Like Precious Wine
Shakespearean Sonnet contest entry33 total reviews
Comment from ravim
The comparison of sonnet with wine is indeed compelling and beautiful. Between the lines, you touch upon the intricacies of both and try to present a mouthwatering option. The style is very original and unique. I really loved reading it. Congrats!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
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The comparison of sonnet with wine is indeed compelling and beautiful. Between the lines, you touch upon the intricacies of both and try to present a mouthwatering option. The style is very original and unique. I really loved reading it. Congrats!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the great review, ravim. I really appreciate the generous stars and congrats, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from acerisestory
Your sonnet is lovely, DragonSkulls, and I believe it's quite clear why you won the contest. I have to to tackle one, so your warning is clear. Perhaps I will become addicted?
The metaphor you've used is wonderful. If I learn to write a sonnet to perfection, I would hate to lose interest in the Haiku and the Nonet -- or would I? :)
Beautifully written, my friend. Thank you for sharing your talent! Alana
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
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Your sonnet is lovely, DragonSkulls, and I believe it's quite clear why you won the contest. I have to to tackle one, so your warning is clear. Perhaps I will become addicted?
The metaphor you've used is wonderful. If I learn to write a sonnet to perfection, I would hate to lose interest in the Haiku and the Nonet -- or would I? :)
Beautifully written, my friend. Thank you for sharing your talent! Alana
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much for the kind review and big sixer, Alana. Lol, yes, once you learn the secrets to a sonnet it becomes quite addicting but you never really lose interest in the other styles. I was just over-exaggerating, lol. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars, Alana. I'm humbled. I'm glad you liked the piece. If you ever want to tackle one and want a couple pointers just let me know. I'll be glad to help. Thank you again. Have a great day and Thanksgiving.
;)
Ron
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You are very welcome, Ron! Yes -- I may need you in the future :) You also have a Happy Thanksgiving, my friend! Alana
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Just give me a shout. Once you learn the little secrets they come fairly easily.
Comment from Dean Kuch
This was a superb sonnet, in every way imaginable, Poet 'X'. It follows the strict rhyme scheme, as set down by a Shakespearean sonnet, consists of 14 lines -- each line containing ten syllables and written in iambic pentameter -- in which a pattern of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable, then repeated five times. Your a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g; followed up with the rhyming couplet, is very well composed.
More than all of the technical mumbo-jumbo, I liked what it had to say, or the message that it conveys...
While we may grow quite adept through practice and perfection of one form or another, we should "lock ourselves in" to creating only that which we feel so comfortable doing. Take a chance, issue a challenge to yourself to write something outside of your comfort zones. And, by all means, keep an sharp and open mind.
Bravo...this was exemplary!
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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This was a superb sonnet, in every way imaginable, Poet 'X'. It follows the strict rhyme scheme, as set down by a Shakespearean sonnet, consists of 14 lines -- each line containing ten syllables and written in iambic pentameter -- in which a pattern of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable, then repeated five times. Your a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g; followed up with the rhyming couplet, is very well composed.
More than all of the technical mumbo-jumbo, I liked what it had to say, or the message that it conveys...
While we may grow quite adept through practice and perfection of one form or another, we should "lock ourselves in" to creating only that which we feel so comfortable doing. Take a chance, issue a challenge to yourself to write something outside of your comfort zones. And, by all means, keep an sharp and open mind.
Bravo...this was exemplary!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the outstanding review and big sixer, Dean. As always, I really appreciate the generous stars and kind words, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece.
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The pleasure was entirely mine. You're very welcome.
Comment from butterfly4265
This is excellent and incredibly clever! Very good descriptions concerning wine, its consumption, and its effect on the writer's creativity. I love the lines "Let every sip be savored and adored, while rolling off the tongue in playful tease." Very sensual. Excellent rhyming and very good flow from one verse to the next. Wonderful ending. Very strong contest entry and the best of luck!
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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This is excellent and incredibly clever! Very good descriptions concerning wine, its consumption, and its effect on the writer's creativity. I love the lines "Let every sip be savored and adored, while rolling off the tongue in playful tease." Very sensual. Excellent rhyming and very good flow from one verse to the next. Wonderful ending. Very strong contest entry and the best of luck!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review and good luck wishes, butterfly. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Domino 2
The 'haiku laying to waste'? God forbid - where would fanstory be without it? ;-)
I'm not sure about, 'playful tease' which seems forced, with respect, to meet the rhyme, as sonnets aren't usually 'playful'.
Anyway, your words do flow 'like wine', and this is a highly original and entertaining entry in excellent meter.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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The 'haiku laying to waste'? God forbid - where would fanstory be without it? ;-)
I'm not sure about, 'playful tease' which seems forced, with respect, to meet the rhyme, as sonnets aren't usually 'playful'.
Anyway, your words do flow 'like wine', and this is a highly original and entertaining entry in excellent meter.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the great review, Ray. I'm glad you liked the piece even though sonnets aren't suppose to be playful. I apologize for it seeming forced as well. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. And best of luck to you as well. I'm pretty sure you got this one in the bag. Have a great day.
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Thanks for your gracious reply - it was just the ONE word I thought was forced, and I could be wrong.
'In the bag' - I very much doubt that, but thanks for your kind encouragement.
Ray
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Oh come on, Ray. Your piece is clearly the best penned one of the bunch. And to appeal to all the old folks, that's win win scenario, lol. I'm only raggin' on ya about the forced word, Ray. I know it isn't 'that' forced. I wouldn't enter a piece into a sonnet contest if I dared to have a word that didn't flow with pure elegance, haha. Best of luck, friend. Now that you're in the lead you'll most likely hold onto it by that one vote. But I don't mind losing to your piece. Like I said, one of the best here.
