Comment from Treischel

Excellent

Oh yes indeed. Been there and done that with each of my five children, those teenage years are the worst, the girls even more difficult than the boys. Somehow they did survive and turned into humans again. This one touched a cord.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Tom. That was my daughter 15 years ago. It was a difficult time but we got through it OK. She's changed a bit since then! She still thinks she's immortal though!

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

T this reads like a daughter leaving the nest..I have a 25 year old daughter who is yet to leave the nest and go out into the real world. just hope that when she does she takes with her all the advice and support we have always given her..but once they leave that front door they are ouit in the world and learning in the school of life and hard knocks experiences in both joy and sadness.
we can only give them direction..whether they take that direction is another thing

thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Dip! That was my daughter 15 years ago. It was a difficult time but we got through it OK. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though. She's back in Africa again at the moment taking photos to expose situations that the authorities would rather keep under wraps. She still thinks she's immortal!

Comment from Sonaleeka

Excellent

I just love the follow.Very true and strong feeling hidden in this poem.I am glad got a chance to read your poem.Thanks for sharing.

God bless!

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Sonaleeka. That was my daughter 15 years ago. She's changed a bit since then!

Comment from Lastamen

Excellent

Young hearts know of love from a shattered perspective of perpetual angst. It twists and bends and turns and breaks along the varying textures of all that has been so deliberately portrayed in this intriguing rendition. Well done.

Till the last amen

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Lastamen. That was my daughter 15 years ago. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though.

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

"Aloha" Tony - every parent of a ten will vibe with this one! I saw my own parents go through it with both my younger sisters (and yes, probably with me, too, though of course I'm not going to admit that!) Question: if this is a 'dizain', why have you written each verse in five lines only? Just curious, as I've not seen the form before. For my taste, I'd not use upper case at the start of each line, but rather (where the sense continues), go for lower case - as sometimes I had to re-read the line before. Love your image of Damocles' sword - very powerful! This event obviously is still very present in your emotional memory and the power of that memory comes across in your writing.
:)Sharyn

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Sharyn. That was my daughter 15 years ago. It was a difficult time but we got through it OK. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though. She's back in Africa again at the moment taking photos to expose situations that the authorities would rather keep under wraps. She still thinks she's immortal!

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

A very well written poem which conforms to the requirements. I haven't written one of these, but will add it to my list of things to write and hope I live long enough to get them all done, LOL. Take care, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Debbie. That was my daughter 15 years ago. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

If you have children, you'll know how it feels, .. how often I tell my children this!

The anguished cry of a parent to his/her prodigal. May the child return, please God

Parenthood is a life sentence, I've been told!

Have a lovely week, Tony.

Sonali

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Sonali. That was my daughter 15 years ago. It was a difficult time but we got through it OK. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though. She's back in Africa again at the moment taking photos to expose situations that the authorities would rather keep under wraps. She still thinks she's immortal!

Comment from Bina1

Excellent

I don't know who has it worse sometimes! Is it the kid trying to find their way or the parents waiting for them to crash? You tell a fine, age old story in your fine poem. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, Bina. That was my daughter 15 years ago. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though.

Comment from sswartz

Excellent

Written well. Your word choice meshes nicely with the theme. Not too wordy or too short. I can feel the emotion. Great piece.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, sswartz. That was my daughter 15 years ago. She's changed a bit since then!

Comment from lappmellott

Excellent

Great job on the poem. And, it is oh so true. I would gladly give up my life to save the life of any one of the three daughters. Great photograph, too.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2014

Thanks for your review, lappmellot. That was my daughter 15 years ago. She's changed a bit since then! Still a risk taker though.

reply by lappmellott on 16-Jul-2014

You're welcome.