Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 126 "If I were a King"My thoughts about t
10 total reviews
Comment from harmony13
Excellent poem! The author's words are creative,
and filled with imagination. The author's notes are detailed and describe the construction of this poem. This poem connects and flows with the rhythm of the Blue Danube Waltz well.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Excellent poem! The author's words are creative,
and filled with imagination. The author's notes are detailed and describe the construction of this poem. This poem connects and flows with the rhythm of the Blue Danube Waltz well.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thank you harmony. I'm glad you connected with the Waltz.
Comment from Capricorn30
And play around with a rhythmic tempo you did well!
Good visuals:
"If I were a king, I'd sit on my throne":
"Our kingdom will shine":
The dreams of royalty expressed in well-penned thoughts of riches we all imagine;
It'd be a different world indeed if we could live like the splendor of our dreams.
A fun writing, a bit of commentary, a bit of fantasy.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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And play around with a rhythmic tempo you did well!
Good visuals:
"If I were a king, I'd sit on my throne":
"Our kingdom will shine":
The dreams of royalty expressed in well-penned thoughts of riches we all imagine;
It'd be a different world indeed if we could live like the splendor of our dreams.
A fun writing, a bit of commentary, a bit of fantasy.
Excellent!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thank you Margaret. Definitely whimsical.
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Now if I were King you would be my court Jester .. You would read your works of art and play a mandolin while we danced to da da da da Dum, da Dum da Dum That what I would do if I was King MR T.. You for sure would be in my court Gay or not hehehe
TK
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Now if I were King you would be my court Jester .. You would read your works of art and play a mandolin while we danced to da da da da Dum, da Dum da Dum That what I would do if I was King MR T.. You for sure would be in my court Gay or not hehehe
TK
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thank you Sir T. Then id get a unicorn named Bard and we'd have merry adventures.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your cadence, rhyme and regular syllable count in these quintains. I did miss one of your signature photographs, but I can't have everything! See how you've spoiled me!! However, the idea that "there'd be no fools" made up for the lack. LOL -Joan
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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I enjoyed your cadence, rhyme and regular syllable count in these quintains. I did miss one of your signature photographs, but I can't have everything! See how you've spoiled me!! However, the idea that "there'd be no fools" made up for the lack. LOL -Joan
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you Joan. I have some others with pictures soon.
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Yeah! ;) -Joan
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Interesting anda fine example of how manipulation of word and rhyme can produce something fresh and new.
A tale unfolds in stated rhyme and meter from beginning to end.
Very clever indeed.
Shirley
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Interesting anda fine example of how manipulation of word and rhyme can produce something fresh and new.
A tale unfolds in stated rhyme and meter from beginning to end.
Very clever indeed.
Shirley
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you Shirkey. Its so good to hear.
Comment from rod007
I love this poem as like many others I like to think there will one day be world leaders like your king. But alas is it a dream that'll ever come true? Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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I love this poem as like many others I like to think there will one day be world leaders like your king. But alas is it a dream that'll ever come true? Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you rod. Anything is possible.
Comment from adewpearl
like we planned - we'd rule the land like we had planned - for some reason that sounds better to me beat wise
excellent rhyme and meter
and a strong message of social commentary :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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like we planned - we'd rule the land like we had planned - for some reason that sounds better to me beat wise
excellent rhyme and meter
and a strong message of social commentary :-) Brooke
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you Brooke. Wouldn't it be nice
Comment from penmythoughts
The sing song tone of the poem is engaging thanks to the rhyme scheme.
A hearty poem with lofty ideals and good rhythm.The Mention of it is noteworthy and the clarification a necessity.The Imagery again pleasing
The logical aspect is probably the point to note as much as the structure of the poem is commendable the practicability questionable.
"We'd keep taxes low, for Heaven's sake. "
"'Would be grand."
As grandeur doesn't come cheap.
So a more detailed version of how would be desirable eg: progressive tax may help .
Lastly, why would a ruler wait for the queen to come alone?
P.S If the 'king' as foreseeing a monogamous relationship then it is also appreciable.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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The sing song tone of the poem is engaging thanks to the rhyme scheme.
A hearty poem with lofty ideals and good rhythm.The Mention of it is noteworthy and the clarification a necessity.The Imagery again pleasing
The logical aspect is probably the point to note as much as the structure of the poem is commendable the practicability questionable.
"We'd keep taxes low, for Heaven's sake. "
"'Would be grand."
As grandeur doesn't come cheap.
So a more detailed version of how would be desirable eg: progressive tax may help .
Lastly, why would a ruler wait for the queen to come alone?
P.S If the 'king' as foreseeing a monogamous relationship then it is also appreciable.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thanks penny thoughts. Several points well raised. I can think of a few good reasons to be alone with my queen. ;0)
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Anytime.Thanks to you too .:)
Comment from rjuselius
This is a fine piece of poetic art! I love the utopia you describe! If all could be from a fairytale..
Thank you for sharing!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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This is a fine piece of poetic art! I love the utopia you describe! If all could be from a fairytale..
Thank you for sharing!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you Rebekka. Wouldn't that be nice.
Comment from BeasPeas
Enjoyed your poem so much. That's what we need now. Good leadership that is for the citizenry. Let's get our kingdom back to shining again.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Enjoyed your poem so much. That's what we need now. Good leadership that is for the citizenry. Let's get our kingdom back to shining again.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you BeasPeas. I totally agree.