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Thanks for your fun reply.
Whatcha mean, 'one of the best' - it's THE BEST by miles. LOL!
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Ha ha ha. That's the spirit.
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Cheers, 'R'. I thought I recognised your style and humour, so I checked out your portfolio to be sure.
I'd be particularly pleased (in the nicest way) to beat you, as I rate you definitely one of the best sonneteers on site.
Ray
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Well, I'd be happy with a tie, lol. Cheers to you too, Ray. I have to head to bed now. Have a good one.
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Me too, 'R'.
Mind you, we could both be overtaken by a haiku posing as a sonnet, at the last minute.
That would be doubly ironic to reflect your reference, and also in view of the fact that SEVEN entries have already been disqualified. :-)
Sleep well, my talented friend.
Ray
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Congratulations on your excellent win, Ron. I got 'done' again at the last minute, but I don't care anymore. LOL Cheers, Ray.
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Congratulations on your excellent win, Ron. I got 'done' again at the last minute, but I don't care anymore. LOL Cheers, Ray.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Kudos for making it this far without disqualification since many entries seem to have fallen to the wayside LOL. You deliver a gracefully stylish lesson in writing with this uniquely creative piece. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Kudos for making it this far without disqualification since many entries seem to have fallen to the wayside LOL. You deliver a gracefully stylish lesson in writing with this uniquely creative piece. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the great review, Mystic Angel. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from kiwisteveh
An impressive sonnet, the first two stanzas, especially. The metaphor of the process of wine-making is an apt one, with patience, skill and a feel for the subject being the main qualities needed.
Stanza 2 in particular, did indeed roll off the tongue.
Stanza 3 is perhaps weaker, with the need for a turn meaning attention is turned away from the sonnet. Also I think you have used 'lay to waste' wrongly at the end of this stanza.... or maybe I am confusing it with 'lay waste to...'
Then, the couplet - for me, the tone of admiration of the first two stanzas is totally altered here. Instead of a fine wine, you seem to be describing a cheap plonk. This is highlighted by the tone changing from the formality of the beginning lines to the colloquial 'wino' here.
Overall, still a skilful entry for this contest - form is perfect and the inward-looking topic successful.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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An impressive sonnet, the first two stanzas, especially. The metaphor of the process of wine-making is an apt one, with patience, skill and a feel for the subject being the main qualities needed.
Stanza 2 in particular, did indeed roll off the tongue.
Stanza 3 is perhaps weaker, with the need for a turn meaning attention is turned away from the sonnet. Also I think you have used 'lay to waste' wrongly at the end of this stanza.... or maybe I am confusing it with 'lay waste to...'
Then, the couplet - for me, the tone of admiration of the first two stanzas is totally altered here. Instead of a fine wine, you seem to be describing a cheap plonk. This is highlighted by the tone changing from the formality of the beginning lines to the colloquial 'wino' here.
Overall, still a skilful entry for this contest - form is perfect and the inward-looking topic successful.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review, Steve. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Eric1
This is an excellently penned sonnet, a perfect entry for this Shakespearean competition, it has the maturity of a good dessert and the lightness of a good aperitif, good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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This is an excellently penned sonnet, a perfect entry for this Shakespearean competition, it has the maturity of a good dessert and the lightness of a good aperitif, good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the great review, Eric. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Janet Foor
What a fun poem for the Shakespearean sonnet contest. I enjoyed reading each stanza. Excellent rhyme and perfect meter. the last line was brilliant.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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What a fun poem for the Shakespearean sonnet contest. I enjoyed reading each stanza. Excellent rhyme and perfect meter. the last line was brilliant.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review, jmf. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Writer
Obviously one of our Master sonnet writers. :) Perfect meter and rhyme, plus elucidating so exactly the skill of writing a sonnet. Great sentiments likened to the ageing of fine wine. Excellent metaphor which carries through to the last line. I've been told they can be addictive, once mastered. I'm just a newbie sonneteer and am always fascinated as I enjoy a great sonnet. I can identify great rhyme and correct for the form. Interesting metaphor
"Let every sip be savored and adored
while rolling off the tongue in playful tease." .... I love this line ... seems to sum it up .... the feeling when one reads a sonnet. You've also captured the "playful tease" in your own poem, as you refer to the "curse" and your warning couplet. "wino sonneteer" ... great wit, and humour. A great entry for the contest and I expect a contender for high placement. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Hi Mystery Writer
Obviously one of our Master sonnet writers. :) Perfect meter and rhyme, plus elucidating so exactly the skill of writing a sonnet. Great sentiments likened to the ageing of fine wine. Excellent metaphor which carries through to the last line. I've been told they can be addictive, once mastered. I'm just a newbie sonneteer and am always fascinated as I enjoy a great sonnet. I can identify great rhyme and correct for the form. Interesting metaphor
"Let every sip be savored and adored
while rolling off the tongue in playful tease." .... I love this line ... seems to sum it up .... the feeling when one reads a sonnet. You've also captured the "playful tease" in your own poem, as you refer to the "curse" and your warning couplet. "wino sonneteer" ... great wit, and humour. A great entry for the contest and I expect a contender for high placement. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Lovinia. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and kind words. I'm humbled. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again. Have a great day.
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Hi DS
It seems I often 'know' it's your poem ... yet I'm never sure. :)) The I go "aah ha" when I see your name. lol
Well done. Congratulations on your win. I thought it would be a toss up between yours, kiwisteveh, Domino and jmt ... not bad, I picked the top four ... do I get a prize? This is a credit to your sonnet writing skills. I was disqualified. I finally got the meter right (sooo hard - I'm meter 'deaf') and forgot to go back and correct my rhyme error. I enjoyed the process though. A great contest and some worthy competition. Hugs - Lovi xoxo