try at a sonnet, so I decided to do a bit of miss-direction into the comedy realm. Actually, I really was inspired to write this after Steve's author's notes and it just popped out. It was an added bonus that you posted this contest just as I was putting it together. Thanks for sponsoring and I'm thrilled you didn't find any gaffes or glitches.
Comment from tfawcus
I think Queen Elizabeth's father, Henry VIII, had much the same sort of trouble, judging by the portraits of him. The well-rounded body was much in vogue in those days and even considered voluptuous in the case of ladies. I am making the presumption that the subject of your poem is a voluptuous lady, on account of the mention of sagging peaks.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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I think Queen Elizabeth's father, Henry VIII, had much the same sort of trouble, judging by the portraits of him. The well-rounded body was much in vogue in those days and even considered voluptuous in the case of ladies. I am making the presumption that the subject of your poem is a voluptuous lady, on account of the mention of sagging peaks.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Hello and thank you for taking the time to read and review my words. Yes, it is a lady as the artwork suggests, and like the Alps, her peaks have eroded with time. I also thank you for the stars.
Comment from adewpearl
excellent rhyming in good Spenserian sonnet format with the chain rhyme element
good use of enjambment
good use of consistent iambic meter
fun alliteration in phrases like tis time and tide and tacos
and nonce my naughty knee
entertaining humor and visuals
Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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excellent rhyming in good Spenserian sonnet format with the chain rhyme element
good use of enjambment
good use of consistent iambic meter
fun alliteration in phrases like tis time and tide and tacos
and nonce my naughty knee
entertaining humor and visuals
Brooke
Comment Written 01-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Thanks for the review Brooke. As always I appreciate the observances and learn from them.- Wendy
Comment from Domino 2
I'm not sure if the pointless squiggles at the bottom are meant to add to the 'silliness' (forced daft and irritating 'flowery' cuteness), but they do for me. :-)
I agree Steve's sonnet thoroughly deserved its win, even though it beat my equally 'magnificent' entry. LOL.
Top internal 'near' rhyme with 'apace/waist'.
Excellent and fun 't' alliteration in 5th line.
I had trouble pronouncing 'gnarled' as TWO syllables to meet the meter, but I guess they may have pronounced it that way in 'oldie' Shakespearean lingo. :-)
More great fun 'p' alliteration in 12th line.
Terrific meter, rhymes, enjambment and humour throughout.
I was thinking of entering, but this great fun and originally themed sonnet leaves me no chance, so I'll save my entrance fee.
Definitely deserves to contend strongly!
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
ADDED: BLAST! I MEANT TO RATE THIS WITH A 'SIXER', BUT I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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I'm not sure if the pointless squiggles at the bottom are meant to add to the 'silliness' (forced daft and irritating 'flowery' cuteness), but they do for me. :-)
I agree Steve's sonnet thoroughly deserved its win, even though it beat my equally 'magnificent' entry. LOL.
Top internal 'near' rhyme with 'apace/waist'.
Excellent and fun 't' alliteration in 5th line.
I had trouble pronouncing 'gnarled' as TWO syllables to meet the meter, but I guess they may have pronounced it that way in 'oldie' Shakespearean lingo. :-)
More great fun 'p' alliteration in 12th line.
Terrific meter, rhymes, enjambment and humour throughout.
I was thinking of entering, but this great fun and originally themed sonnet leaves me no chance, so I'll save my entrance fee.
Definitely deserves to contend strongly!
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
ADDED: BLAST! I MEANT TO RATE THIS WITH A 'SIXER', BUT I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Hey, Ray. Thank you for the thoughtful and thorough review. I do need to go back and re-do gnarled. Originally, I had written gnarly, but spell check decided I really meant to write gnarly (it just did it again when I spell checked this reply) and changed it for me (and here I thought I hit the wrong button. Bet that never happens to you . . .oh, wait.) At any rate, I didn't notice. I actually, at some point, opted for "naughty" but forgot to go back in before I hit release. So thank you for pointing that out and I really appreciate the time you took with this.
Comment from Nosha17
Good-humoured, light-hearted sonnet. I much prefer this to the love-sick ones! Makes a great change. Excellent rhyming and imagery, very tongue in cheek and a recipe for how to grow old gracefully or not so gracefully! Great picture. One wee thing, verse 2, tacos does not need apostrophe s. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Good-humoured, light-hearted sonnet. I much prefer this to the love-sick ones! Makes a great change. Excellent rhyming and imagery, very tongue in cheek and a recipe for how to grow old gracefully or not so gracefully! Great picture. One wee thing, verse 2, tacos does not need apostrophe s. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 01-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my words. Thanks, too, for catching the left over (it is food after all) apostrophe. It stuck around after I changed it from Taco's taste. I also appreciate the good luck wishes.