Windows To The Past
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Rancher's Daughter"Poems about the old West.
71 total reviews
Comment from Kerry L Batchelder
So entertaining. Well written with an excellent rhyming pattern. I loved the way you emphasized the wording with the country brogue. Very very cute!!! I loved the illustration as well!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023
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So entertaining. Well written with an excellent rhyming pattern. I loved the way you emphasized the wording with the country brogue. Very very cute!!! I loved the illustration as well!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the thoughtful review and stars Kerry. Have a nice day! Nancy:)
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
I love this very cute and funny poem. Beautiful photo to compliment your words as well. Very well done. Has a great flow and rhyme a very fun read indeed.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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I love this very cute and funny poem. Beautiful photo to compliment your words as well. Very well done. Has a great flow and rhyme a very fun read indeed.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the uplifting review Joanne. Nancy:)
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Your welcome 🙂
Comment from JT traveller
Extremely appropriate Nancy. Thank you for the giggles. I like be how the poem was written in your native tongue. It added to the hilarity.
A fantastic poem. Hope to read more from you in the future.
Jacqueline
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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Extremely appropriate Nancy. Thank you for the giggles. I like be how the poem was written in your native tongue. It added to the hilarity.
A fantastic poem. Hope to read more from you in the future.
Jacqueline
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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I am so happy you like the poem Jacqueline. I enjoyed writing it. I often wonder where these poems come from. LOL Thank you and have a wonderful day. Nancy:)
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a fun Irish romp. I think it has a believable voice, dialect, and story that harkens back to an earlier era. I noticed you have already done a fair amount of editing, and so I didn't see anything major to fix that I could tell. With one part: He played his game elusively,
but Pa knew of his priors,
now he repents exclusively
while riding through the briers.
I think I would put a semi-colon after priors instead of a comma, since there are two independent clauses there.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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This is a fun Irish romp. I think it has a believable voice, dialect, and story that harkens back to an earlier era. I noticed you have already done a fair amount of editing, and so I didn't see anything major to fix that I could tell. With one part: He played his game elusively,
but Pa knew of his priors,
now he repents exclusively
while riding through the briers.
I think I would put a semi-colon after priors instead of a comma, since there are two independent clauses there.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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Thank for the six and the edit Cookie. I enjoyed the review as well. Have a wonderful day! Nancy:)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You should have entered this into the contest Nancy as it would have been a sure winner. I loved the story, the rhymes, the clever use do of words and the expert metre that gave this poem such a magical rhythm. I wish I had a six for you as this pome is skilfully written and you are a talented poet, much enjoyed, one of the best poems I have read in a long time, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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You should have entered this into the contest Nancy as it would have been a sure winner. I loved the story, the rhymes, the clever use do of words and the expert metre that gave this poem such a magical rhythm. I wish I had a six for you as this pome is skilfully written and you are a talented poet, much enjoyed, one of the best poems I have read in a long time, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
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Careful you might make my head swell, Dolly. LOL I am so happy you enjoyed the poem. That means a lot coming from you.Have a wonderful day, Dear. Nancy:)
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You have a special talent Nancy and I meant every word of my review x x x
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Thanks again. Nancy:)
Comment from Michele Harber
This is so cute, Nancy, and I won't ignore the brogue because I love it. I enjoyed that you created three characters with distinct personalities: the roguish Finn, the no-nonsense Pa, and the not quite as innocent "wee lass from Killarney," who managed to rope Finn into marriage despite his never having touched her knickers. The brogue only adds to the poem's charm and believability.
Of course, it wouldn't be me if I didn't make my nitpicky grammatical corrections.
- The third line of the first paragraph should start with a lower-case "w," as it's part of the previous sentence.
- "[C]aught up in his blarney" is parenthetical, so there should be a comma before it.
- The same applies to "realizing pa had won," in the sixth stanza. The comma before it would not only separate the parenthetical phrase but tell the reader where to put the stress, so it's sure to read with the flow you'd previously established. Also, in this case, "Pa" should be capitalized, as you're using it as a title whereas, in "my pa," it was just offering clarification.
- The same applies to the next stanza, where "Pa" is also used as a title. Also, in that stanza, "Now he repents" is the start of a new sentence, so you need to punctuate and capitalize accordingly.
- Finally, I would break the last stanza into sentences and punctuate as follows:
The village gossips tell the tale.
It brings forth winks and snickers.
But let 'em laugh; truth will prevail.
Finn didn't touch me knickers.
Yes, I know, starting a sentence with "But" is not grammatically correct either, but it's the lesser of two evils.
As always, Nancy, I hope these suggestions are useful.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
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This is so cute, Nancy, and I won't ignore the brogue because I love it. I enjoyed that you created three characters with distinct personalities: the roguish Finn, the no-nonsense Pa, and the not quite as innocent "wee lass from Killarney," who managed to rope Finn into marriage despite his never having touched her knickers. The brogue only adds to the poem's charm and believability.
Of course, it wouldn't be me if I didn't make my nitpicky grammatical corrections.
- The third line of the first paragraph should start with a lower-case "w," as it's part of the previous sentence.
