King Sawyer
a story poem in rhyming couplets115 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
LOL! How true! And I love his moat. :)
while Sawyer searched for socks to keep his royal tootsies warm. << Got a good laugh out of this line. Kings and little kids have much in common, being concerned with themselves. Just the other day, Mark was comparing one of our leaders to a "little kid who had to have his way"... seems like some folks forget to grow up. But when you're a little kid, you are a like a king, so it works both ways. It's when you get old enough to see that others want things too that life becomes more challenging.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
  |
LOL! How true! And I love his moat. :)
while Sawyer searched for socks to keep his royal tootsies warm. << Got a good laugh out of this line. Kings and little kids have much in common, being concerned with themselves. Just the other day, Mark was comparing one of our leaders to a "little kid who had to have his way"... seems like some folks forget to grow up. But when you're a little kid, you are a like a king, so it works both ways. It's when you get old enough to see that others want things too that life becomes more challenging.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
Phyllis, thanks so much. Mommy actually built the moat. LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from Carole Rosa
Brooke, As always, this is a great prose within a poem. Years ago, I made a sand castle at Redondo Beach too! Good thing Sawyer's castle was saved from the storm. I enjoyed the lovely poem. Carole
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
|
Brooke, As always, this is a great prose within a poem. Years ago, I made a sand castle at Redondo Beach too! Good thing Sawyer's castle was saved from the storm. I enjoyed the lovely poem. Carole
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
Carole, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting and beautiful poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. I suppose we all built our sandcastles and ruled millions at one time in our life, but sadly we have to wake up to reality. I suppose I am still dreaming with my writing, but we need a dream to cling to. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
 |
This is yet another interesting and beautiful poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. I suppose we all built our sandcastles and ruled millions at one time in our life, but sadly we have to wake up to reality. I suppose I am still dreaming with my writing, but we need a dream to cling to. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
Tomes, thank you so much for your gracious comments and generous sixth star :-) Brooke
-
My pleasure
Comment from Dawn Munro
Sheesh, I did it again - my sixes are all gone. I've been reviewing like a maniac since midnight Saturday (3 hours sleep only) and I just read the most wonderful free verse (SLHarper's "Chickens") - it took the last one, my dear friend - I'm so sorry I don't have any more - TOM, puh-leeeeze think about giving them out according to the amount of reviewing people do?
OUTSTANDING!!!*********************!!!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
|
Sheesh, I did it again - my sixes are all gone. I've been reviewing like a maniac since midnight Saturday (3 hours sleep only) and I just read the most wonderful free verse (SLHarper's "Chickens") - it took the last one, my dear friend - I'm so sorry I don't have any more - TOM, puh-leeeeze think about giving them out according to the amount of reviewing people do?
OUTSTANDING!!!*********************!!!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
I will have to go read the poem that stole my six. LOL Thanks so much, Dawn :-) Brooke
Comment from Charlene0513
To adewpearl,
Sawyer is quite the dreamer or should I say schemer that holds all the cards.
You have exercised good use of enjambments throughout along with proximate rhyming.
Very nice flow and cadence to your quatrains.
Charlene
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
|
To adewpearl,
Sawyer is quite the dreamer or should I say schemer that holds all the cards.
You have exercised good use of enjambments throughout along with proximate rhyming.
Very nice flow and cadence to your quatrains.
Charlene
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
Charlene, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from flylikeaneagle
06 July 2014
Adewpearl: I got six score back but I would give you a 10+++.
Your story is so cute with the visuals and the command of Sawyer being in charge. I like the awesome news and all he did was snooze couplet. Maybe, the hard work and the sun wore him out. Fun poem.
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
|
06 July 2014
Adewpearl: I got six score back but I would give you a 10+++.
Your story is so cute with the visuals and the command of Sawyer being in charge. I like the awesome news and all he did was snooze couplet. Maybe, the hard work and the sun wore him out. Fun poem.
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
flylikeaneagle, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Brooke,
I love this! Albeit, a bit of a small castle around his moat, but a castle is a castle among his minions, indeed! ('-') This is a keeper!
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers * Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
|
Hi Brooke,
I love this! Albeit, a bit of a small castle around his moat, but a castle is a castle among his minions, indeed! ('-') This is a keeper!
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers * Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
Jax, thanks so much for your thoughtful comments and kind contest wishes :-) Brooke
Comment from l.raven
OMG Brooke, King Sawyer....I loved your poem about his castle...made me smile....so cute and...so very well written...ya know I love the picture...and your poem..Luff Linda xxoo Love
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
|
OMG Brooke, King Sawyer....I loved your poem about his castle...made me smile....so cute and...so very well written...ya know I love the picture...and your poem..Luff Linda xxoo Love
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
-
Linda, thank you so much :-) Yesterday they called me and he told me all about his castle and moat, so cute :-) Brooke
-
your so welcome...sooooo cute!!! xxoo
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the aabb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with walls/calls. Good story telling. Good rhythm and flow. Good eye catching photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
|
Good use of the aabb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with walls/calls. Good story telling. Good rhythm and flow. Good eye catching photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
-
Righteous Riter, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from 9999pool
What a fun story to read in a fairytale of the kingdom of sawyer. The one is command is always right, even when the reverse is true, smiles.
What can the minions say except they have done their job, but the credit had to be given to King Sawyer.
The moral of this story is that the world can be unkind and unfair when we are not the one with the commanding voice. Similarly, when money speaks, the world is silent, lol.
A most enjoyable great story to read and good luck with the contest.
Cheerio, smiles and hugs, Ritchie. :))
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
|
What a fun story to read in a fairytale of the kingdom of sawyer. The one is command is always right, even when the reverse is true, smiles.
What can the minions say except they have done their job, but the credit had to be given to King Sawyer.
The moral of this story is that the world can be unkind and unfair when we are not the one with the commanding voice. Similarly, when money speaks, the world is silent, lol.
A most enjoyable great story to read and good luck with the contest.
Cheerio, smiles and hugs, Ritchie. :))
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
-
Ritchie, thank you so much :-) Brooke
-
One day Mrs Queen Sawyer will get King Sawyer to submit to her will too, lol.
:)) Ritchie.
