The Virus
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Design"Changing the world's attitudes
2 total reviews
Comment from J Patience
They are referring to humans? Maybe they're aliens. The way they're talking about forming human society reminds me of how a corporation thinks they can make their individual stores work in the same way no matter where they are (it's come up as a sore point for me lately, so that's the frame in which I'm seeing things). The individual will is completely ignored. Humans can't be handled as a collective, there are too many dissimilar beliefs and tolerances, addictions and innocence. This is entertaining, to a point, but I was lost as to who was speaking - alien or maybe chicken, since that's the picture I see - and there was philosophy as required, which can seem sort of dry when that's all there is, so descriptions of people's reactions - facial expressions, gestures, etc. - would make this much more enjoyable. And - the lights were off all the time? I know the point was to get across the philosophy, but if it's categorized as also science-fiction, it should have a little more of that in there. Good ideas, though. Also, here are a couple errors I encountered:
Although we envision cooperation will be fantastic - I think that if you put "that" after "envision," it will read more smoothly.
other than may have been - than should be that, I'm sure you know. typo.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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They are referring to humans? Maybe they're aliens. The way they're talking about forming human society reminds me of how a corporation thinks they can make their individual stores work in the same way no matter where they are (it's come up as a sore point for me lately, so that's the frame in which I'm seeing things). The individual will is completely ignored. Humans can't be handled as a collective, there are too many dissimilar beliefs and tolerances, addictions and innocence. This is entertaining, to a point, but I was lost as to who was speaking - alien or maybe chicken, since that's the picture I see - and there was philosophy as required, which can seem sort of dry when that's all there is, so descriptions of people's reactions - facial expressions, gestures, etc. - would make this much more enjoyable. And - the lights were off all the time? I know the point was to get across the philosophy, but if it's categorized as also science-fiction, it should have a little more of that in there. Good ideas, though. Also, here are a couple errors I encountered:
Although we envision cooperation will be fantastic - I think that if you put "that" after "envision," it will read more smoothly.
other than may have been - than should be that, I'm sure you know. typo.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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The first four chapters are just a setup for the upcoming science fiction. Thanks for the in-depth comments...John
Comment from sibhus
Wow, wouldn't something like this be idealic. Homes that are efficent and comfortable, housing multiple groups while being earth friendly. this really sounds like a wonderful place to live, if only it could be. But, I think your right, it would take some sort of world-wide crisis in order to change our dependency on the capitialistic system. A wll written chapter with some really interesting thoughts.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Wow, wouldn't something like this be idealic. Homes that are efficent and comfortable, housing multiple groups while being earth friendly. this really sounds like a wonderful place to live, if only it could be. But, I think your right, it would take some sort of world-wide crisis in order to change our dependency on the capitialistic system. A wll written chapter with some really interesting thoughts.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thanks. I appreciate your reviews...John