- "[C]aught up in his blarney" is parenthetical, so there should be a comma before it.
- The same applies to "realizing pa had won," in the sixth stanza. The comma before it would not only separate the parenthetical phrase but tell the reader where to put the stress, so it's sure to read with the flow you'd previously established. Also, in this case, "Pa" should be capitalized, as you're using it as a title whereas, in "my pa," it was just offering clarification.
- The same applies to the next stanza, where "Pa" is also used as a title. Also, in that stanza, "Now he repents" is the start of a new sentence, so you need to punctuate and capitalize accordingly.
- Finally, I would break the last stanza into sentences and punctuate as follows:
The village gossips tell the tale.
It brings forth winks and snickers.
But let 'em laugh; truth will prevail.
Finn didn't touch me knickers.
Yes, I know, starting a sentence with "But" is not grammatically correct either, but it's the lesser of two evils.
As always, Nancy, I hope these suggestions are useful.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
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Thank you my friend. Thank you for the edit, the review and the generous stars. I hope I changed everything as you suggested. I do appreciate the help on punctuation. I forget what goes where sometimes, caused by age not lack of education. LOL Hugs. Nancy:)
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You're very welcome, Nancy. I suspect they barely even teach grammar in schools anymore, and I'm not sure they ever taught punctuation properly. If not for one amazing text book I had in junior high, I'm not sure I'd even know what a comma was, let alone how to use it. I worked for 27 years in a public relations firm with a revolving team of bright colleagues who were fresh out of college, and not one of them could punctuate worth a darn. My point is that you're in good company.
Hugs right back to you, and enjoy the rest of your week.
Comment from Mastery
Hello, my friend. Indeed, I like this poetry.
Especially this part:
"He played his game elusively,
but pa knew of his priors,
now he repents exclusively
while riding through the briers."
Well done from top to bottom. :) Bob
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Hello, my friend. Indeed, I like this poetry.
Especially this part:
"He played his game elusively,
but pa knew of his priors,
now he repents exclusively
while riding through the briers."
Well done from top to bottom. :) Bob
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the encouraging comments and generous stars, Bob. Have a wonderful week. Nancy:)😊✨
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You too, Nan. Bob
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You too, Nan. Bob
Comment from judiverse
This a wonderful story in a poem. Finn was a smooth talker. I doubt that the lass deserved him. Fun bit about papa and his shotgun. It is useless for parents to interfere. If the child is in love, she's going to do what she pleases. Great job with the brogue, and excellent ending. This is delightful. judi
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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This a wonderful story in a poem. Finn was a smooth talker. I doubt that the lass deserved him. Fun bit about papa and his shotgun. It is useless for parents to interfere. If the child is in love, she's going to do what she pleases. Great job with the brogue, and excellent ending. This is delightful. judi
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the lovely comments and generous stars, Judi. Have a wonderful week. Nancy:)😃💖
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You're very welcome. Stay safe. judi
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Nancy,
This is so cute. I loved the tale, and the country dialect. It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Newman was taken in by the farmer. However, the farmer, though kind and obliging as could be, was quite protective of his beautiful daughter. And his daughter had the hots for Newman. It wasn't a surprise that the farmer ended up shooting at the big guy's rear. Newman was in speedy retreat.
My favorite verses,
"He was a sly one, I must say,
a blinking lady pleaser,
but when Pa caught us in the hay,
Finn swore I was the teaser.
When I proclaimed me love for him,
me pa sprang into action.
He grabbed his long gun, on a whim,
but missed Finn by a fraction."
But my favorite line is the last one. You really punched it!
"Finn didn't touch me knickers."
Nicely penned story!
Thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Hi Nancy,
This is so cute. I loved the tale, and the country dialect. It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Newman was taken in by the farmer. However, the farmer, though kind and obliging as could be, was quite protective of his beautiful daughter. And his daughter had the hots for Newman. It wasn't a surprise that the farmer ended up shooting at the big guy's rear. Newman was in speedy retreat.
My favorite verses,
"He was a sly one, I must say,
a blinking lady pleaser,
but when Pa caught us in the hay,
Finn swore I was the teaser.
When I proclaimed me love for him,
me pa sprang into action.
He grabbed his long gun, on a whim,
but missed Finn by a fraction."
But my favorite line is the last one. You really punched it!
"Finn didn't touch me knickers."
Nicely penned story!
Thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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LOL Thank you for the awesome response and the generous stars, Kimbob. He chased her until he caught him. LOL Love your response. Have a great weekend. Nancy:).😊👍
Comment from robyn corum
Nancy,
hahahaha I love it! The girl gets what she wants and the poor guy better learn to deal with it. Sounds like he is getting a wife worthy of his time - a fun, smart one, who won't put up with much. haha Thanks!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Nancy,
hahahaha I love it! The girl gets what she wants and the poor guy better learn to deal with it. Sounds like he is getting a wife worthy of his time - a fun, smart one, who won't put up with much. haha Thanks!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the awesome review and stars, Robyn. Have a great day. Nancy:)😃💖
