Senryu contest (Painful tears)
A lesson in time out.15 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
Hi Steve,
As part of the Pay it Forward effort, I've come to your portfolio to find this senryu that needs only one more review in order to received Recognized status. ;)
And so, I've come to give that one review and I'm pleased to nudge this over into that status...
My kids had a "Time Out Chair", funnily enough, it's the ONE thing in the house they BOTH say the want for their kids... isn't that funny? They didn't want me to paint it, or change it in any way.. they wanted THAT chair. ;)
I've often wrote it the time chair chair, I think i called the poem, either The Chair, or the Time Out Chair, in either case, they actually have fond memories of it. ;)
I never had any fond memories of being disciplined by my father, as he was so extreme... things I won't even mention here, but I suppose my husband and I must have done something right if both kids remember with fondness those moments. LOL
This poor little kid looks a little sad, eh?
I enjoyed your senryu Steve, and thanks for your support this year...
Happy Holidays
Cat
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2015
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Hi Steve,
As part of the Pay it Forward effort, I've come to your portfolio to find this senryu that needs only one more review in order to received Recognized status. ;)
And so, I've come to give that one review and I'm pleased to nudge this over into that status...
My kids had a "Time Out Chair", funnily enough, it's the ONE thing in the house they BOTH say the want for their kids... isn't that funny? They didn't want me to paint it, or change it in any way.. they wanted THAT chair. ;)
I've often wrote it the time chair chair, I think i called the poem, either The Chair, or the Time Out Chair, in either case, they actually have fond memories of it. ;)
I never had any fond memories of being disciplined by my father, as he was so extreme... things I won't even mention here, but I suppose my husband and I must have done something right if both kids remember with fondness those moments. LOL
This poor little kid looks a little sad, eh?
I enjoyed your senryu Steve, and thanks for your support this year...
Happy Holidays
Cat
Comment Written 10-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2015
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Oh my goodness! That one was some time ago lol! I love the whole idea of paying it forward and I have done so, a few times already since reading your prompt! You have a wonderful heart that is undeniably awesome. We had a tomato stake that we called the board. When we did wrong, mother would make us bring her the board. We've all signed it and it is close to 50 years old now. My Father on the other hand would never spank us, only sit us down and talk to us for an hour. He made us feel like crap by telling us how disappointed he was.
We always preferred the board lol!
God bless and thank you for sharing your story and bumping this piece.
Steve
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My pleasure dear Steve! Thanks so much for sharing!
CAt
Comment from Charlene0513
A very good point. It would be much better to confront the child of their misgiving and allow them a chance to redeem themselves.
Charlene
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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A very good point. It would be much better to confront the child of their misgiving and allow them a chance to redeem themselves.
Charlene
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you Charlene for the awesome review and I do agree with the talking it out with them first. God Bless!
Comment from perpetualwallflower
This poem really captures a child having to sit in time out for doing something bad. You've done a really good job on this. Good luck in the contest, I'm sure you'll do great!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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This poem really captures a child having to sit in time out for doing something bad. You've done a really good job on this. Good luck in the contest, I'm sure you'll do great!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you perpetualwallflower for the awesome review and generous stars. Please feel free to vote! '
God Bless!
Comment from donaldww
This senryu is about children that sit in a chair crying painful tears. It adheres to the proscribed syllable count: 5-7-5.
There seems to be something wrong with the post. It has appeared under the prose section, but should be under the poetry area. This can be fixed by editing and changing the category to poetry.
Cheers, DW
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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This senryu is about children that sit in a chair crying painful tears. It adheres to the proscribed syllable count: 5-7-5.
There seems to be something wrong with the post. It has appeared under the prose section, but should be under the poetry area. This can be fixed by editing and changing the category to poetry.
Cheers, DW
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you DW for the awesome feedback. I went back in and changed catagory to writing, it did not offer poetry. This may be why i haven't had as many reviews as i thought i would .
Thank you again and please don't forget to vote.
God Bless!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
You have met the contest requirements nicely with this well penned piece. Yep, time out is tough on the youngsters. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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You have met the contest requirements nicely with this well penned piece. Yep, time out is tough on the youngsters. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you again my friend Mystic. I always appreciate your comments.
Don't forget to vote please.
God Bless!
Comment from Judith Ann
Oh, I can feel his pain. This is a great visual for your senryu. Nice flow and the meaning is evident. Good work - Judy
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Oh, I can feel his pain. This is a great visual for your senryu. Nice flow and the meaning is evident. Good work - Judy
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you Judy of the awesome review and feedback.
please don't forget to vote.
God Bless!
Comment from skye
Mischievous children
struggle learning from the chair
crying painful tears
I wish my foks would have known about "time out" instead of a switch, which I had to cut for myself. I always chose the smallest, which hurts the most -- LOL.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Mischievous children
struggle learning from the chair
crying painful tears
I wish my foks would have known about "time out" instead of a switch, which I had to cut for myself. I always chose the smallest, which hurts the most -- LOL.
Excellent.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you skye for the excellent review. I myself had to cut a switch until Mom starting using the tomato stake LOL!
Please don't forget to vote today my friend.
God bless!
Comment from adewpearl
you have categorized your senryu, which is a poem, as prose/fiction
your poem is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
you have followed this contest's requirements for a poem about human behavior
Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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you have categorized your senryu, which is a poem, as prose/fiction
your poem is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
you have followed this contest's requirements for a poem about human behavior
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you for another awesome review, I will go back and edit this category.
Please don't forget to vote today my friend.
God Bless!
Comment from ronnie k
A poem moving that spoke without words but the picture gave a clear universal message to me, we learn from the hard placing we place ourselves in,
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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A poem moving that spoke without words but the picture gave a clear universal message to me, we learn from the hard placing we place ourselves in,
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Ronnie K, your six star exceptional review is most appreciated. This is the 3rd one I have received on this piece. Your reviews are always appreciated and so informative.
Please don't forget to vote today if you liked it.
God Bless!
Comment from mikemagine
This senryu describes me when I was a kid...so long ago! And I'm still a troublesome kid:) I think a LOT of us writers were and are!
Peace,
Mike
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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This senryu describes me when I was a kid...so long ago! And I'm still a troublesome kid:) I think a LOT of us writers were and are!
Peace,
Mike
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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You hit the nail on the Mike, I just turned 50 this month and Mom says I finally turned 18 LOL. I always enjoy the humor you offer in your reviews Mike, thank you for that.
Please don't forget to vote today.
God Bless!
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Lol! Thanks for sharing your humor, too. I will vote now.
Mike
