Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

I didn't read your author notes until last. Up to that point, this was a very good poem constructed for the purpose of this contest. After I read the author notes, this quickly turned into a beautiful tribute to a young hero. This is very moving albeit,sad. Carefully chosen words provided vivid imagery in the mind's eye. Nicely done, my friend. Good luck in the contest.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thank you very much, Suzanne. It was a very sad day around here that day. At the funeral, I thought I heard the whole nation let out one collective sigh.

I truly appreciate you review.

Comment from Sonaleeka

Excellent

It's amazing the way it's written with simple words.
I loved it.Best of luck for the contest.Always painfull to loose your dear one in war.

God bless!have a nice day!

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thanks, Sonalleka. That's me, Simple Simon, LOL. My poetry rarely needs interpretation or a thesaurus to decipher any hidden meanings. I was always taught that where poetry is concerned, just keep it simple, say what you mean and mean what you say.

Thanks for your kind review.

Comment from DanielEkine

Excellent

A day in history, that we may never forget. From generation after generation, we are crafted by the pains from that day.
The artwork drives me to tears, and the song kills my heart with pains. How said!
"refrain/lain,
grass/pass.
man/band
son/undone...
cheek/speak;
fishin/mission.
bone/home!
wreck/speck.
unseen/green
skies/cries.
left/bereft,
dies/eyes."
A unique alliteration and rhyme.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thanks, Daniel. When he came home from Iraq, back to our neighborhood funeral parlor, there was not a dry eye in that place, I can tell you that. Will was such a great kid, with so much promise.

Thanks for your touching review.

Comment from Acquired Taste

Exceptional

This is absolutely beautiful. Heart-wrenching words doubly impacted by the bagpipe tribute. I am still tearing.

Your words have a way of evoking true emotion on whatever issue you decide to write. You are blessed with a terrific gift.

Definitely 6 stars. AT=/

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thank you, Jean. This one was pretty easy because it came straight from the heart, and spilled out upon the page. I loved Will like a son. My son loved him like a brother. He is dearly missed, and was a funny, intelligent and very respectful young man. Thanks again for your kind review, and honoring his memory.

Comment from acerisestory

Exceptional

This is a beautiful and, unfortunately, a sad refrain. What a lovely poem about the sadness of the slain soldier's father. Your meter and rhyme are perfect, and you've made fine use of alliteration. Best of luck in the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thank you very much, Alana. I am very grateful for your touching, heartfelt review and exceptional rating. Will was a great kid. We all really miss him.

Comment from Erik McGinley

Excellent

I'm not fond of USA politics or military.
But I have never had any problems with
courage or bravery.


Big Ben can bend the knee when it comes to USA cavalry
And Scots gung ho can field the hoe on Canadian chivalry
But Ben is just a southern bend, bending on his knee
When USA, and Scot and Can, in silence do agree.

Ne'ir solace nor hope shall gain
That field our boys in vain
That to rape do send and ego's conquest gain
And sorrows reap with blood's refrain

At the end of day, our flags fly high.
Maple gainst shelter'd thistle's thigh;
Scottish wolf beside the eagle;
'Side them both stands the bloody beaver.

R'lans' queen stands full proud
Avec Francais toute ensemble
And Wales with Spain
Stands great in old resemblance

And still old England resides
In ancient foolish prides
Forgetful that your Queen is ours
And measures failure's breath in hours.

Not really a tribute to the Queen of England.
Very much a tribute to the Queen of Scotland.
Ad Elizabeth II, Scottia Reginae.

Elizabeth is Our queen.
The sassenachs can find their own.
Salmond can eat his own roe.


It's not often that someone writes something that gets a poem out of me. Thank you.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Thanks for your poetic response, Eric. Having been a former Marine, I can truly relate to what these brave young men and women, from countries all over the globe, are going through as they fight the war on terrorism. I knew Will personally. He played on the school basketball team with my son, and they were close friends, like brothers. So, regardless of politics, a young boy went to fight, and a young man wound up dying for something he truly believed in. I would hope no one could find fault in that.

Thanks for your review.

reply by Erik McGinley on 01-Jul-2014

That is exactly the impression I got and I think you wrote a beautiful poem to reflect that.

In Scotland (I am not a believer) we have people that go out to do their best.

Belief or not, on my part, they go to do their job. Even though I do not believe in it, it is what my nephew wanted to do. These people have guts and determination and they believe what they believe regardless of what I do.

They deserve honour for doing what they believe is right for the people they believe in.

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Yes, they certainly do.

Thanks again, Eric.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

One of the hard points of war is it thins out the youth of the nation. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good job.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Thanks for your comments, Charlie.

reply by c_lucas on 01-Jul-2014

You're welcome.

Comment from Karen B.

Exceptional

Love it all but that second stanza especially stands out to me. His only son who's died for freedoms left undone...that says so much. Wonderful imagery throughout. A powerful tribute to a true hero, beautifully expressed and presented.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Thank you, my dear Karen. It's sad that we're losing so many brave, fine young men and women to these wars. I only pray it is all for something in the end.

Thanks again for your heartfelt response and generous rating.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming couplets
a most thoughtful presentation of your poem
good alliteration in bugler blows and stoic still and blood and bone and others
excellent use of enjambment
a beautiful tribute to those who have died in battle - what a moving story of this father who has lost a beloved son
Brooke

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

And one our family had the unfortunate experience of witnessing firsthand.

Thank you for your kind review, adewpearl.

reply by adewpearl on 01-Jul-2014

I don't think my children have lost friends to this war. Some members of my church have been deployed but came back safely. Such sacrifices families make.

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Yes, we have lost a few brave sons and daughters in my neck-of-the-woods. However, Will frequently visited our home, and my son played on the basketball team with him. He was a fine young man, and we all miss his spirit deeply.

Comment from NotYou

Excellent

This poem would touch anyone's heart, especially the ones who have lost their beloved ones. It's not the loss of your community only, it's the loss of the whole nation to lose one of the brave soldiers.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014

Yes, you're right of course, NotYou. It is our entire nation that grieves.

Thank you for your time and review.