Why Willow Weeps
Short Story-Contest Entry48 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
I like this story. It points out the needs and feelings of plants in the garden. One typo: "Well, there you are right there, Willow." I would suggest that you omit the first "there" since it's not needed and is confusing. I enjoyed your story.
  |
I like this story. It points out the needs and feelings of plants in the garden. One typo: "Well, there you are right there, Willow." I would suggest that you omit the first "there" since it's not needed and is confusing. I enjoyed your story.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
Comment from Charlene0513
This is very well written in narration of a plant(tree in this case)with her owner and the plight that she feels has been taken upon her and her friends.
Many times we take for granted what is good for is just the opposite for a plant.
Charlene
|
This is very well written in narration of a plant(tree in this case)with her owner and the plight that she feels has been taken upon her and her friends.
Many times we take for granted what is good for is just the opposite for a plant.
Charlene
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
Comment from mommerry
what a fun way to imagine these plants and trees as living beings with responses - with feelings - with knowledge of what their needs are. This was lovely and well done.
|
what a fun way to imagine these plants and trees as living beings with responses - with feelings - with knowledge of what their needs are. This was lovely and well done.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
I am stunned to find something of this quality in respose to this old prompt. This is a touching and meaningful piece. I was enthralled with every word. A sure winner.
 |
I am stunned to find something of this quality in respose to this old prompt. This is a touching and meaningful piece. I was enthralled with every word. A sure winner.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
Comment from dmt1967
This is a nice little story. There are just a few things, 'Well, (there) you are right there',I would delete the first {there) and 'You are (needed) to tell me of Oakley's need for more water' change to (need). Your character sounds very well spoken so I would say its out of character for him to sound like the small green guy from star wars half way through the piece. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014
 |
This is a nice little story. There are just a few things, 'Well, (there) you are right there',I would delete the first {there) and 'You are (needed) to tell me of Oakley's need for more water' change to (need). Your character sounds very well spoken so I would say its out of character for him to sound like the small green guy from star wars half way through the piece. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014
-
God help me! You think I sound like Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars? I don't think I've ever received a worse insult in my entire life. Hahaha!!!
Comment from Nosha17
Nurturing plants and treating them as living things is a wonderful thing. They need as much care as human beings. I liked the conversations with the plants in the garden, they are very revealing of the writer. Good use of metaphorical language and imagery. Enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
|
Nurturing plants and treating them as living things is a wonderful thing. They need as much care as human beings. I liked the conversations with the plants in the garden, they are very revealing of the writer. Good use of metaphorical language and imagery. Enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
Comment from amanda98653
"She tells tales of endless rain and searing summer heat. No wonder she weeps. Life is long for our kind. What is my reward for a lifetime of tears? What is my reward for knowing that Rose fears that her beauty will not be enough? Do you know that she worries constantly about her petals? You stand and stare in admiration. She trembles in fear, wondering if a petal is showing age at the tips"-- LOVE this!
I think we, like the personified plants, are all struggling to fit in. Sometimes our thoughts are twisted with so many raw emotions that we end up imprisoning ourselves in a restless state of mind.
One suggestion:
(In the ) underground there is only our thoughts
An exceptional write
Hugs
Amanda
|
"She tells tales of endless rain and searing summer heat. No wonder she weeps. Life is long for our kind. What is my reward for a lifetime of tears? What is my reward for knowing that Rose fears that her beauty will not be enough? Do you know that she worries constantly about her petals? You stand and stare in admiration. She trembles in fear, wondering if a petal is showing age at the tips"-- LOVE this!
I think we, like the personified plants, are all struggling to fit in. Sometimes our thoughts are twisted with so many raw emotions that we end up imprisoning ourselves in a restless state of mind.
One suggestion:
(In the ) underground there is only our thoughts
An exceptional write
Hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 05-Oct-2014
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You made the story very believable. I enjoyed the conversation between the woman and the willow. I felt sorry for the willow missing the mushroom. It made me think when you wrote that willow said everything was connected. I felt like I could 'hear' the conversations in the garden as I read the story. Good job and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
You made the story very believable. I enjoyed the conversation between the woman and the willow. I felt sorry for the willow missing the mushroom. It made me think when you wrote that willow said everything was connected. I felt like I could 'hear' the conversations in the garden as I read the story. Good job and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
