April
A girl I met in spring27 total reviews
Comment from Sonaleeka
Hey Ward,
Always a pleasure to read your poem.Very amazing words with smooth flow.I enjoy every time ,I read your stuff.
God bless!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Hey Ward,
Always a pleasure to read your poem.Very amazing words with smooth flow.I enjoy every time ,I read your stuff.
God bless!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed my poem.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is like a song... I tried singing it and it worked! Not that I can sing, but I can hear it put to music. The way you wrote the last two lines of each stanza is very effective, jsut slightly different yet the same. Nicely done! :)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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This is like a song... I tried singing it and it worked! Not that I can sing, but I can hear it put to music. The way you wrote the last two lines of each stanza is very effective, jsut slightly different yet the same. Nicely done! :)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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It did start out life as a song. I can't help but hear the bass in rhythm with the words when I read it. Not everyone notices this. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Muffins
Your authors note speak the truth. We ride the bus, share offices and sometimes lunch with people who are barely holding on. They are insane but with control.
The repetitions allow the poems point to come across with strength and meaning. This sounds like a song lyric. I can already hear the deep bass and soulful voice giving this poem musical life.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Your authors note speak the truth. We ride the bus, share offices and sometimes lunch with people who are barely holding on. They are insane but with control.
The repetitions allow the poems point to come across with strength and meaning. This sounds like a song lyric. I can already hear the deep bass and soulful voice giving this poem musical life.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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This started life as a song and, when I read it, I hear a bass in my head in rhythm with the words. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhyming
effective use of repetition to intensify emotion
good alliteration in phrases like still the same and in lost in loving
compelling expression of emotion
Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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strong rhyming
effective use of repetition to intensify emotion
good alliteration in phrases like still the same and in lost in loving
compelling expression of emotion
Brooke
Comment Written 16-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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Thank you Brooke for your feedback once again. It is always appreciated.
Comment from Bobby Jo
This could be a song, yet, it is a song in your heart. I liked this poem, I felt the love come out and the sadness with it. great job.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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This could be a song, yet, it is a song in your heart. I liked this poem, I felt the love come out and the sadness with it. great job.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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This actually started life as a song a few years ago but I never got around to finishing it. When I read it though it still seems to fall into a certain type of rhythm in my head that makes me think of a song. Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Ward,
You are so right in your Author Notes. There are all kinds among us. Some that need help but don't have the resources to get what they need, so they are left to their own defenses.
You bring out many good points in this piece. Well done.
Cheers & Blessings,
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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Hi Ward,
You are so right in your Author Notes. There are all kinds among us. Some that need help but don't have the resources to get what they need, so they are left to their own defenses.
You bring out many good points in this piece. Well done.
Cheers & Blessings,
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 15-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much for your comments.
Comment from Joan E.
This is the first of your works that I have read. Welcome to FanStory--I hope the site is fulfilling your goals for membership. I admired your five-line format with the repeat at the end of each stanza and the striking photograph you added to reinforce the theme. Your poem about a lost love is quite evocative. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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This is the first of your works that I have read. Welcome to FanStory--I hope the site is fulfilling your goals for membership. I admired your five-line format with the repeat at the end of each stanza and the striking photograph you added to reinforce the theme. Your poem about a lost love is quite evocative. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 15-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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Thank you Joan for your welcome and your comments.
Comment from granny goes viral
Oh boy, "ya' got that right!" Very wise and wistful song without music. I wonder if that is what it feels like to be "insane"? When I was training as a clinician, it was common to say...after a few weeks, you can't tell the patients from the medical staff. Now retired, I can let my full crazy run wild...if only my knees still worked.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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Oh boy, "ya' got that right!" Very wise and wistful song without music. I wonder if that is what it feels like to be "insane"? When I was training as a clinician, it was common to say...after a few weeks, you can't tell the patients from the medical staff. Now retired, I can let my full crazy run wild...if only my knees still worked.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014
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It's hard to run amok when you can't run anymore. How do we know if we are insane or not?
Thank you reading and reviewing.
Comment from ravenblack
At first, I really did not like the simplicity of some of your lines- the birds began to sing , happy/sad but after several reads, think it serves the poem well. We want love to be all about birds singing, emotions to be as simple as happy/sad. But in the face of instability, it is not to be so.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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At first, I really did not like the simplicity of some of your lines- the birds began to sing , happy/sad but after several reads, think it serves the poem well. We want love to be all about birds singing, emotions to be as simple as happy/sad. But in the face of instability, it is not to be so.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from livelylinda
Author: I read this poem three times and the feeling I was left with was a bit of confusion. I then read your Author Note which I didn't understand at all. The picture you have chosen hints at insanity. You move from a girl you met to wars to life's miseries, then to pain/blame, finishing off with defeat and loss. The repeated last two lines of each stanza don't quite work. . .perhaps using, . . .repeat line. . ., to make it stand out, would help keep the poem going. It made me think that there was maybe too much within this poem so that no one point is terribly clear; a stew of ideas but with the least effective mix of spices. I know that you probably worked very hard on this and put much feeling into it. I am sorry that I can't fully understand it nor enjoy it. But, that is just my opinion. livelylinda
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Author: I read this poem three times and the feeling I was left with was a bit of confusion. I then read your Author Note which I didn't understand at all. The picture you have chosen hints at insanity. You move from a girl you met to wars to life's miseries, then to pain/blame, finishing off with defeat and loss. The repeated last two lines of each stanza don't quite work. . .perhaps using, . . .repeat line. . ., to make it stand out, would help keep the poem going. It made me think that there was maybe too much within this poem so that no one point is terribly clear; a stew of ideas but with the least effective mix of spices. I know that you probably worked very hard on this and put much feeling into it. I am sorry that I can't fully understand it nor enjoy it. But, that is just my opinion. livelylinda
Comment Written 15-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
